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This guy is an idiot My granddaughter is smarter then he is and she's only four Half of my family can't even stay in the same room with him.Keeping my mouth shut is not going to happen and yes my daughter knows how I feel.

2007-12-04 02:16:41 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture Etiquette

15 answers

walk out of the room when you feel something is going to happen..

2007-12-08 00:50:37 · answer #1 · answered by Felix 7 · 0 0

Gosh that is a hard one. I have 8 kids and 6 of them are girls. They are forever dating someone that I have a tough time with, but like any Mother, I feel that no one is good enough for my Angels.
You had mentioned that he is an idiot. Does he have an actual mental disorder? I have been through that one, too.
If he does, it may possibly spell out trouble in the future.
I have noticed, with my daughters, that if they think I disapprove of someone, that is the one they decide to date the longest. Ergh, how frustrating. All of my kids, however, do not allow anyone to disrespect me and more than one beau has gone by the wayside because of it. If someone disrespects your Mom, they will you, eventually.
I do NOT feel it is none of your business. You spent years raising this child. You do not devote that many years of your life to someone, for things to be none of your business.
I do feel, though, that the more you say, the less likely she is to break it off with him
Trust your daughter, even if you do not trust her fiance. Trust in the fact that she was raised proeprly and if he is a bad choice, she will see it. If you disrespect her by treating the guy poorly, expect the same disrespect in return.
The Christmas season is here, imagine how you would feel if you were in someone's home and they treated you poorly. Approach things with love and understanding, if possible. Remember that idiots deserve love, too!

2007-12-04 02:35:52 · answer #2 · answered by bigbootyhootchie 2 · 3 0

Sounds like you are even more of an idiot than he is if you can't control your mouth like an adult and if you can't respect your adult daughter and her fiance. As an ADULT, you have an obligation to keep your mouth shut. You DO NOT have an obligation to invite him over, buy him presents, pay for their wedding if you don't approve, speak to him, etc... You DO have an obligation not to bad mouth him to the entire family, to respect your daughter's boundaries (i.e., if your daughter tells you that she doesn't want you to badmouth him to her then you cannot do it), etc.... Just remember, eventually you may suffer the consequences of not being involved or being able to see your grandchildren if you keep up your hostility. AND your future son in law would be well within his rights as a husband to discourage his wife from speaking to you and to discourage and/or prevent you from seeing your grandchildren that they have custody of.

2016-04-07 07:47:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Realize that your daughter has made her choice - perhaps an intelligent or cultured mate isn't necessary to her happiness - maybe he's kind and loving to her, and that's all she cares about.
Talk with your daughter and let her know that you're concerned about her long-term happiness. If she sincerely believes that this guy can make her happy and she doesn't feel like she's settling, then you will just have to accept it, and try to bear this guy as best you can. Try to find something you can connect with him on, and keep your interaction to a polite minimum.

2007-12-04 04:11:27 · answer #4 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 0 0

Practice the saying, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." You don't have to be married to him, she does. He doesn't have to be the shinest apple in the barrel to be kind, hard-working, loyal and loving to your daughter. Just remember, the more you put him down, the more she will feel it necessary to defend him.

As long as he's not doing anything immoral or illegal, stay out of it. If he is abusive or engaging in illegal or dangerous activities, then voice your concerns to your daughter as concerns for HER, not concerns about HIM. But only once. After that, you've had your say, and it's up to her.

2007-12-04 07:29:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

if you dont want to loose your daughter also, then you need to get past whatever the reason is that you do not like him. because the more you complain and tell her that you hate and dislike him the farther that you will push her out of your life. make a mends with the gentlemen and take him into your family. if your daughter loves him, then so can you. and if you cant then so what , its not your right to judge him it was your daughters. but if you want to keep her in your life you need to change.

2007-12-04 02:26:50 · answer #6 · answered by butter b 2 · 2 0

At this point, telling your daughter how much you dislike her future husband is only going to estrange you from her, which I'm sure you don't want to do. Keep your mouth shut, and support your daughter as much as possible. Keep praying!

2007-12-04 12:43:45 · answer #7 · answered by drshorty 7 · 0 0

Well, I can only tell you from experience. My mother and family absolutely hate my boyfriend.

One really important thing to remember: you can put him down, but don't put her down with him. Example. You can say, "I really don't like this guy, I think he's rude." You can't say. "I think this guy is rude and you're a fool for staying with him." That will only make her feel insulted (which is exactly what that statement is) and drive her away.

2007-12-04 04:19:31 · answer #8 · answered by Highly Evolved 3 · 0 0

If you really love your daughter and don't want to lose her, you had best keep your mouth shut and treat him right. If no, when she goes, you won't see her anymore, and think of how that will feel!!!

2007-12-04 09:22:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Tell your daughter the truth. That you love her and this is not the man you would have picked for her. That you are happy that she is happy and you are going to do everything in your power to be polite to this man. And that if you become negative or down right nasty, could she please remind you that she loves him and you are hurting her by being rude to him. That way you don't make any promises to love him, but you promise to love your daughter enough to be honest with her, but still respect her choices!!

2007-12-04 02:27:04 · answer #10 · answered by Emily E 6 · 5 0

Is it your perception of his IQ you dont like or him? He must have some nice qualities or your daughter wouldnt love him. Idiot is rather vague ..In what way is he an idiot? Unless he actualy does idiotic things i would say judging him on his voice, interests or lack of Knolledge about your likes and dislikes is rather judgemental of you. and perhaps not very intelligent.
If he is in fact harmful in some idiotic way perhaps you could confront him about it and give him the chance to redeem himself.

2007-12-04 03:12:58 · answer #11 · answered by Patricia 3 · 0 1

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