My sister killed and i got done for it?

Question

6 years ago in our town they was a fire in a stable.
A horse was killed and another one put to sleep the stable was destroyed and a motor home too.
At the time i liked playing with matches and was blamed for it.
I got sent away for two years,that summer my father died and the family said it was the stress i put on him and in effect i had as good has killed him.
I never lit that fire no one believed me.

My sister a week ago admitted to me it was her.
She did it because i was more popular then her with out nan this was the reason she gave and she knew i would be blamed.

My family still are not right with me i still get funny looks in the street 6 years on i lost 2 years off my life and my father died thinking i was a fire bug.

i do not know what to do and i feel numb.
my sister was 12 at the time and says she did not thing all what went on to me would of,like that makes it ok.

i feel nothing it is weird about her and what she told me is this right?

Answer 1

I think you've had such an emotional overload with this news that you've gone numb. It's shock. The feelings will express themselves at some point as the implications fully absorb within you. Right now, it's intellectually absorbed, and this "numbness" is part of the survival mechanism for people who have emotionally traumatic news.

All of you need some outside help (counseling) to come to terms with what happened. You have been living with an injustice and wrongful blame for 6 years, she has been carrying a lot of guilt during that time, and your family has suffered as well.

At least she has admitted doing it.

Perhaps a first step, as part of some kind of reparation, she would go to the police and admit it was her? That would clear your name. If she won't go, maybe you can?

Good luck x

Answer 2

First, she needs to come clean. Whether or not she faces criminal charges, what she did is an indication of serious disturbance. It won't give you those two years back, or let your dad know it wasn't you, but the truth needs to be told. You will feel better about it, and so will she. She'll just have to suck it up when people have contempt for her.

Second, the reason given is way odd, and another factor in seeking professional help. Since she was willing to let you take the rap, there is really a screw loose in there.


Nothing will erase what you have been through, but you can get through it. Sounds like the whole family could use some therapy.

Answer 3

I bet you do, but finally the truth will be out and you and your family can make amends. There will never be a good time to tell them this so I reckon the sooner the better. Then you will be able to move on a chapter in your life and grieve for your father properly, and make a fresh start you wont be able to get the two years back, but knowing that people are not going to blame you will help you move forward. I am a great believer in the truth always comes out in the end.. I don't know what will happen with you and your sister but in time you might be able to forgive her?

Answer 4

well you are in a bind and i do feel for you,i dont know how old you are but i presume you are still pretty young,but you seem to be very grown up about it,i know what you have been through,and how easy it would be to blame your sister and clear your name once and for all,but being only 12 at the time she must have been realy scared when the events of her actions unfolded and worsend,if you think you can forgive her and love and want her as your sister,then i think you should see a counciler jointly realy talk this thing out and both have a good cry and hopefully,it will end with you both hugging each other and becomming not only brother and sister,but best freinds,i dont think she was responsible for her actions at 12,but she does have to live with what she did for life,im not trying to undermine what you have been through.at the end of the day its up to you what you do,but would exposing her do you, her, or your family any good now,if there is a good way then use it for the good of all.irealy feel for u and hope everything goes well for you and your sister too.

Answer 5

I think that your going through shock right now out of what your sister told you,and what she did was absolutely wrong.I'm so sorry that you have lost so much because of a stupid cruel and jealous persons actions.I know that it will probably take a long time to come to terms with whats been told to you and what's been taken away from you as well.But you need to start healing,and it would probably be a good idea to get some counseling for all that you have went through.And in the future you need to get your sister to admit to your family what she has done,it will give you hopefully some peace of mind and closure.

Answer 6

Has SHE told the family it was her? I couldn't make that part out.

The reason you feel nothing is because you have already served the time for the crime. And no one believed in you, so I'm sure you are numb.

I'm sorry but even at the age of 12, she knew what she was doing and she knew you were paying for it.

It is time for her to stand up to everyone, if she won't then I'm sorry, go to the local news and let them know how you served time for being innocent.

Then get yourself into counseling and take that sorry sister of yours with you, she owes you, your family, your community an apology. And your deceased father.
I'm sorry to hear this has happened to you. I hope you do not carry this burden any longer than you have to so this is why I say please talk to a professional to help you get through this terribal act your sister has bestowed onto you.

Good luck to you but I'm glad for you it has finally come out, she obviously can't hold it in any longer.

Answer 7

Urgh, what to do???
I guess your sister was big enough to admit it to you and young enough at the time to be so stupid.
I think you need to discuss it with yourself first.
You have lived with it for 6 years, you'll never get those two back, and I think it is probably more on your mind than anyone elses.
If she had not admitted it, you would have to carry on the same.
Then you need to speak to your sister and tell her exactly what have been through in your head.
Would you want your sister to have to suffer the same?

I think she needs to do what is right, but may not want to.
And you need to decide if you are prepared to put it in the past.
Best of luck mate, I had a similar situation when I was young, only no one ever admitted to it. In general other people forget, life goes on, but there will always be someone willing to put you down for it.

Answer 8

Your family is right for thinking that it were you, for you gave them every reason. What is wrong is that fact that your sister knew all alone that she had done it.

As long as you know that you are innocent, move on with your life. My sister made sure that my mother died due to her personal greed. I hated her beyond measures for killing my mother. I hated her so much that I developed arthritis. I had to forgive my sister for my sake and move on with my life.

God knows the truth, and that is all that matter. Even if you family comes to the knowledge of the truth, you have already paid the price. Stop trying to convince them and move on. Family, friend, or foe, it really does not matter.

You have a lot of hate and bitterness from what has happened to you. If you are not careful, you will spend the rest of your life trying to right the wrong that has taken place. It is what it is, so move beyond it. Know that your sister cannot be trusted. What good is telling you when it is HER responisibility to clear your name. If they are still pointing the finger at you, she has not done her job well.

She got a great reward from your pain; that is demonic!!!!

Answer 9

With your sister being 12, she was very much aware of what she was doing, and that was a very stupid and irresponsible thing to do. The only thing that would turn the tables for you in your town would be if she made her confession public, she owes that to you. I'm so sorry about the situation with your father.
This is very tough stuff to handle and carry alone, so it would be helpful to see a counsellor or talk to someone you can trust.

Answer 10

She should have knew. I think it be best for her if the truth is out plus you where erongle eveicted and lost two years of your life, you have the right to ask for compsation from the state. If your sister can prove it was her. And somthings wrong with your sister if she was that jeliouse.