I feel really bad...?

Question

I'm 30. I've been off work for 10 weeks now with severe depression since having an unwanted abortion.

I feel guilty. I feel as though I'm never going to be how I was again. The only things that keep me from suicide are my 2 beautiful girls and my supportive family but I feel that they are getting fed up of me too.

I started cutting myself about 4 weeks ago But now I always want to do it

I had an abortion due to health reasons.

Answer 1

First of all I am very sorry for your lost may peace and happiness fill your heart and family once again. Everything happens for a reason. It is hard when you don't want something to happen and it does. You need to seek the help of a professional help other then your family even though they are giving you good support. They can support you through counseling. Please call a professional and get More support through this tough time for you.

Answer 2

Well, I understand you had committed a serious mistake.You suffer from inner guilt, which is natural for a woman of substance.I don't think you went for the abortion without having consent of your husband or family members.
That's over now.What's the use of dwelling in the past , more so when you know you can't undo it.You are lucky that your family is supportive.Hardly you find any such supportive family.
Don't indulge in doing anything worse than that.Think of beautiful 2 kids you have.If you feel depressed and if you do the same (cutting, I mean) , you will mentally torture your 2 children and other members of your family as well, which is another serious crime.
I don't advise you to consult a psychiatrist or a priest. I know you are a woman with a sound head over your shoulders.You are also aware of your responsibility.
Try to erase from your mind this Act of the past, which is over , although , not a happy one.mistakes of various types are committed by peolple of any age group.But, life doesn't stop there.
Good thing is that you realise you did a crime and repent for this. God will forgive you and give you comfort.Make it a habit to pray and go to Church more regularly.Don't dicuss this matter anymore with anyone.It's a thing of the past.
Life will take its proper shape; after all time is the best healer.It may be much better than before.You have become more mature now than ever before.
Think positive and don't allow negative thoughts to overwhelm you.Read more books......if you are religious type and honestly believe that He does forgive us when we repent in true sense of the term , then I advise you to read the Holy Book and similar other religious books.
If not, you must find out ways and means for other diversions of life. Take children with or without family members and spend good time in different places. Visit friends and relatives more than ever before or invite them to your house and spend time with them .Your Children will feel better when others will visit your house with their children.They will change the atomsphere completely, both inside and outside of yours. You do need such get together more frequently. Don't take others into confidence to discuss or help you in this phase of your life which is basically an emotional and moral beak down at this moment. You are the best person to heal yourself at the earliest.
I shall pray for you.May God give you abundant courage and strength to overcome this.

God Bless

Answer 3

Please don't beat yourself up. Everyone messes up, but you have the control to turn your life around. You cannot undo what has been done but you can control from this day forward. Maybe try to temporarily get some antidepressants to get you through the rough time. Baby steps. There is no way that your family is fed up with you. I'm sure they are very worried though. I use to cut myself. The emotional pain was so bad that I would inflict physical pain to numb me. It's a dangerous addiction. I know it feels like you will never be the same but I assure you, you will. It might be hard at first but it will get easier and easier. You need to muster up strength for your children because they desperately need their mommy. Please pick up the phone, call your doctor, and set up an appointment to talk to someone. Please don't hurt yourself anymore. This comes from someone who has been there done that. My daughter died three years ago and I felt like my life was over. II have three beautiful children that keep me going. You will keep going to- believe that you are stronger than this. HUGS

Answer 4

Hi there, God, i dont know where to start here. Got tears in my eyes just reading your question. I had exactly the same thing happen to me last yr. Someone on here has posted something like ` how did you let this happen?` thats so easy for them to say, from a perspective of never being in this position themselves.

I was forced into the abortion by my boyfriend at the time. I wanted the baby but he didnt and foolishly i did what he wanted. It is the biggest single regret that i have and i believe i will never get over it. There isnt a day goes by that i dont ache for what ive lost, but i cant change what ive done (believe me, i wish with all my heart that i could) so i just have to live with it. Its taken me til this point (18 mnths later) to be able to get up every morning and not shed a tear.

In the beginning, every day was shear agony, thats the only way i can describe it, but i promise you, im a tiny little bit better every day. What ive gone thru will make me stronger and ive learned a lot about myself and others.

I now look at my daughter (she`s 9) and promise myself that i will never ever let anyone damage me like that again. Please look at your children, stand proud and get better for them. They have a fantastic mum, who obviously has a massive heart otherwise she wouldnt be in this state now. Your family know your suffering, ive put my family thru hell with all this and they prob are fed up with hearing it, but you know what, they love you dearly and they know how badly you need them. They wouldnt dream of turning their backs on you.

Got tears running down my face now, as im really reliving all my pain but i just want to help you with yours. Please just remember`whats done is done` it cant be undone but it can make you stronger if you just let it.

Now stop all this hurting yourself business, next time you feel like doing this grab hold of your children and give em a big cuddle cos you know what.... they`ll cuddle you right back. Its the best medicine there is. Good luck xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Answer 5

It sounds like you need someone to talk to. Ask your doctor to refer you to a counsellor, or see if there are any organisations in your area where you could see someone.
After the abortion, your hormones might be influencing your mood, and also other feelings such as guilt could be a result of it.
Cutting yourself is addictive and once you start it can get very severe and is very hard to stop - perhaps talk to your doctor about anti-depressants?

Answer 6

you have gotten some good answers, seek counseling, i definetely want you to to stop cutting yourself, I agree you are cutting your children and everytime you do it...you are losing a piece of yourself. Get some help sweetie. We all make bad decisions, and maybe the decision really wasn't a bad one. You have to find a way to deal and heal so you can be the mother that your girls deserve and need in life.

Answer 7

You will probably already know this, but I highly suggest you seek some type of counseling. For yourself, and your family. No one deserves to feel like that.

Also, I suggest talking to your family, explaining how you feel/whats going on with you. If you can't talk with them, maybe write a letter, or even keep a diary for yourself.

I hope this was some help...

Answer 8

Did you know when you cut yourself you its like you're cutting your girls?

Listen- You can't do it alone. Get some help. See a therapist.
The #1 argument for this is: I can't afford it.
Well, you can't afford not to!

You'll find your feelings are normal, that you aren't a bad person.
You can learn to cope, and get on with your life. For you, for your girls.

They deserve it.

Answer 9

You need to see a therapist (minister,psychologist etc) I would start with my family Dr. who could refer you to the proper therapist. It's normal to feel guilt after not wanting an abortion. You need to talk it out with someone that understands. I would request a female therapist for this.
GL

Answer 10

why did you have an abortion if you didnt want to?? you need to see a dr about this because your homones are completely off, kinda like you're having postpartum depression (which can lead moms to kill or kill themselves, so its serious).

you really need some antidepressants. i promise they will help. they wont be permanant, just to get you over all this stress.