Picture it. We're at a restaurant with some friends. They are more my husband's friends than mine. We have finished the meal and have the checks in hand. The server has stopped serving us water or coffee. Gently and out-of-sight, I tap my husband's knee, as an indication it is time to go. He does nothing, so a few minutes later, I say "Are we ready to leave?" Later, not in front of our friends, he excuses me of being rude and trying to rush our lunch. I tell him that lunch was over and it is common courtesy to leave soon after you get the checks so the restaurant can fill the table with other patrons. What do you think?
2007-12-04 03:06:40 · 15 answers · asked by your_dear_old_mother 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Your finesse was off. I bet you tapped him on the knee right in the middle of his saying somthing. I think you made your point but try some finesse the next time. Tapping a man's knee seems discrete but the female psyche consistently fails to comprehend how unable a man is to multitask. So if he is talking at the same time you tap his knee, it lacks finesse on your part. You lost the battle and won the war because you are right about restaurant etiquette. (did you leave a good tip to compensate for his faux pas?) REmember this time of year has high tension in relationships and January is the busiest time of year for divorce lawyers.
2007-12-04 03:20:04 · answer #1 · answered by Wisdom Seeker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your husband sincerely thought you were being rude, but that you were trying to handle a difficult situation in a tactful way. Perhaps it would be a good idea to discuss with your husband your feelings about tying up a table during the lunch rush. Maybe you can suggest an alternative to ending such a pleasant gathering, like heading out to the local Starbucks for coffee. (I suspect that they are used to people lingering over their lattes.) Let him know that you didn't mean to be rude, or to cut the lunch date short, but you are deeply uncomfortable with tying up a table after the meal is done. Generally speaking, a server bringing you the bill, especially if it wasn't called for by someone at the table, is an indication that they want you to move on. (My daughter in law is a waitress, so I know these things.)
2007-12-04 03:19:23 · answer #2 · answered by Rebeckah 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on if the conversation was still going strong...if so, he and his friends might have felt rushed and he may have felt as though you were being rude. If you were all just staring at each other (ugh, I hate when people just sit there looking at each other) then you probably did the friends a favor.
Either way, I don't personally think you were being rude. I hate taking up space in a restaurant when there are people waiting for a table!
2007-12-04 03:16:00 · answer #3 · answered by chilliemurphy 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you were more interested in getting out of there than partaking in your husbands conversation. I can kinda see both points but as a man let me say this. Your husband was apparently disturbed by you rushing his conversation and you followed it up by trying to teach him common courtesy. At this point he doesn't care about common courtesy, his wife just interrupted his conversation. The whole courtesy thing sounds like a excuse to leave. Hey you paid your money just like anyone else in the resturant. You could have ordered coffe or moved to the bar.
2007-12-04 03:36:52 · answer #4 · answered by AntG 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were both wrong. You nagged him about leaving and he wasn't ready to go. Just because the check has been delivered and the server stopped serving you, doesn't mean you have to leave right away. He shouldn't have accused you, rather asked you why you were being so "rushed", instead. Patience is a virtue. True statement.
2007-12-04 04:58:05 · answer #5 · answered by Mr. Len 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were a little rude. You were trying to stop your husband from having his fun while his friends were there. It is common courtesy to leave soon after you get your checks, but it is extremely rude to try and make someone else leave against their will, whether it is common courtesy to leave or not.
2007-12-04 03:29:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think your intention was to be rude, but I think what happened is your husband was having a really good time with his friend and didn't want to go. You don't always have to leave after the cheque, but you're right, it is common courtesy to do so. In the future, perhaps set a time with your husband beforehand so when it's time to leave, it was already pre-discussed. For example, agree to leave shortly after the cheque.
2007-12-04 03:36:06 · answer #7 · answered by Melissa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wonder why it was up to you to make this right? If your hubby wanted to continue to chat with his friends, he could have said 'let's adjourn to the (bar, local coffee shop, etc) and let some other hungry people have this table.' Or here was a chance to say - when can we get together again? Even if it was rude or not rude, that doesn't mean the whole situation was out of his control.
2007-12-04 04:15:34 · answer #8 · answered by Chatty GIrl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were rude to take your husband away from "his" (your word not mine) friends - in a rather brusque way, I might add.
Your husband was rude for not making you more involved in the conversation. He sounds thoughtless to me.
Your waitress was rude to stop serving water/coffee - she was looking to get rid of you so she could boost her tips.
Sounds like you two should be a little more sensitive to each others feelings
2007-12-04 03:52:34 · answer #9 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When it is lunch hour or dinner or busy times it is common courtesy you leave once you have ate and enjoyed lunch. I mean when I 'm the person waiting I want to be seated so when their is people standing they want to be seated also you weren't rude and if that chat wanted to continue go sit at like a ice cream shop or something like that.
2007-12-04 03:11:56 · answer #10 · answered by Mariana M 4 · 6⤊ 0⤋