Help please, male opinion preferred thanks!?

Question

I dated for 6 mo. a man I love deeply.In the beginning however I had a hard time to feel attracted to him. I'd been two years without a relationship and could'nt let go. He wanted to have sex often, I didn't and avoided situations that could lead to sex.So much so that we had very rarely sex The situation started to degrade to the point he could not make love to me anymore.I've my share of responsability, I have never initiated sex nor made him feel desirable.Yesterday he told me that he wanted to end our relationship, that he loves me more than he ever did anyone else, that we have great times together but that he doesn't feel attracted to me anymore (in the beginning he was mad about me), that just the thought of having to sleep with me makes him uneasy. He can't see a solution to that. I love him so much and was warming up to him lately but too late. I really love this man and know that we could be great together if I could recover my "sexual self" Can I try to have him back? how?

No, I used to love having sex, a lot. I have shut down for two years after a very bad break up and have a hard time to let it go again. Afraid of feeling too vulnerable I guess. I know I can enjoy sex with this man it is just a matter of taking out this terrible block I feel..

No, I used to love having sex, a lot. I have shut down for two years after a very bad break up and have a hard time to let it go again. Afraid of feeling too vulnerable I guess. I know I can enjoy sex with this man it is just a matter of taking out this terrible block I feel..

Answer 1

I will be very honest with you. Your actions are causing a stir in this guys head. The first emotion he feels is that he doesnt turn you on, and thats a huge, HUGE hit for any guy. Because he knows damn well there are guys out there who DO turn you on, and that makes him feel jealous. Jealousy mixed with rejection brings on a plethora of other emotions, and none of them keep you in good standing. He is under the impression he could lose you at any moment if a guy you are attracted to walks past you.
Guys dont understand women who dont want sex. Guys assume all women want sex as much as they do and if their woman isnt giving it to them, they are either giving it to someone else, or they are waiting on someone else to give it to.
You have to build up this guys pride because you have effectively shut it down. You have to compliment him on his appearance, and YES, you are going to have to do something of the sexual nature to get his sense of security built up.
Your lack of sexual appetite is probably normal, and genetic...but if you really love this guy, you are going to have to meet him halfway. Trust me....meeting him halfway will send him through the ballpark.

Answer 2

There's nothing wrong with not wanting to have sex. It was bound to become a problem from the beginning since he wanted and you didn't.

If it's only because of sex then I say let it go. He's not in love as much as he says if he can't have passionate love without the physicalness.

Answer 3

If the physical attraction isn't there, then it's just not going to work. No man would ever tell a woman that he felt "uneasy" about being with her sexually unless he TRULY meant it!

You can't make yourself be attracted to someone anymore than you can make someone love you or fall in love with you.

It's just one of those things that happens naturally.

It sounds to me that now that he's threatening to leave you, you want him more than ever... that's just a game the human mind plays. When we have something valuable, we tend to take it for granted. When we lose something that we took for granted, we want it back.

In your case, you didn't want him (physically) to begin with.

I think you two need to just move on to people you can actually be physical with & not feel like it's forced.

If you stay in this relationship out of convenience, you will never truly be happy or fulfilled physically.

Answer 4

Hey what do u mean recover your sexual self for real there you should neva have to do that is there a reason u dont' like it like does he not do it right is he too big down there too small or something. Just sayin like find the reason u don't like it n get back to me n i'll tell u what to do trust i'm great with most relationships.

Answer 5

You obviously love him deeply, and would whether you have sex or not. But he just as obviously doesn't share your feelings. He only wants sex. Accept that fact, and move on. And by "move on", I mean go ahead and let the break up happen. Do not hang your hopes on having more sex. If sex is what it takes to save your relationship, then it's not worth saving.

Answer 6

You could take a chance and go all out sexually ( I'm sure you know what he likes ) .
You might even go so far as to take him to a sex swing club and tell him he can roam or have you . At any rate you'll know if you have any chance within the week .

Answer 7

you could learn a thing or two on men magazine or with female friends that have already experience with men... sexual desire starts within... its the beast within you that sleeps or does not exist... for you... what do you fear? is it getting pregnant? there are ways to fix that... or is it something in your past that made you that way... like a bad experience or something like that...

to get him back might be too late but try your best to become friends and start openning up you might just realize the beauty of the beast that you have inside... good luck! ^_^

Answer 8

You taught him to not want you sexually. You trained him and made a habit of not having sex with him and making him feel undesireable. Now that he wants to find a woman who cares about his needs, you think you can change? Give it up. It's your fault.

Answer 9

It's your own fault. Your fear of sex made drove him away, now he doesn't want you. You shoulda just got therapy, I don't know why he would put up with that for so long.

Answer 10

if its just a sex thing let it go there is so much more to a relationship then sex