I feel really lost in life?

Question

Hate the thought of feeling sorry for myself & find it near impossible to tell others how I feel so I'm going to write on here.I'm 24 FM, used to model, used to be addicted to cocaine, used to have an eating disorder & have been in two bad relationships. I am now with a guy I used to think loved me for me & thought he & I would make an excellent team but now I just feel hurt all the time & cry as I write this!I don't like myself much mainly for all the wrong decisions I've made in the past. My bf often reminds me of these things when we argue & I probably deserve it but I would love to beable to love myself again.I hate feeling so bad, I feel bad for all the people I've hurt & always feel v bad when my bf ~& I argue for hurting him.He makes me feel (not on purpose) so insecue by saying about other girls being hot, telling me I've made plenty of mistakes and asking me to kiss his gf when he's drunk.He's real popular & I think maybe I should just try get along & bow down.

Answer 1

You have 2 problems here.
1. Your past. This is not so hard to deal with. It is in the past who you are in the future is determined by what you do today. So if you are not a substance abuser and if you eat well, that stuff is over. Forget it and move on.
2. You have a toxic boyfriend. He is keeping you down. The things he does to you are very bad for you. The problem here is that you sound like an addictive person, so it will be hard for you to get rid of him and get a quality person. Tell yourself that the new you deserves a quality person and this jerk is not it.
Good luck.

Answer 2

Happiness is and "inside" job. Whenever we try to gain happiness through outside sources, we often run into troubles. Which is why cocaine doesn't work, the "boyfriend" doesn't work, being "pretty" doesn't work, being slim doesn't work.

You have a multitude of issues and I strongly encourage you to enlist the aid of a good therapist. If you don't like the first one that comes along, keep trying until you find one that is a good "fit". However, do not "fire" them simply because you don't like what they say, if they hold basically the same values as you, you should be off to a good start.

Also, how long ago were you addicted to cocaine? Did you go to treatment for this? How long has it actually been since you did cocaine?

I ask because cocaine "withdraw" often causes major life-threatening depression. It takes about 2 years of abstinence before the brain can keep up with the supply and the demand of dopamine.. (Dopamine is released in massive quantities when you use cocaine, which quickly depletes the amount manufactured and stored in the brain.) Until the brain is functioning at peak capacity, you can expect to experience deep pockets of depression.

Some things that help in the manufacturing process of the "feel good" chemicals in the brain are chocolate, exercise, sexual release and laughter. Incorporate a little of these in your daily routine and in no time you will be feeling a little bit better. Seeing the therapist will take you the rest of the journey through recovery with the end result of a baseline of happiness.


Vanilla ice cream also helps a bit with cocaine cravings.

Good luck.

Peace.

Answer 3

Sounds to me that you are on the right track because you've kicked the cocaine use and you're dealing with the eating disorder. Have some faith in yourself. Everyone makes mistakes. That's how we learn. The idea is that we LEARN from our mistakes so as not to repeat them again. I'm 56 years old and I still make mistakes. I just don't make serious mistakes and that comes from time and experience. Like they say: "With age comes wisdom". At 24, you're still a young person and you have a lot of living to do.
If your b/f makes you cry all the time, then there's a problem going on and it doesn't mean that the problem is caused by you. If he belittles you and puts you down because of something that has happened in the past, he's just not worth being with. If he makes you unhappy, get away from him. There's plenty more guys out there that can make your life enjoyable and give you a reason to be happy. If he's saying that other girls are "hot", then he's disrespecting you and he's also "looking elsewhere" if you know what I mean. There's no reason at all to stay in an abusive relationship. It's time to stand up and take charge of your life. No one will do it for you.
What are your goals in life? What do you want to accomplish? Take a piece of paper and write down your goals. Tape it up somewhere where you'll have to look at it every day. It'll be there to remind you of what YOU want in life and not what others want or expect you to be.
And one more thing...You should "bow down" to NO ONE!!!

Answer 4

Everyone feels lost and confused at some point, but lucky for you.. you're realizing that you aren't happy with things early on. Be happy about that! Although, its never too late to start over.. But it's nice if you can figure it out sooner. Take some time to seriously think about what you want in life, and then ask yourself why you're not going after those things.. Whatever is holding you back, is it really worth it? I'm really young myself.. I'm about to turn 21. But lucky for me, I figured out what I wanted to do with my life early on. I had absolutely no support from anyone, and now I'm successful.. doing what I love, and making a decent living. The point is, if I had given up on my own hopes and dreams and pursued what others thought was best for me, I would be miserable too. You've got to decide for yourself, and stick to it! Don't let anyone tell you that there are stars that can't be reached, or mountains that can't be climbed. The only thing in the way of happiness is you. Best of luck, I really hope you find what you're looking for :)

Answer 5

The following quotation describes what love really is. Although we may not presently live the way it describes, we keep trying, because we have a spirit that can stand through the roughest storms. "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." [1] (1 Cor 13 4-8) Get out of the messy relationship because you are valuable and precious, wonderfully made and of great worth. Anyone that doesn't realize that should not have the privilege of being your friend.

Do not let anyone tell or make you feel otherwise. You might have made mistakes in the past, but you have moved on, "today is a gift, that is why it's called the present" (Anonymous). So my dear, use this gift to ensure you have a wonderful tomorrow.

Rom. 8:1 says you should not feel condemned, because God does not condemn you, you may have memories of your past, but you are free from them [2]. You certainly do not need a popular guy to feel valuable, you have what it takes to succeed.

Answer 6

Try to get along and bow down? What? You didn't really mean that. Who cares if he's popular; if he makes you feel like s**t then it's time to say goodbye.
You need to learn to love yourself again. First off, please keep in mind that everyone makes mistakes. Realise that the past is the past, there isn't anything you can do to change it. All anyone can ever do is learn from their mistakes and move on. If your bf is making you feel terrible about yourself, honey, he doesn't really love you. Sounds like he is with you because he knows he can control you and put you down. Someday, maybe next week, next year, or years from now, you will realise that he is a toxic individual who only served to make your life miserable. If you get out now, you won't become a bitter and angry old woman.
We all sometimes feel lost in life. You're not alone. Just sit him down and tell him you're through with this relationship. If he gets angry, leave. If he pleads, stop listening. If he starts throwing insults, know that you've only scared him and that he will get over it. Then, if you feel you need to work on some past issues, think about talking to a therapist.
A better day will come.

Answer 7

The best answer here is to let him go, however, no one ever does that, at least not at first. You obviously are asking us because you cant talk to anyone close to you about it, that tells me you dont intend to get rid of him, or you wouldnt care how people would perceive him after you make a choice. The only thing i would suggest is counseling, and ask him to go as well, if he will not go, then i dont really think he has your best interest or you as a couples best interest in mind. This is always an individual decision to break it off....you are only 24, you have a lifetime ahead of you, i hope you decide to live it well.

Answer 8

Don't go after him just because he's popular. Find someone that has good character, loving heart, good job, a head on his shoulders (not literally), and someone that would do anything for you. Since I'm a Christian I would say find someone who is a Christian because they would love you with all their heart. But, the thing about not liking yourself, I have felt that way sometimes. I haven't made many wrong decisions, but I do know you'll have to live with it. You can't change the past. Just go on, clear your history (stay clear away from those things) and don't go from guy to guy. Find the one good one that wants to stay with you and spend the rest of his life with you. Always remember, no one is ugly. If someone were ugly that would mean that God made a mistakes but God can't make mistakes so you and everyone else is very pretty. It's all in the eye of the beholder. What really defines pretty? Our looks will change, but who we are inside will usually stay the same, so who you are inside is what really matters. And a good guy will understand that and take you for who you are. Hope that helps. You can e-mail me for more info.

Answer 9

First off lose the guy you are with. If he is always bringing up your past and rubbing it in your face it will make it that much harder for you to move on. This is as overused a term as there is, but you need to forgive yourself for your past actions. If it helps try volunteering, try giving back and doing something good to help give yourself something to be proud of that you have done recently. Accept that the past happened and that you can't help what you did, but realize that you have the ability to not repeat past mistakes and to make new better decisions. You will be okay, just take stock of life and decide what in it is important and what isn't.

Answer 10

Bow-down to know one. The pass is the pass if you keep it in the pass. Rehashing makes it present. Think about who you are and who want to be and work on that. Once you realize what you want to accomplish, and start working towards that, you'll feel better and plz don't use drugs or start starving yourself. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. If you were a model, you must be beautiful and beauty is only skin deep. Dig deep, bring out the inner beauty and let that jerk go!