Im going bald does that make me ugly?

Question

Im a 29 year old guy and am just getting over a cannabis and alchohol addiction! Im single and feel ive wasted the best years of my life, been substance abusing since 16! I look in the mirror and i used to be real cute - good looking - i just look ugly to me now! Im balding and have bags under my eyes. Ive been chatting to this 20 year old girl at a drama club ive been going to for six months, we get on great and she tells me she is looking forn a new man! She looks so beautiful and sexy but ive had no kind of relationship for 6 years! I dont know if i could date her with all my baggage! I also wonder if she could fancy me - really compared to guys her age with hair! I used to be so good-looking! Its getting to a point where i think i should ask her out - would i look like her dad?!! Or am i just making excuses because im afraid? Any advice would be much appreciated and i dont want to upset her in any way! I would love to have a girl like her, does she really want an older guy? HELP!!

Answer 1

I know several bald men who are really good looking. No! being bald doesn't make one ugly.

What destroy our faces are the negative emotions, feelings and experiences we can't let go. Let go of all these burdens, learn the lesson and forget about it. Anticipate the future with gladness and joyful expectation; our faces will automatically show and become very attractive.

Let this be your guiding motto: Nothing can destroy this day, nothing can make me unhappy today.

Younger female most of the time are attracted with older men who exudes confidence. The mere fact that she's talking to you means she likes you somehow.

Answer 2

My advice is if you are going bald shave your head!!!! Baldness is supposed to be a sign of virility!!

With regards your recovery, well done!! Be careful not to jump into a relationship too quickly though, perhaps keep this girl as a friend for now and see what develops. You sound like a nice guy to me and now that you have turned your life around you should give yourself a big pat on the back. The more you look after yourself now the more you can reverse some of the damage your addiction may have done to your looks and indeed your confidence.

Look after yourself, eat well, exercise and get lots of sleep. Take care.x

Answer 3

First of all, congratulations on kicking your cannabis and alcohol addiction!! It's too bad that you feel that you wasted the better years of your life and that you used to look much better. It sounds like you are dwelling on the past alot. But since you were able to kick your addiction, you should feel proud and have a more hopeful and positive outlook on life. One that is about advancing in the future, not looking back.

Balding a bit and bags under eyes is very normal. I'm sure you are not as unattractive as you describe and do remember that everyone has different tastes. Don't feel like the girl should not like you. In fact, embrace your looks (what can you do about it anyway?) and feel grateful that you have a beautiful girl in your life.

Don't show your insecurities to the girl. A woman likes a confident man. Even if you don't feel at your prime, hold your head up high and be proud of what you've accomplished. After all, if you were young and attractive but were still under your addictions, I'm sure she wouldn't be interested in you. Put it in perspective. You are in a much better place now.

Answer 4

you are making excuses
plain and simple

she already knows what you look like LOL, and we girls dont care whether you are bald or not, the big no no for a girl and a guys hair is when you try to hide it-ie combovers etc, we HATE that and it looks plain stupid, but bald, balding etc, doesnt register,
you are using this as an excuse, you have battled addictions, and overcome them, at a cost to your self esteem, you have come a long and difficult road and should recognise the accomplishments you have made rather than focus on the negatives that got you there, baggage? we all have it, its just different baggage,
all the signs she has given you are great, just chill out, and go with the flow, let your friendship/relationship take its course, you think its approaching time to ask her out? she is probably waiting, and wondering if her own "baggage" is putting YOU off,
take it easy, but ask her out, lifes to short, and you have come this far,
well done you
and good luck to you

Answer 5

I don't know your physical appearance but build from the inside and the outside doesn't matter as much. If you are worried about going bald do a Bruce Willis and shave it off and no one will even notice anything past the first week. Then when you grow it back everyone will be wow he has hair.

Answer 6

well first off I just have to have a lil laugh at your title lol. the way you put it was a lil funny. BUT this may sound like some corny thing but yeah. People think different of other people. its really hard to find someone that likes you FIRST for who you are but they are out there. and you will never know till you try. but its no reason to get you down. older people have more exp ;). you will be surprized by some answers if you go up to her and just see if she wants to hang out somewhere just to get the conversations out of the class if you havnt yet. then work your way from there. I myself never look at someone by there looks, their actions tell alot more. and take it as a unique difference compared to others. try something spunky with it and act like its nothing. and try not to talk about it much might help. not sure if anyone would like someone who talked all about their hair or something else. be cheerful that it isnt something worse! something like that isnt going to change someones mind if they like you alot :)

Answer 7

If there is any small part of you that thinks she could want an older guy, then throw your bald self into the mess.
Once you fall for a guy you see them differently. You have to keep that in mind with women. Most women aren't as visually demanding as men about their partners. (Hence all the skinny women with guys with guts.)
Leave your baggage at the door. She doesn't want to hear about your ex.

Answer 8

You look fine with the hair. Bald people are scary. And you look fine to me and not ugly. Think positive and get on with life. Good Luck

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Answer 9

I'm a bloke and not gay but no I don't think being bald automatically makes someone ugly! Look at bruce willis! It's a lot more about how you feel inside and he vibes you give off. Be confident in yourself and think of yourself as that bloke you were then you were younger. It may help

Answer 10

She'll love you 'cos you've made an effort to help yourself. What matters is the now, and the future. Although you may think that you've wasted your best years, I think now is your best time 'cos you're free from the addiction. (: Even if she doesn't appreciate you, I will!