Should I tell my mom?

Question

I walked in on my sister having sex. I am 14 and she is 16. I don't know what to do. I have always been the good, nice girl and I don't want to get my sister in trouble, but I think my mom should really know. I'm so confused. Can someone help me?

In our family it is a firm belief not to have sex until you are married. This is why I am soooo torn. If I tell my mom, my sister will suffer SEVERE consequences. But, then again, she did do a horrible thing. I think I will first have a talk with my sister and let her know I know. I think I will then tell my mom what I saw, and have her talk to my sister. I dont want to get too involved. I will let them sort out the punishment. I will never ever be like Erin.

Answer 1

this is a tough one! my first instinct as a parent is you should tell them. then I thought about my sisters. If I were in your place, I wouldn't have told. I think you should talk to your sister. Let her know you don't want to tell on her because it is a personal thing, but tell her you love her and worry that she is not being careful about it. Tell her you really look up to her and want to be able to talk with her when you are ready to have sex because who breaks that kind of news to their parents? Well, lol I did, I told my parents when I was first considering having sex and I was older than 16-not a pretty sight! I totally regretted it. anyway, just be open with her and like I said, tell her she will be the one you are going to and you want to know that she will give you good advice.

Answer 2

Why do you feel like your mother should "really know" that her 16 year old daughter is sexually active ???
I'm a big sister and I had a hard time too with the realities of my younger sister getting involved in "sex"and "partying." Looking back now I'm glad I never ran and told our mother even though i was worried. Yes, it is very confusing because we don't want to see our sisters get hurt or involved in bad situations But, You have to just trust that your sister is protecting herself and making the best choices that she possibly can without getting your mother involved. My suggestion would be to just "remind" your big sis on the importance of protecting herself with condoms and birth control even though she may already be taking those precautions.
Sounds like you are close with your big sis and if so, she will probably appreciate your care and concern "without" the "mama drama."

Answer 3

Not sure if I'd tell your mom exactly what you saw, your sister will never forgive you and never trust you. You should approach your sister and ask her if she is on birth control. i mean she is older than you and it's not really your business. You want her to confide in you and you in her, as her sister, seriously, the deed has already been done, so the major concern is if she is having safe sex and not just condoms. If she isn't having safe sex, then talk to your mom, but don't completely tel on her. Tell your mom, you think she might be or that it might be time to have the sex safety talk, and when your mom asks why, say I am not going to get into that, but you should just have the talk.

Answer 4

I don't think that you should tell on her. The reason why I am saying this is because they will find out for themselves eventually or you never know she might tell them one day. But don't put yourself in that situation because you will be the bad one at the end. If your parents ever ask you after your sister has told them or gotten caught then you will tell them that you did not want to be that person and that it was her business. I am sure in the long run they will understand.

Answer 5

Don't tell anyone. It may seem like the thing to do right now but one day you'll regret doing it. Talk it over with your sister but never take a chance on losing your brother or sister's trust.

Answer 6

I think this should be resolve between you and your sister, talked to her and make sure she knows the consequences of what she is doing. Don’t tell your mom, she will eventually find out this way you are in good terms with both of them…good luck.

Answer 7

Make your sister tell her. Tell her that if she don't tell her by morning that your going to. Your mother should know!
Now you said "don't want her to get in trouble" if you think it is that bad she will be punished from it encourage your sister to talk to someone she trusts.

Answer 8

I know you are trying to save your sister, but you will be saving her from getting pregnant at that age, if you tell your mother. I am sorry, but your sister is already in trouble. Your mother should definitely know, and since you are the only one that knows, you have to be the one to tell her.

She is going to be very mad at you, but take heart that you are doing the right thing for her, and basically saving her from herself. Do not have any guilt about this, and tell you mother in the most positive way possible, without judging.

Answer 9

Tell your mom. Your sister needs to get on some good birth control and advice on how to prevent STDs.

Yes, your sister will get in trouble. She should. She was probably breaking house rules - big time.

Answer 10

I think you really need to talk to your sister, if you to get along well maybe she will listen to you and you can help her, I doubt she will stop having sex if you or your mom talk to her, but you should make sure she is being salf, using comdoms and maybe convince her to get on the pill. She can go to your local health dept and they will give her birth control and they legally cant tell your parents shes on it. just try to be her friend, telling your mom most likely will not help but if you feel she isnt listening to you and is being unsafe then you will most likely have to tell you mother. Good luck.