We want to have another baby. But our son is only 15 months. We don't know what our family would think of it.

Question

We don't speak to my husbands family because they say they hate me. They made my first pregnancy very hard and pulled my husband away all the time. I spent it by myself most of the time because we lived 2 hours away from my family. We live now near my folks and away from his parents and he doesn't speak to them anymore. I just don't know what my family would think since we are only 22 and have only been married for 2 years. We are currently staying with my parents to get some money saved up to buy a home and I also don't know if now is the time to get pregnant. Help!!! Thanks all,

We will only be staying with my folks for a couple of months. We are moving out in march. We are just trying to put some money away.

Answer 1

It is definitely your choice to have or not have a child when YOU feel you are ready. My oldest two were only 15 months apart because I CHOSE to have them that close, even though I was living with a friend, and even though his parents were dead set against it. It is never anyone else's business when you decide to add to your family. It is a personal decision. Yes money helps. And yes it would be nice to have your own house in which to raise your children in and to set up your family in, but it is not required. What is required is for you to reflect on your situation honestly and decide what is the best option for you and your family.

Answer 2

There are a few points in your question.

1. "they pulled your husband away". Has your husband got a backbone, what on earth is he doing with his family whilst you are pregnant and having a baby. He has to make choices now that he has a family, and that choice should be to look after you and not tody to his parents.

2. You are staying with your prents to be able to save to buy a home, which is a really good idea. A good start for a new family. If you are staying with your mother that means you don't have the resources to look after yourselves. If you can't look after yourselves at this time, why have another child, with will be another financial burden.

By all means have another child, when you are both able to stand on your two feet, with the little boy you have now. Buy the house first, then have another child. You will be much more relaxed because your situation has improved and you will not always be worrying as to how you can pay your bills.
This will be good for the children you will have. Money worries are the worst thing because it affects your whole family.

My opinion, as a mother of six adults, and the grandmother of 7. Wait until you get more financially secure and have bought your first house, before you have a second child.
It is also not a good idea to get pregnant again whilst you are living with your parents, it puts an extra burden on them.

Use your common sense, and you will find your future a less stressful one, and a happier one, because you have made good decisions.

Answer 3

If you were living on your own in your own house, then another baby would be a fine thing.

However, since you are currently living on the charity of your family - with a baby already - I would advise that you wait until you were better of financially before having a second child.

Scrimp. Save. Work hard. Buy a house and THEN have the second child.

Until then - practice good birth control and help out at your parents' house as much as you possibly can.

Answer 4

As hard as this is to hear, now is not the right time for another baby. Wait until you are not living with your parents. Frankly - as much as this ought to be your/your husband's decision, when you are living with someone else it's not completely up to you as it will greatly impact their lives as well. Financially speaking, having a baby now will seriously impact your ability to save enough money to move out anytime soon. So WAIT.

OK, great - so wait til March to get pregnant and then it won't matter what your parents think/say. That's only a few months away - and trust me - it's so much easier to move when you aren't dealing with morning sickness.

Answer 5

Under different circumstances, I'd say you are a fine age to have another child (my parents were both 20 by the time my baby sister was born). But, since money is an issue for you, I'd say hold off. You have plenty of time to have another child. Get yourselves settled, move out, establish your life together, and then start thinking of that second (or third or more) child. There's no rush. You are still very young and have plenty of time.

Answer 6

I think that you should wait to get your own place first and then have your second baby. Because it's really hard staying with other people, even family you love (been there). Because you dont have your own privacy. I would suggest you get your own place first and then have your next baby. That's what I'm doing, my husband moved out of state for a job and I'm waiting to move there with him (have to sell our place). And I want a baby soo bad right now but I know it's best to wait until we have our own nest of love! The wait is worth it. You'll have less stress, more freedom and you both will be able to enjoy the baby more. Good luck to you!

Answer 7

My concern is the behavoir your husband. If he can't stand up his parents,and be there for you when you need him,please just amagine how much harder it is go through this, with more kids. its WAY harder. everytime I had another kid,i thought it would make my husband be there for me more,but it didn't change anything,and now i have 3kids,and its WAY harder trying to deal with life,with 3kids, only now realizing I was better off without him,but now i cant afford to live on my own,and support 3kids. but i do love him too.

Answer 8

The decision to have another child is YOURS and your husband's alone...and what others think is of no consequence....

Use your own brain, make your decisions based upon what is best for YOU and within your marriage -- not those outside of your marriage.

Do what you think is most practical right now. It's no one else's decision.

take care.