Am I in the wrong?

Question

well my boyfriend and I have been fighting because his ex calls him at late hours of the night (1-3am) and i told him i don't really like that and he got upset and said "well she is just a friend. I always stay friends with my exes....and i am not going to turn my back on her" so I was ok with that, didn't really like it but I accepted it, but the thing i have a problem with is her calling at the times she does... so of course I'm going to tell him but all we do is fight about it because he doesn't understand where I am coming from... do you think I am in the wrong for getting upset about how late she is calling him and what not? what should I do? because he always sticks up for her... I am so confused.

Answer 1

I went through the same thing not to long ago. I was talking to my ex behind my girlfriends back. Still had feelings for the ex, and she did as well. I, unlike your boyfriend stopped once my current girlfriend found out. He should stop playing with fire, he's going to get burned, or he'll burn you.

Answer 2

YOU ARE NOT IN THE WRONG! Trust me. I hate to say this but I think your boyfriend may either still have feelings for this girl(I'm so sorry) or has honesty-in-relationship issues. If this girl was in need of advice or help or something important he would have honestly told you. If the reasons he gives you for her calls don't sound like they could be true, you may need to take a step back and see where your relationship really stands. If he really loves you he will come clean, tell you why she really called, if it's really important, and won't blow you off about her like he already has. I'm really sorry, but I've seen this situation before and the guys always end up cheating or leaving. I'm telling you this that way you can be prepared for what may happen to your heart.

Answer 3

I am friends with some of my ex's too, but I think that calling him at 1-3 in the morning is a bit suspicious, if not just inconsiderate. So I'd say you ahve a right to be upset.

Answer 4

No. I don't think you are. Why, does she call in the middle of the night when she knows he's with you? I can understand he wants them to remain friends, but the questions are,
1) Does he REALLY want to let her go?
If he did, than why is he allowing her to intrude in your relationship and cause disharmony?
2) Why does he choose to turn a blind eye at her behavior?
Sounds a little fishy to me.
I'm not the jealous and possessive type of person, but my instincts tell me to ditrust this behavior. Maybe if this continues, the two of you need to let things go. All this is doing is making you unhappy, and apparently he has someplace he can defianetly turn to, so he wouldn't exactly be alone...............

Answer 5

well if she is a ex like he says why is he only in contact with her in particuler.. how come his other "ex's" arnt calling the house.. im guessing that he still has some feeligns for her.. and does care about her.. and when ur gone he may even go back to her.. let him know that this relationship is about u and him not u him and his ex... you went out with him because you love him not his ex.. he should know that this is a new relatioship and he has to let go of any past feelings that he has for his ex because hes with you now.. if he still wants to talk to her then he shouldnt have a girlfriend.. he should be with her.. once hes aware of this he now has a choice u or her.. if he picks her hold ur head up high and walk away with your pride, dignity and self respect ... because u are worth so much more then to be 2nds to him and ur capable of far better.. if he chooses you u have to be the one to tell him that u dont talk to ur ex because ur over him (assuming u are over ur ex) ur ex is in your past and the only reason u would be calling him is because u have some feelings for ur ex... tell him that when u entered this relationship u entered it for him to pay all ur attention to him... not him and ur ex... once u let him aware of that maybe he will smarten up.. if his old ways come back into play then u may want to rething the relationship..

You have every right to be cofnused because this is not right.. him still talking to an ex.. like would it be any different if it was some girl he met on the street... no it would be suspicious... and u have every right to be suspicious about his ex too... has she moved on... is she the one calling him... if so then im guessing that she still has feelings for him and is hoping he will drop u for her... what hes doing definatly needs to be disccused (with him) and negoitated.. cause i would imagine how confused u would be.. kinda suspicious too of this whole "ex thing"...

anways,

good luck!

kesha..

Answer 6

She probably wants a booty call. Seriously. Why else do you call your exes at that hour? I'm guilty of doing that before I got into my current realtionship. I think you are right for being angry. I would be pissed. Next time she calls, YOU should answer the phone, and tell her to get her own man.

Answer 7

your not doing anything wrong ...seriously ..y the hell is she calling at those times ?? and something is definitely wrong with your boyfriend ...if shes only a friend y cant he just respect the fact that u don't like her calling him at those times ..its not like Ur telling him not to talk to her but the times she calls is pretty odd ...theres definitely more going on ...would your boyfriend not care if your exs were calling u at these time ? i don't think so .......if shes not that important to him anymore y wont he stop even after knowing how much it upsets u ...if he loved u ...hed stop allowing his ex to call at those times knowing that it upset u so much ...dump his sorry *** ...(im sorry im being so blunt but i dont see the point in sugar coating things..it'll save u alot of heartache ) good luck

Answer 8

It's his life. If this is waking you up nights, maybe you should think about doing your sleeping somewhere else. It won't last long...remember that you'll be a friendly EX of his soon...and then you can call him anythime! If he is still hung up on her enough to accept her rude behavior...he is not as caring of you as a BF should be. Good luck.

Answer 9

He's so wrong-not you. He shoudn't answer calls from his ex in the wee hours. How would he feel if you did the same for your ex or while you two were doing stuff. I'd tell him to stop it and treat you with respect or go be with his ex since he's treating her with more than you.

Answer 10

Straight to the chase
It's called backup and he's wrong for doing this. I never carry on with my ex, that relationship is over and what she does is none of my business. He should learn that if he can't give you his undivided attention then someone else will.