I told him i didn't want a boyfriend and stopped at things SOON before it got "serious". We weren't even dating, just hanging out. My reasons for not wanting to be in a relationship has nothing to do w. the person - it's just something i'm going through in my life right now. He said he understood but his actions contradicted what he said.
I hung out w. him yet resisted to be physical (I didn't wanna just abruptly ignore him, slowly avoid him). He would tempt me and stupid me fell for it a few times and I finally stopped and said, "that's it' and he got mad. He blamed me for everything despite the fact i warned him and established what i had wanted. It's like he listened but didn't get it. He thought the fact that he kept pursuing me against my wishes showed how much he loved and cared for me
what do you think?
2007-12-04 05:29:16 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I didn't sleep with him!!!!
2007-12-04 05:33:43 · update #1
It's not a crime to be friends with someone even though you know they want more out of it. You just have to stick to your guns and not fall for his lines once you've told him you don't want a relationship. Despite what Hunny said, your actions don't give women a bad name...everybody makes mistakes.
2007-12-04 05:36:01 · answer #1 · answered by WT 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think that you should have taken some time away from this person for good , for a while. To me, what I just read was something like this " No Tommy you can't have your cupcake until after you have had your dinner" but then deciding to give Tommy half the the cupcake just before dinner to avoid an argument that was inevitable.
Tell Tommy that you need some time to sort thru things and that you will be willing to re-enter the relationship at such and such a date. That way you both would have had sometime to get collected in your thoughts , not to mention your actions when you guys get together again. Explain to him what you experienced when you were with him, and if he wanted to, let him do the same. In the long run it all blew up in your guys faces. You need to say EXACTLY what you mean.
Also there is no tapering down and out of a relationship. In circumstances such as these you need to be precise.
In my opinion you beat around the bush trying to avoid the inevitable. You have to learn to take the good w/ the bad.
Bad move on both of your behalves.
2007-12-06 02:19:35 · answer #2 · answered by earthball50@sbcglobal.net 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say it's a lesson learned. next time if you don't want the relationship i just would not even let it get to the kiss stage tell them you just need a friend, then later only if it grows into something and ONLY if it does go to the second stage. It may not hurt for you to call and tell him you may have handled it wrong.
2007-12-04 13:40:06 · answer #3 · answered by MmMoore 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As much as you can't stop others from hating you, you also can't stop others from loving you. If that is not acceptable for you, tell him so (as you did) and take yourself out of the picture if necessary.
If anything, you were immature for not understanding the fact you can't control other's emotions by just telling the person. Was he disrespectful? Yes, he was, but you knew he cared for you, and you continue to see him.
Bottom line.. you can't change others just because you said so.
2007-12-04 13:36:24 · answer #4 · answered by tkquestion 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think that's just the way a lot of immature boys are. It sounds like he's probably going to keep after you until you give in or he gives up. It's not your fault.
2007-12-04 13:34:05 · answer #5 · answered by leaptad 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
haha is your name Mj and are you from new jersey? cause this EXACT thing just happened to me, im 20 shes 22 we hooked up, she said she didnt want a relationship, shes very confused might like someone else, always gives me mixed signals and whever were together it seems like were dating-man do i hate when women do this make up your damn minds and let us get on with our livesor continue to be with you!!
2007-12-04 13:38:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are pretty much to blame for your troubles. You tell him you don't want relationship then let him get to you. You sent mixed signals. For men it is all about the chase. In future if you want no to mean no then mean it yourself and keep your distance.
2007-12-04 13:34:21 · answer #7 · answered by just me 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's easy to send mixed signals, even when you don't mean to. And some people don't understand subtleties. Sounds like your time is better spent with other people.
2007-12-04 13:37:43 · answer #8 · answered by beez 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that he has the problem and not you .. he's trying to pressurise you into doing something you don't want to. You shouldn't hang out with him if he's going to give you attitude for no valid reason.
2007-12-04 13:37:05 · answer #9 · answered by MOONWALKER1♥ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it's hard for a guy to understand that no means no when you're giving out the 'maybe' signal
Tell him you're sorry and then quit hanging out, etc with him. If you're really not interested, then that's the only way to get the guy to move on.
2007-12-04 13:33:35 · answer #10 · answered by Pam 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋