Do you want to hear a great joke?

Question

Please pray for Bob,
>
> Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary.
> His wife was really angry
> She told him > "> Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in less than 6 seconds.
> AND IT BETTER BE THERE> "> The next morning Bob got up early and left
for work.
>
> When his wife woke up she looked out the window and sure enough there was
a gift-wrapped box in the middle of the driveway. Confuse, the wife put on
her robe and ran out to the driveway and brought the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
>
> Bob has been missing since Friday

Answer 1

Here's one back at you

We've all heard about people having guts or ballz. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition for each is listed below:



GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "Are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?"



BALLZ - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the balls to say: "You're next."

I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions. Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome since both ultimately result in death.

Answer 2

Hey Breezer - good one. Here's one for you!!!

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she lay
her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to
the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and
said, "I'm so sorry, your pet has passed away."
The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure? "Yes, I'm sure. The duck
is dead," he replied. "How can you be so sure", she protested. "I mean, you
haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or
something."
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned
a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner
looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws
on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom.
He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet
patted the dog and took it out and returned a few moments later with a
beautiful cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed the bird
from its beak to its tail and back again. The cat sat back on its haunches,
shook its head, meowed softly, jumped down and strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this
is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck." Then the vet turned to
his computer terminal, hit a few keys, and produced a bill, which he handed
to the woman.
The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried.
"$150 just to tell me my duck is dead?!!"
The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it the bill
would have been $20. But with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it all adds
up."

Answer 3

Very cute!!

Hey, I was thinking about you and how your christmas cards came out! I just got done making mine last night and now I have to address them all! Hope they are going well!
Goodluck!

Answer 4

That is a good joke. I needed that laugh.

Answer 5

hahhaa is good mane and i never hear smiting like that before
I think he love here

Answer 6

That was so funny I could just see a man doing something like that. (LOL)

Answer 7

Haha, I heard that one before, but it's still good.

Answer 8

bob cleaver t stay away int he

Answer 9

hehe Bob is pretty clever...too bad clever doesnt do much for ya if you are dead!

Answer 10

LMAO. It lived up to promo.