A man and his wife were sitting at a table at his high school reunion, and he kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table with a fixed grin.
The wife asked, "Do you know her?"
"Yes," he sighed, "She's my old girlfriend." I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since."
"My God!" says the wife, "Who would think a person
could go on celebrating that long?"
;-)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
2007-12-03 14:54:29 · 26 answers · asked by ? 7 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Ha! ha! Thanks ladies .. and of course to the men with a sense of humor.
Mikeejen ... The only thing lame around here is YOUR sense of humor. :-p
2007-12-03 15:15:00 · update #1
Matt and Proxymom ... too funny! Loved 'em!
2007-12-03 15:42:38 · update #2
Ah ha ha ha! I LOVE that song Chris. ;-)
2007-12-04 11:07:48 · update #3
GOOD ONE!!! Definitly one for my collection!! Cheergirls response about girlpower reminded me of this one. hope you like it!!
GIRL POWER!!
A woman went up to the bar in a quiet pub....
She gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her immediately. She seductively signaled that he should bring his face closer to hers. As he did, she gently caressed his full beard. "Are you the manager?" she asked, softly stroking his face with both hands. "Actually, no," he replied. "Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him,"she said, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair. "I'm afraid I can't," breathed the bartender. "Is there anything I can do?" "Yes. I need for you to give him a message," she continued, running her forefinger across the bartender's lip and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently."What should I tell him?" the bartender breathlessly managed to say.
"Tell him," she whispered, "there's no toilet paper,
hand soap, or paper towels in the ladies room."
2007-12-03 15:40:12 · answer #1 · answered by not giving up 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If the women does not sit at the table when dinner is served, then clearly there is a problem with the marriage and there is a good chance, that she sits at the counter for fear of being hit again or having something thrown at her or she sits there because it put her closer to the door, should she need to "exit, stage left" (get it). Another reason, maybe the husband is so controlling and is not use to having women or a woman in his presence while he eat. Most red necks display this type of behavior. This type of behavior is the same as when a man sit and watch television, then pass gas as if he's the only one there and if the wife Say's anything, she get smacked across the side of the head and dragged into the hallway and beat with the business end of a buggy whip or forced fed a set of leather knuckles.
2016-04-07 07:04:46 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's funny. That's a new one for me. Hey! I have one for you that's funny. Did you ever hear this one?
The new, young minister was being warned about one particular parishioner. The deacons told him that one young lady, a Ms. Green, came to services every Sunday, but she always wore revealing, form-fitting clothes. They'd never spoken to her about it because she tithed generously and regularly, but they wanted the new pastor to be aware that she'd look pretty shocking when she entered the church.
On Sunday morning, the new preacher was watching the worshipers enter, trying to spot the lady and not be alarmed by her appearance. Suddenly, a woman in a tight mini-skirt, fishnet hose, a low-cut satin blouse, and stiletto heels came walking in. He gaped at her for a moment as she sat in the front pew and crossed her legs.
He nudged one of the deacons and asked, "Is that the one? Is that Tootie Green?"
The deacon looked and said, "I don't think so. I believe it's just the way the light's shinin' on it."
2007-12-03 15:23:29 · answer #3 · answered by USAman 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Funny! 10!
2007-12-03 17:38:44 · answer #4 · answered by cats 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ahhh..reminds me of a song...You ain't much fun since I quit drinkin...♫
2007-12-04 08:43:34 · answer #5 · answered by chris j 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
HA! Yes, that was a funny one!
2007-12-04 02:11:40 · answer #6 · answered by Tony M 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's good. Is that a blonde joke? LOL
2007-12-03 18:20:26 · answer #7 · answered by Paulus 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, a well thought out joke...good one...keep it up.
2007-12-03 15:02:47 · answer #8 · answered by JP 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
good joke [ its a good way a wife should answer a bragging husband]!
2007-12-03 15:00:38 · answer #9 · answered by prs 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hahahhahaha priceless lollolollol
2007-12-03 16:14:24 · answer #10 · answered by kimba626 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋