Our 17 year old son has been caught speeding 3 times in past 7 months! He was 16 when he got caught first 2 times. Lawyer prevented loss of drivers license. If we, as parents, take his license away, the full burden of delivery/pickup falls on us. His school is 25 miles from home & he's a 3 sport athlete; drive to girlfriend's house is 50 minutes. We're talking major burden. Is loss of license the only thing that will work? I realize the danger of serious injury is first & foremost without a doubt. Has anyone tried anything else that worked for them? I'd like to hear from parents and a teenager who also had a "lead foot".
2007-12-04 03:23:04 · 9 answers · asked by RUFAUXREAL 2 in Cars & Transportation ➔ Safety
If he can not follow the rules, he has to suffer the consequences. This means that he looses his driving privileges. If he can not get to see his girlfriend, oh well, too bad, so sad! He will have to find alternative transportation! He can take the bus to school, and if he can not find a way to get back home after sports, he may just have to give up playing!
He needs to understand that until he proves that he is responsible, he will not be driving, and you will not go back to providing him transportation! He was the one who drove too fast and got caught! He now has to pay for those actions.
2007-12-04 03:46:48 · answer #1 · answered by fire4511 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
And what good does it do to take his license and then become his driver taking him where ever he wants to go? If the school he has to attend is 25 miles away, it must offer bus service, use it. Or transfer to a school closer. Sorry, no extra curricular things anymore, which includes girl friend. Get there on your own.
Or, let him continue to drive and get his license pulled if he does it again, and this time don't pay for an attorney to 'fix it' for him. It's time he learned the old "Choices lead to consequences" thing that I'm sure you learned.
Just be sure you tell him what the consequences will be of any more tickets. (I'd hate to see your insurance bill.)
2007-12-04 11:35:29 · answer #2 · answered by oklatom 7 · 7⤊ 0⤋
driving is a privilege not a right. he needs to see this first hand. when i was a teen, i was on my own if i got caught speeding; all the fines were out of my pocket; had to work for the fines thru whatever mom/dad set down as work.
he doesnt need to be at his girlfriends since its plainly obvious that he cant respect the law and stay at the speed limit. same for athletics. u are being way too easy on him. just be advised, if he causes a serious wreck because he cant keep his foot out of the injectors, it could come back to haunt u. he doesnt belong on the street. getting tagged 3 times in 7 months is completely irresponsible. in ohio, lawyer or no lawyer, he would be walking. if my son were to do the above, it would be guarenteed he would have to find another way to get to sports, and to/from his girlfriends. to drive my cars, he will have to EARN the privilege. take his keys and tell him to make other arrangements on his own if he wants to continue sports and see his girlfriend.....and while ur at it, tell him he has to ride the bus to school.
2007-12-04 17:21:00 · answer #3 · answered by forktail_devil 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Have him pay his share of the insurance. When I was a teen, I had to pay my own insurance. I got one speeding ticket, and my insurance sky rocketed. I would hate to see what it does with 3 tickets. If he doesn't pay he doesn't get to drive and you don't chauffeur him around, which means he doesn't get to do sports and he doesn't get to visit his girlfriend (unless she has a license and can drive to your house.
Or you can take away his license and just don't drive him every where he wants to go. There is nothing that says he has to do sports in school, nor that he has to visit his girlfriend all the time. In other words, why should you be punished because he's not responsible enough to drive a car?
I also hope he's paying the fines for speeding. If not, he really isn't learning a lesson.
2007-12-04 11:35:19 · answer #4 · answered by Mutt 7 · 8⤊ 0⤋
"our 17 year old", that your answer right there! The bus is a good way to teach them a real hard lesson. I was young to when I had "my" own car, my dad made it clear I was responsible for everything that happened to the car. He also made it clear that if my license was taken away, the bus was still there! We work to much to give our kids what we didn't and this is what happens!!! My parents are still my best friends, even after all of the groundings , all of the punishments , and all of the slaps across the back of my head!!!! They need to know that driving is a privilege, not something that your supposed to do.
2007-12-04 12:55:57 · answer #5 · answered by Johnny 4 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Make him take the bus. You're only obliged to get him to school and back. Period. You are doing him no favors dragging his sorry *** to all his playdates. Real life is what happens to you while you're making excuses for your behavior. Protecting him from reality is a huge mistake. Are you going to babysit him his whole life? I swear to Christ on a Honda. Girlfriends and after-school sports are options. The major burden is... oh, never mind, you're not getting any of this. I can tell by the way you worded your question.
2007-12-04 17:14:40 · answer #6 · answered by Me again 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Understand that he's growing up and he needs to learn by himself. Letting him pay his own fines and summonses is a great way of helping him improve. You know, as an Automotive Service Advisor Apprentice, any automotive accidents in or outside a Service Workshop (even skilled drivers still make mistakes too) will be under my own cost, not by my parents or compensation by the company. So, from there we learnt best. Same for your child on the road. He has to learn that any form of road or carriageway misconduct will be under his own responsibility. So, don't you worry about anything. Just let him learn self-responsibility...
2007-12-04 21:54:28 · answer #7 · answered by Lacieles 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
He's had enough chances. Pull the license and inform him transportation is HIS problem.
You're spoiling the poor kid. He needs to learn some self control.
He can ride a bus.
2007-12-04 21:08:37 · answer #8 · answered by Trump 2020 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
tell him to shape up or find his own transportation.
there as buses!
if he loses his license its his own problem.
Tell him if he wants to keep playing 3 sports and seeing his gf, he is going to have to keep his license. tell him that you will *not* drive him to his sports more then once a week, and you will *not* drive him to his gf's house. Tell him he'll have to figure out how to get everywhere that he wants to go.
2007-12-04 11:40:22 · answer #9 · answered by twinklette.doombunny 3 · 6⤊ 0⤋