My little sister is adopted( doesnt know it) and has been living temporarly with my boyfriend and I being our dad is in iraq and mom is out of the country helping our sick grandma. Anyways at kindergarden the teacher tells us she is struggling and can barely count to 40 but when she comes home she can count to 200 and she is starting to sound out words and read. why does she act like she is not smart at school.
2007-11-29 15:01:37 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
I disagree with most answers here.
I believe the problem here is that humanity has not yet worked out a decent way to define "What's wrong" with people. And more importantly, that just behaving differently is not 'Wrong' at all.
I had a similar thing when I was about 7 - I wouldn't stand up and read in class - even though I could read perfectly well at home or out with my parents - I was an AVID reader, just not when others were defining how to do it. It was suggested by the school that I was dyslexic, I went to a clinic to see a child psychologist for some length of time where I read books, made lego models, played with various toys they had there and generally was made to feel safe, happy and at ease when I was there. Schools DO NOT make children happy and at ease.
Much of it was testing of course. I turned out to have a reading age of 11 when I was 7 (Or 8? - long time ago, can barely remember). The lego wasn't enough for me and I used lego technic instead and built monster vehicles and space ships.
They couldn't say what was 'Wrong', only that I CERTAINLY wasn't dyslexic at all.
I've had anxiety for much of my life. Looking back, I've had decisions made for me for most of it. I think I was 'Coddled' but not in an affectionate, familial way, in a panicked, paranoid and insulative way. This bred lack of confidence and barriers in me.
I think my parents were affected by my 'Condition'. I think they lost a certain amount of faith in me from the beginning - maybe 'Attention' is not the problem, it's showing confidence in your child - If she doesn't want to count above 40, so what! She has to believe in herself and ANY amount of extra attention will teach her:
1 - How to get attention
2 - Doing things on her own aren't important
Make her think for herself. If the asks you questions, don't just answer straight away without thinking, at the very least, make sure she realises that any person has to think before decisions and ideally ask her THE SAME WAY AS YOU WOULD ASK AN ADULT what she thinks. That way, you're setting an excellent example and breeding in 'Adult' decision making behaviour from the start.
She can count to 200 at 5 years old?! COOL! Don't make her question the 'Rightness' of that ability. She's obviously DECIDED not to count above 40 - otherwise she wouldn't know what number to stop at. Back her up! Afterall - school is not !NOT! where you get your best education!!!! EXPERIENCE is paramount (Ask an aged engineer, or any employer for that matter)
If you worry and question WHY she won't count above 40, she'll just say "I don't know" (Does she say that?). And you're making her think that her decision not to count above 40 is 'Wrong' in some way. It's HER decision what to reveal to others about herself.
I have made the most success of my life when I made my own decisions about what I wanted to do, without others questioning me. I now run my own business - but that didn't start until I had my own experience on which to base the decision about what business to start.
2007-11-29 16:49:00 · answer #1 · answered by iRant 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
By the end of year 1 (when they turn 6), they should know how to count to 100. If she can count to 200, then great! Maybe she has had to suppress it because no-one else can count to that number, and classes don't cater for it as they're busy dealing with how numbers work.
Otherwise, don't push her. If she's only in kindergarten then there's nothing to worry about. And some kids like to keep stuff to themselves. My daughter would die if anyone at school saw her Austin Powers dance!
2007-11-29 17:51:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
my little boy did the same thing - he can count well at home and knows all his colors and all that sort of thing - then when he went for his "Prep" school interview with the principal, she was really sweet and gave him pencils and paper - she asked him "pick out the orange pencil" so he chose a blue one - then she said to him "what color is that?" and he said "yellow - like Mommy's eyes" (I do have blue eyes....)
She also asked him to count the pencils for her and he just went "1, 2, 3, 6,11 etc." it was really strange as at home he is so confident and smart - but around other people where he doesn't feel comfortable he acts like this. little people deal with tricky situations in different ways to grown ups - just be sweet to her and kind and remember she probably misses mommy and daddy very much and this is just her way of dealing with it. i hope either mommy or daddy will be home for christmas? That may cheer her up.
2007-11-29 16:17:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is not comfortable for some reason. Kindergarten can be pretty intimidating. If some lame-brain has given her the impression that she is maybe not so smart, she may have lost her confidence. Could be performance anxiety as well.
Or maybe she is so smart the task of counting is just remedial to her. She may need a greater challenge.
2007-11-29 15:11:01 · answer #4 · answered by Nicole 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
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2016-04-30 07:40:44 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have her hearing checked, my daughter did the same thing in kinda and it turned out that she had hearing issues. also sounds like there has been a lot of thing going on for her maybe shes not feeling comfortable at kinda, and needs to be with people she knows and trusts
2007-11-29 15:33:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This sounds like attention seeking behaviour. Not surprising as she will be missing her mother and father and feeling vulnerable. Try to give her support and encouragement and explain to her that she is safe and her parents will be home soon.
2007-11-29 22:41:43 · answer #7 · answered by Jackie E 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I just wanted to say that UK Ebayer gave a really refreshing look at this for me. I was very impressed that he has looked at his past behovior and analyzed why. I think he gave an excellent answer to what was going on in his case.
2007-11-29 17:06:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
well as a mum of 4 and g/mam of 6 and johns wife i can say its because shes living with you all be it for a short while to her its a big deal and her mums gone off to her when thing get back to normal so will she but you have to understand to her little thing like this are big things to someone so small
2007-11-29 15:49:25 · answer #9 · answered by qasarasara 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It seems like she is needing a little extra attention. You are her sister and its great that you are taking care of her but I'm sure you can't replace your mother in her eyes. If she acts like she can't do well in school it gets her extra attention.
2007-11-29 15:11:03 · answer #10 · answered by smile4u 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋