my only son going off to college next year? He is my only child and we r extremely close. He will be going to Boston and we live in Nebraska and Im already losing my mind over it!!!! He is such an awesome kid and he is going into pre med to be a neuro surgeon. BUT Im not quite sure what to do without seeing him every day!!!!! I love him so much and my heart is breaking and I cry everytime I think of him leaving! Im worried sick! Im not worried how he will live without me BUT how I will live without him!!!!!!! I have a full time job- so I keep busy. My hubby is celebrating- he says its time for just US. And thats true. BUT part of US is HIM!!!!!! How did others deal with this? I should just move to Boston huh????? HELP!
2007-12-04 03:12:13 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Whether you are mom to only one child or a dozen, each time one of them goes off to live life on his own a little piece of your heart goes with them. It will be so excruciatingly painful at first that you won't know how to get out of bed in the morning, but you will and each day will get a little better. You'll have bad days such as the first birthday you aren't together, the first Christmas he celebrates in his own place, and the first time he gets sick and needs to go to the doctor. But, you'll see how well he does on his own, how happy he is, and even when he makes a bad choice or something bad happens, you'll see how he adequately works things out. On a certain level it does seem a good idea to move to Boston, but as a mom whose only son moved from where we live in Michigan to Arizona, I can tell you with all certainty that he will hate it if you move to where he is. Due to some difficult circumstances (health and finances) our son is now living back at home at 26 years old, chomping at the bit for when he can get his own place again. While he lived in Arizona and then in Texas, we kept in close contact via e-mail and phone. We never stopped worrying about him and praying that he was OK, but the days of seperation, while never welcome, did get easier on all of us. The times we could be together took on a true sense of celebration of family that we some how missed when we all lived under the same roof. Unfortunately, preparing for our kids to leave the nest is one of the most difficult things we do as parents and there is no help for the pain we feel when they no longer need us as much as we still need them. Our 4 kids are now 28, 26, 23, and 10. Our 26 and 23 year old are currently living at home so we have a ways to go before our nest is truly empty. I am like you, I am not looking forward to that moment at all, but my husband, like yours, can barely wait until it is just the 2 of us in the house. I think of my aunt and uncle who have just one child, a son, who will be 30 this month. They live in Michigan, too, but he moved to live in Hawaii just a few months ago. He hasn't lived at home for years, but has at least been living in the same state. They are going through the same sense of loss with him in Hawaii as they did when he got his first apartment. They know, as do I, that even though you miss your son terribly you will come to accept the new dynamic your relationship will take on and you will find it all good as he grows in to the fine man you raised him to be.
2007-12-04 03:56:14 · answer #1 · answered by sevenofus 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with red &sass. I also have an only child, son who is now 20 and in college. He'll have a better experience if he knows you're ok with him away at college. Let him spread his wings, go visit him, and if you must give him a call every now and then. I know it's hard, but you will adjust. I don't know what I'd do without my job! lol
2007-12-04 03:27:15 · answer #2 · answered by butterflylover 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to have an affair........with your husband. He sounds like a super husband and he deserves the best you have to give now that it is time to take the focus off of your son and give him room to grow up.
When my daughter was that age I was too dependant on her also. When she left I told her she was one of my best friends but that I didn't have to be her best friend. Now she is 30 and we are very close as mother and daughter and as friends but we each have a fulfilling life on our own,
My mom would have told you to remember that you are raising that boy to be someones husband some day so make sure he knows you expect him to transfer that love and attention to his special woman when the time comes. They will both love you even more for it.
2007-12-04 03:27:53 · answer #3 · answered by Pal 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Cut the cord. It's time for him to grow up and start living his life. Your husband is correct. You have done your job and have molded him into a good kid, let him go/grow.
2007-12-04 03:20:03 · answer #4 · answered by blizebliz 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i'm so sorry for your pain. there's nothing you can do. put on a brave front and let him spread his wings. you'll be surprised at how your life will change, and it will be positive.
2007-12-04 03:20:36 · answer #5 · answered by (!)listen 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋