adult answers prefferably?

Question

what would you do if you found out your teenager had been drinking?
any situation really.. just girls (if you had a daughter), girls and boys, at your house, at a party. would you have different reactions?

i'm curious

Answer 1

Make them go to a driver's education class
works great, they are boring and punishing
and they show those videos of what drunken drivers do to their cars.
Go on myspace or youtube, find videos.
OR if you can or know somebody that lost a loved one, have them hear their story.
Otherwise, just try and tighten the grip and become more involved in where he is spending his time and how, and who with. You may save some other kids life, ya never know.
Start having some of his friends over and get to know them and their parents, find out who is the bad apple.

But I am a person who got around my mom when I was young. If your kid wants it bad enough, he is going to get it from somewhere. Try and offer a compromise, like if he is going to drink, then do it at home where you know he is safe. If anybody gets too wasted inform them that the rule is they stay at your house. If they break the rule, don't let them back over. Stuff like that. Don't try and push your kid away. You have to find a common ground. Ultimately, the goal should be to get them all interested in another way of having fun without drinking. Show them slowly that it is really not neccessary. But kids are going to experiment. Might as well be a controlled experiment.

Answer 2

Teenagers are curious and have no idea of the implications of drinking. Education is the best thing to do for them. Show the darkness of the people in the street that are there because of the addiction. Also give them this http://www.allaboutlifechallenges.org/alcohol-addiction.htm
http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/bhcv2/bhcarticles.nsf/pages/Alcohol_related_brain_damage?open
These webpages are filled with info on the documented implications of abuse. Teenage deaths related to alcohol are very high; there are more teens killed due to alcohol related causes weather accidents or overdose because of ignorance of their limitations; than any other cause. In Germany children are allowed to drink at an early age and when they become teens and adults they know their limitations and the effects well. Thus, they less likely to become addicted as we see in the streets each day here in the united states.
Good luck and try not to appear angry; only informative and dole out restrictions until they show a higher level of maturity and responsibility. They will respect you more in the long run. the also will be more apt to talk about other life issues that concern them. If you act angry they will be less apt to ask you anything they think they can get away with.

Answer 3

If it's just girls I might give her a lecture about the dangers of alchoholand maybe take away something for a week, maybe her phone. The punishment should be less if it is at your house, but she will still need a harsh enough lecture so that it doesn't happen again.
If there are boys involved, just tell her that she doesn't have to drink to impress guys and that she just shouldn't do anything stupid, but also include parts of the standard lecture for drinking. If she was drinking at a party, talk a lot about peer pressure and make sure she is hanging out with the right group of kids. Tell her that there is nothing wrong with just not taking the drink.
Talking is a great solution for a first offense, but if her drinking keeps coming up you should contact someone about it or increase the punishment.

Answer 4

For either of my children (boy or girl):
A three prong approach:

Consequences:
The consequences, which would be pretty harsh - no after school activities besides work, extra chores, extra homework for probably 2 - 6 months. So in other words, if they were on a sports team or in a play or anything of this nature it would be over for the rest of the school year. We would also have many talks about how alcohol can cause secondary issues, one example being leading to unprotected sex with the potential for diseases or pregnancies.

Homework / project
The extra homework would be something along the lines of:
arrange a visit with a hospital intensive care unit to talk to the doctors and nurses and see the result of drunk driving accident and alcohol poisoning. It would also include an in depth research and report on the effects, positive and negative of alcohol on the body, the current laws and regulations that pertain to their situation,
and what the worst case scenario would have been if they had been arrested including case studies, talking to people who have been there.

Volunteer
Some long term volunteer project either visiting and spending time with and time helping a person/family seriously injured in an accident involving alcohol.

I am all for a good time and relaxing with friends. I am not for teenagers drinking and breaking the law and endangering themselves and others.

Answer 5

I would be upset

at my house - REALLY UPSET because I am now liable

we had a Hallowe'en party when my son was a senior in high
school - and some kids crashed the party 'cause he was 'cool' - BUT - they brought Beer - and the kids already there - ran them off - Mom and I never knew it - I just found three beer cans in the front yard the next morning - and then they told me
Sorry dad - told them I was proud of them!
Should have seen the smiles!

had it gone the other way - Papa would have been on the Warpath and would have been holding Mama Bear back!
She would have grounded them till graduation.

all the best

Answer 6

If I had found out my teenager had been drinking I would do the same thing my father did to me when I came home drunk and got caught...HARD MANUAL LABOR THE NEXT DAY UP AT 6 AM SHARP!!!!

If I had a house party and my kids were there would I let them drink that all depends on the situation......I don't see the harm in a (older 17-18-19) teenager taking part in a champagne toast or having a glass of wine during a special family dinner....I remember growing up we use to get a small glass of wine on XMAS eve with our dinner....and once in awhile a sip of beer hear and there.......I WOULD NOT ALLOW MY KIDS TO HAVE THERE FRIENDS OVER AND PROVIDE BOOZE FOR THEM NO WAY NOR WOULD I ALLOW ANY ONE OF MY KIDS FRIENDS IN MY HOUSE IF THEY HAD ACHOLOL ON THEM AND IF I CAUGHT MY KIDS AND THEIR FRIENDS DRINKING IN MY HOUSE THE FRIENDS PARENTS WOULD BE CONTACTED TO COME AND REMOVE THEIR CHILD FROM MY HOUSE AND MY KID WOULD NOT SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY FOR A LONG LONG LONG TIME!!!

Answer 7

My reaction would be the same for either sex of my children. My kids are adults now and I did deal with them sneaking into the liquor cabinet as teenagers. I am lucky that all they did was tastinging in an experimental way. I lost a younger brother to drinking and driving when he was only 19.

Answer 8

Depends on the type of kid, age of the kid, circumstances of the drinking. Here's what I mean. Example A: 2 14 year old girls go home at lunch, get drunk and go back to school wasted... Example B: 18 year old boy has beers with his buddies on a sunday while watching football. There are a lot of different circumstances which can affect the proceedings here.

Answer 9

As long as they aren't under 16 or 17 it isn't that horrible, as long as you make it clear to be safe, stay in one location, and don't buy it or drink with them. Take away driving privilages if they are going to say a high school party. They are going to do it anyways no matter what and you can't control every waking second of their day. Be neutral and understanding but concerned and stern.

Answer 10

i have a 12 year old daughter and if i caught her drinking i would sit her down and talk with her and let her know what drinking can do to someone from a medical stand point if you try and hide the alcohol and come out rite and just fore bid your child to drink because all that's going to do is cause them to sneak around and do it behind your back