well i have know this guy for nearly two yrs now. the thing is we where friends at 1st but i use to hide my feelings for him, so we use to talk then we wouldnt. Since this yr from about 4months now we are really getting to know each other because i really see that he not only likes but loves me now as 'HE' might call it. Im kinda having feeling for him now but the thing is i dont want to get hurt. couple days ago he told me that he wants to sex me b4 the end of the yr and im like we are just really getting to know each other that much and u want that already, not even a yr in the realtionship are more but hes thinking about sex already. I dont plan on giving him nothing until perhaps my 18th birthday which is may. the thing is im still a vergin an when i lose that precious gift that person who gets it is suppose to be my husband, He said he aint forcing me into nothing he just wants to know that im his an hes mine, he say theres something about me that changes him what am i to do?
2007-11-29 19:28:15 · 47 answers · asked by oney 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
hun its up to u and no one els. if he does love u then he will respect that. he is in the wrong for trying to set a deadline one ur virginity.
2007-11-29 19:34:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, your question is a little confusing, but this doesn't sound like a relationship you really even want to be in. The guy sounds like he's trying to spin a line to have sex with you, and it's manipulative. I don't believe that sex is something you should only give to your husband, because what if you turn out to be totally incompatible together? Sex can destroy a relationship if it's terrible. However, losing your virginity to a man that isn't right for you is also a horrible experience. I was about 14 when I lost my virginity, and it screwed me up totally. Sex does not equal him being yours and you being his, it's just a function, and as fun it can be, it can also mess with your head if it's not right.
The best advice I can give is to tell him that you're not going to promise him anything regarding sex, if he can't deal with that, he's an idiot anyway and you don't need him.
2007-11-29 19:39:37 · answer #2 · answered by sab01_1999 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Being that I myself am a man, I can honestly say that most guys will say anything to get into a womans pants, especially things like "If you really loved me you'd do this".
So, here's what you do. . . call his bluff.
If he says he isn't pushing you, then don't even give it a second thought. Just continue getting to know one another and take your time. Most girls these days would have sex with a guy within the first few days/weeks, so having sex with someone quickly doesn't show anything. The fact that you want to take the time to get to know him, that should mean a lot more.
Now, if you honestly feel ready to have a sexual relationship, go right ahead, but you have to feel 100% okay about it, and it's very important that you make sure you want it for your sake, not just his. If the only reason you'd have sex is to prove something to him, or to make him happy, then that' not a good enough reason. If he really cares about, he should be kind enough to wait until you're ready, and happy enough just getting to know you.
Besides, it's not like you're your ancient, you're still a teen, you have lots of time yet to have sex. There's no need to rush it.
2007-11-29 19:38:01 · answer #3 · answered by neonshadowwarrior 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You do what you are comfortable with & nothing more...I don't mean to be rude, but i think going into a marriage a virgin can be a mistake sometimes because somewhere along the line, that person may get curious about sex with someone other than the ONLY person they have ever been with...also I think that the romantic idea of losing ones virginity can be a bit unrealistic...sometimes its good to be experienced so when you & "The One" will be more open about what you want etc...but the main thing is here that you do it when YOU are ready...
2007-11-29 19:37:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are so unsure, keep it! You said that you want to keep this precious gift for your husband on the one hand and then you are planning to give your virginity to your boyfriend when you turn 18th., isn't this a contradiction?
Never do anything that you are confused about, 5 minutes of pleasure can end up in a lifetime of regret! Think carefully - you have to make this decision on your own, not from any one of us out here, It's your "virginity" and you decide how important it is to you. Waht do your personal beliefs and religion as to say about this?
2007-11-29 21:15:33 · answer #5 · answered by Seng Kim T 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, a very interesting problem. My daughter faced the same problem a while back, she is 18 now. My advice to her then, and to you now is as follows.
Your virginity is a precious thing and is YOURS to do with as YOU wish. Boys, since the beginning of time have tried to pressurise girls into sex. Sadly in the vast majority of occasions, the boys will end the relationship shortly after achieving their goal. This is not done maliciously, its just the way boys are.
When YOU feel ready to surrender your virginity then do so, but please don't decide to do it just to make someone else happy. You are the important one here, not the boy!
I wish you the very best of luck
2007-11-29 19:42:20 · answer #6 · answered by hugh1e 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
pressure pressure, um from what i know reading your question, this is my opinion k, im thinking that this guy dont love you at all, he is telling you that he dont want to force you, but he is pressuring you to do so, if he loves you honestly, i think if you told him that you are not ready, he wouldnt bring it up or try to manipulate you, and you said he even asked to sex you up and you guys havent been in the relationship that long, and something about you changed him??? hmmm yeah thats something trying to get in your pants, juss dont give up your virginity for this guy if you are not certain, and i support you when you say you want to give it to someone that is suppose to be your husband, if this is whats in your mind then you should keep your virginity when you get married, i tell you it might be a long wait, but your future husband whoever he might be will cherish you for keeping your self only for him. well hey just an advice or opinion coming from someone who knows and been through it!! do take care and the best of luck in the future
2007-11-29 19:39:16 · answer #7 · answered by sweetness 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask him if a May wedding would be good for him.
Tell him your parents are thrilled about his wanting to be a new part of the family. Then see what his reaction is.
If he suddenly moves away, then you'll know that he is just for sex more than a long-term commitment.
Tell him that having sex isn't just for fun or to try out. Your family has been teaching you that you should save that precious gift for your husband. So what date would be good for his family to meet with yours?
Just wait and see his reaction. Don't be surprised if he changes his tune....
2007-11-29 19:38:58 · answer #8 · answered by Cid Young 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Just explain to him that you don't feel ready for that kind of commitment yet. And if he really loves you he will wait for you, at least until your 18th birthday. if you decide that you want to lose your virginity to him on or after that day it will mean more to you, and you would like it to be with the person who is going to be your husband. If he says that he doesn't want to wait, then he is not your Mr Right.
2007-11-29 21:04:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a most precious gift and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Stick to giving this wonderful gift to your husband! He wants to know if you are really his? Well, if you are then you've made the commitment to spend a life together. He might try to pressure you into it saying that if you really love him then you would give him you gift. Turn it back on him. Say if he really loves you he will give you the respect you desirves and wait until you are married!
2007-11-29 19:38:00 · answer #10 · answered by susan 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
WELL.. am 21 and i ones had a boyfriend that will always talk to me about sex and how he wanted to do me.... after that that's all he wanted ones i said no he left me... i dnt think if he really cared for u he would ask you for that this like that dnt get asked they just happen... u should really think about it cause that 1st time will change everything... it very important... so if ur not sure about it dnt do it.. if he really cares for u the way he says he does he will stay along and wait till u are... good luck and i wish u the best....
2007-11-29 19:36:07 · answer #11 · answered by NiChOLe 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋