OK, there is this one guy who is my classmate and he's been really friendly to me. My boyfriend is very jealous and they had some arguments and things don't seem to be going in a good direction.
This guy told me he doesn't want anything with me and he said he explained that to my boyfriend, and as a matter of fact, I did that too, I told him we were just friends. But apparently my boyfriend doesn't feel that way and they seem to be about to fight. I just want to keep myself neutral and I don't want them to hurt each other. What should I do?
2007-11-29 15:38:45 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You gotta have your own life. Your bf cant choose your friends for you.
2007-11-29 15:41:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
The guy who told you he doesn't want anything with you is probably lying. He apparently is the type that gets an ego boost by making your boyfriend jealous and that is what he wants, not you but the ego boost. Your boyfriend on the other hand needs to get secure with himself and with the relationship.These kind of guys have been around since the beginning of time and they do it because they can and because you allow them to, it's hard to sluff off such friendly kindness that they impose on you. He probably has no interest in being kind to you except to make your boyfriend jealous. You should be able to sense that type of guy out for an ego boost and more or less ignore his friendly behavior towards you for your boyfriends sake and for the sake of the relationship and your boyfriend needs to get secure(possibly with your help) cause these things can just eat away at one in their mind even if you are innocent.. Or, if your boyfriends a real immature idiot, maybe now's the time to ditch him while you've got a good excuse.
2007-11-29 16:02:02 · answer #2 · answered by dutchess 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mayber there is something that this guy "friend" is doing that your boyfriend is picking up on. It's sad but sometimes guys that are posing as friends will say and do all the right things just so they can ruin your relationship. If your boyfriend is usually not a jealous guy, you should ask him why all of a sudden is he is being that way...and ask him specifically what your friend is doing that is upsetting him. Just telling him that you or the friend aren't interested in eachother is probably not enough. Hope this helps!
2007-11-29 15:44:02 · answer #3 · answered by sivdog21 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There's really nothing you CAN do. It's between them. Your boyfriend has already made up his mind that it's an issue. If you keep protesting overmuch, he will think you are just tring to protect the other guy. Don't get caught up in the jealousy game. The next time he confronts you about it, just say "I already told you how it is with my friend and me" and just don't get caught up in it. It's a no-win for you. If you protest and tell your BF you don't care about the other guy, he will just think you are hiding something.
BTW...for what it's worth, jealous guys are trouble ahead. You really don't need it. That's why you shouldn't have a hard time bailing out of the fight. Just don't get caught up in it. If your BF sees you staying around, he will or will not eventually wise up. Jealousy is VERY childish. Even in a 40-year-old man.
Just quit fighting about it and stay your course, be it with your boyfriend or someone else. Jealousy saps the energy and happiness out of every relationship it shows up in.
2007-11-29 15:45:10 · answer #4 · answered by tallcowboy0614 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's clear that you like the attention, as anyone would. But this is not a mature way to handle this situation. If you are committed to this relationship, then it is incumbent upon you to end this mess. Normally, I'd say that you just commit to stay away from him but that isn't really possible when you're in school together.
So, sit the two of them down and say clearly that you are committed to your boyfriend and do not want a relationship with the other young man. Then ask him to please limit his contact with you. If doing this in front of your boyfriend doesn't satisfy him and he continues to be jealous, you have a big problem, and you need to break up with him IMMEDIATELY. This kind of jealousy often leads to abusive behavior.
2007-11-29 15:45:10 · answer #5 · answered by Terri J 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well really in this situation its not your fault. Its your boyfriend. This is a trust problem. If he cant learn to trust you, tell him that you need someone that can trust you and if he cant be that person things arent going to work out. I used that line on my boyfriend and he hasnt accused me of anything in a year lol. Then after that you have to get all mushy on him and tell him how much u care about him and all that stuff. If he cant handle you having guy friends hes not a good boyfriend.
2007-11-29 15:43:46 · answer #6 · answered by lolaaaaachica 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
depends. how much do u like your boyfriend? how nice is this guy? if u love your boyfriend and can live w.o the other guy y not just let the other one go? y bug him and possibly make him fight another guy? but don't let your boyfriend control everyone you hang out with or u will def b in trouble. then again if u really like the other guy your bf will have to learn to deal. but r u really sure the other guys wants only friendship? just stay calm and think out your options. i hope all goes well!
2007-11-29 15:44:25 · answer #7 · answered by myloveiselectricx3 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Tell your boyfriend that he's being really stupid and needs to stop or you will break up with him. what, is your bf gonna fight every guy that talks to you? Thats how you get knocked the f*^K out. But in the boyfriends defense, he's only trying to protect you.
2007-11-29 15:42:30 · answer #8 · answered by Nick 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
If you really are "just friends" tell your boyfriend to stop being so insecure and you find it insulting if he doesn't trust your presence around another male
2007-11-29 15:43:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think your boyfriend is bad news...
his continued jealousy after both of you saying you are just friends shows that he doesn't trust you, and i know that would make me pretty angry.
Also, his anger is getting way out of hand if he's going to actually resort to violence to solve this supposed problem.
i vote you dump him ASAP
2007-11-29 15:45:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok, my advice would to try and talk to your boyfriend again, if he still doesn't understand, take a break and see how he reacts. Just be careful of his behaviour, jealousy can lead to more serious behaviour. Just make sure you read his body language carefully.
2007-11-29 15:44:23 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋