I have been with my boyfriend 5 years nearly and I thought I really loved him. I would of done anything for him. Recently he has started to doubt me and says he doesnt trust me. Everytime I go out he will casue arguments which ruins my nights out. To add to this mess a lad from work has started to pay me a lot of attention, he tells me he is not happy with his partner and he always compliments me and I think I have totally fallen for this guy, I have tried not to but I cant help it. I seriously dont know what to do, I cant get this situation out of my head. It feels to me as if I have grown up in our relationship and my boyfriend is still a little boy. I have told him how I feel and he says he knows it is him, but I really dont know what I can do? Please help
2007-12-04 04:33:51 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Eh- If you get with this new guy he will probably get sick of you after awhile and go onto another girl... Id stick with your ex and really try to work it out.
2007-12-04 04:38:09 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK. I don't know if there's an easy way to say this. The lad at work. Not happy with his partner so making eyes at you. That doesn't sound good. If he can ditch one partner for you, he could ditch you later on. Be careful.
Your boyfriend. Why has he started to doubt you? Why does he suddenly not trust you ? You two have to sit down together and talk this out. You have the right to go out and enjoy yourself without hassle, but how often do you and he go out together? What does the othe guy have that your bf doesn't that makes you think you have fallen for him? My advice would be to asl yourself these questions, and sort out in your own mind what you really want to do. Hope this is of some help.
2007-12-04 12:56:28 · answer #2 · answered by SKCave 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he`s really tensed about something that`s why he`s suddenly acting so weird. (As he accepts he knows it`s him). May be he can`t share the problem with any one which is making him more freaky and as a result his depressed angry mind is making even good things worst.(normally when we `re tensed and can`t share or do any thing about the fact then we release it as anger). And we also do it normally with our loved ones or the one we `re close to.
Unlock his emotions by asking him if he`s going under any crisis try to understand him for a while rather than complaining. If it`s a kind of problem i described than he will come around soon.
And if it`s otherwise than may be u should think of leaving him for better and find someone new for ur life
By the way the reason u have fallen for the other guy is cause currently ur guy is not paying enough attention to u moreover he`s complaining too much. And it`s human tendency to look for what he\she needs to any place she\he can find it including LOVE and ATTENTION.
2007-12-04 12:56:30 · answer #3 · answered by Mou 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With nobody expecting to stay in a relationship anymore, it seems to be that no relationship will ever be like the one that your parents may have had. Argue too much? Just quit and start over. Fall for another guy? Dump the one you got! What makes you think you don't love him (your BF) anymore? He sees you wondering away, and says something about it, but he's the one doing something wrong? Of course he feels jealous, he's got a right to be. You're thinking about another man! You haven't grow up at all! Tell the guy at work that you are IN a relationship, now. Then tell your BF that you're sorry, and see what you need to do to fix your 5 year investment in someone that loves you, and is afraid enough to loose you to say something about it.
2007-12-04 12:55:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before you move to another guy, why don't you worry about your current relationship first. You need to decide if you are willing to lose 5 years with this guy. You need to get to the bottom of the fact that he doesn't trust you. Did you do something to lose his trust? Or is this paranoia out of the blue?
He shouldn't make you feel bad for wanting to go out with friends. You are a big girl, and (should be) smart enough not to cheat on him. If he can not get over his trust issues, then maybe the relationship has run its course. But if he is willing to work on his issues, then give him another shot, he might turn out to be a better boyfriend in the end.
Either way you choose, good luck!
2007-12-04 12:39:33 · answer #5 · answered by MayMay 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel...i have been with my bf for a yr but there is a guy from work that hits on me all the time and i didnt know what to do!!
So i just sat down one day and thought about everything me and my bf had been through throuhg our year together....all the good..and even the bad which made us stronger. I chose my bf b/c i really love him and that guy at work was just another guy who complimented me as well but only, i think, wants in my pants!
But if your bf is starting to not trust you...why would he have doubts in the first place?! Think about that...he shouldnt unless you are giving him a reason too.
Dont get involved with that guy at work too much either...he taken at the moment...until he is finally through with her...dont seem so interested!
And guys take alot longer to grow up then us women do!
Just think about everything...talk with your bf and tell him how you feel...dont give him a reason not to trust you...without trust there isnt anything!!
Hope i helped some!
2007-12-04 12:41:02 · answer #6 · answered by Minda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are obviously eating up the attention from the guy at work. When we are in relationships for a long time things seem to change if we don't work at it. You need to talk to you boyfriend and see if you can resolve some of your problems. If he refuses to change, you should decide if you can tolerate these things. You should encourage the guy at work to do the same. You both should be single before you start a relationship so there won't be any guilt.
2007-12-04 12:40:40 · answer #7 · answered by Christine M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to ask yourself if you are still happy with your boyfriend. And then you have to ask yourself if you and he want the same thing. Some things you can compromise, some things you can not. If you are looking to settle down and move on, and your boyfriend hasn't reached that point yet, then I say leave him.
You can not allow yourself to distance yourself from him, otherwise you allow yourself to be tempted by infidelity. Infidelity is absolutely MUCH more hurtful than just ending it. You are starting to head down that road.
If you don't love your boyfriend any more, you need to tell him this. Only you can know if there's anyway you can make it work or not. You have to be honest with yourself here. You wouldn't want to end up with someone you are not happy with.
And don't think about this other guy. He is still with his partner. Don't leave your boyfriend for this guy. However, don't dismiss the possibility that you COULD end up with him. As long as he is with his partner, he is not prime real estate. He is still with someone else, and that is just as dangerous as getting involved with a married man. Don't let this other guy influence you.
But let your feelings for him influence you. The fact that you have feelings for someone else outside of your relationship means you need to re-evaluate your relationship with your boyfriend. If it isn't going to work with your boyfriend. Don't just leave your boyfriend because some other guy is interested in you, otherwise you are left looking like the fool if he decides to stay with his partner. But don't stay with your boyfriend just because you are afraid of the notion of being single again.
The fact that your heart is in another place says to me that you probably don't love your boyfriend any more. You have to make that determination unaffected by the suggestions of this other guy. You need to make that determination on your own. And then if this guy leaves his woman THEN pursue him. But don't leave your boyfriend and sacrifice your relationship for this guy.
Leave your boyfriend on your own terms. Don't love him, leave him.
2007-12-04 12:45:09 · answer #8 · answered by "Speedy" 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well which one do u want more ur bf or the guy at work. if u want ur bf then try to help him grow up some. but dont tell himabout the guy at work he will become paranoid and not trust u even more jus tell him that u think i guy at work has a thing for u and u find it funny cuz there is no chance u would get with him. if u want the guy at work easily enough dump ur bf and get with him but make he will dump his gf b4 u do that way u dont mess up. oh yeah dont tel ur bf u denied the guy at work cuz then he become paranoid too which isnt good and will only make it harder
2007-12-04 12:40:33 · answer #9 · answered by chris (alt) 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First thing is, look at your relationship with your boyfriend without bringing this lad from work into it. He's unhappy in his relationship, you're thinking you're unhappy in yours, so you figure why not hook up? If you're unhappy with your boyfriend because he's insecure that's one thing. You are, however, harboring feelings for this guy at work, which may be why your boyfriend is insecure. Spend a weekend away from both of them and see how you feel on Monday. Be honest with yourself and then him.
2007-12-04 12:43:07 · answer #10 · answered by Adom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋