very serious question about sexual molestation?

Question

ok this is the thing...my stepson is 10 yrs old and his mom has been letting him hang out and spend the night at this 50 yr old guys house since the summer.the guy buys him everything..psp,games,camcorder.etc
my stepson denies anything is going on and he loves this guy to death.he shows no signs of being abused but i guess some of his moms friends called her and told her the guy is a sex offender so she confronted him about it and he said he was arrested years ago for lettin his 15 yr old nephew watch porn.so we got suspicious .we called the dr's to see if they would do an exam on him and they said we need to get a referral from the cops.and the only way to do that is tofile a report.so we went to the police station and told them the whole situation and they said we have nothing to go on.so my question what do we do now?my stepson is so mad that we wont let him see this guy anymore.

Answer 1

This story contains a lot of elements that would make me suspicious too. I would not let them be alone together ever.

Answer 2

Buying gifts is a big No-No. He obviously wants something in return. He's luring him & it worked. Maybe this guy hasn't made his move yet, So it's a good thing you put a stop to the friendship. Your stepson is young & might be too ashamed to admit any molestation. Also, angry that he won't be getting gifts anymore. He might not even know if the guy put some moves on him, depends how aware he is of sexuality. The guy could have very well lied about his arrest resulting from porn. You don't have anything to go by as far as getting cops involved, but make sure they do not see eachother. I'm postive that this guy is up to NO good. Take care

Answer 3

Ok, if he is a sex offender it would be on the net along with a description of the crime. Get the facts before you do anything else.

Second, have there been any behavior changes?

Third, maybe nothing happened - yet - or maybe never will. Perhaps this guy has no kids and really does love the kid. I would advise, if ok, supervised visits at your nephews home.

Where does your nephew sleep when he is there? Does he ever come home really tired, or looking hung over? If he is drugged then he might not know anything is going on.

But, like I said, this guy may really just love the kid. Our government and society focuses on fear mongering to the point where no one really wants to deal with children.

Answer 4

Is your stepson really upset he cant see this guy or is he scared that this guy may think that he told on him???
My sister was molestered by ......... And the thing is that she only told after she was in senior high. It happened when she was very young. If you trust that your son is telling the truth then let him see him. But if you want a little more security maybe getting a micro camera installed in your son's fave bag or something. That way if something is going bad you do have proof. But I am not saying PUT your child at risk.... Keep your child as safe as you can. it is just a suggestion if you let them see each other again.

Answer 5

Have you tried looking him up in the sex offenders database for your state / area?
If there is no evidence, then you really can't move forward, but the boy will just have to be mad. It would be a cold day in Hell before MY boy would be allowed to hang out with such a character. He would not be allowed to have those gifts, and if he didn't like it, well, that's just his naive problem. Just because he's not mature enough to understand doesn't mean he should be allowed to hang out with a perv, which, an adult showing 15 year old kids porn, is. No matter how they smooth it over. The mom should get court documents to keep him away if he gives even the slightest resistance. He's up to no good. It's called "grooming" your victim. Something may NOT have happened. Yet. But it will, if allowed to continue. You can bet your last dollar.

Answer 6

Redirect your stepson to sports, children his own age, activities for kids, not adults. It is not normal that a 50 year old would choose to hang out with a kid without some ulterior motives. That is my opinion.
You could let your stepson hang out with this man with other adult supervision or in your home but not alone.
You could report the situation to Child Protective Services in your area and let them investigate. If this man was arrested for any type of sex offense, his need to file as an offender is life long. And nowadays that is something you can check online.

Answer 7

It may be nothing but...I wouldn't let my child be around anyone who is a sex offender no matter what. Even if he didn't touch a kid...there is a good reason why he is on that list. In my eyes it's better to keep him away or at least only when an adult if present verses letting him get hurt at all or any further. Chances are if nothing is going on the only reason the child is upset is because this man is spoiling him. Who cares if he is mad...safety first! Hope this helps!

Answer 8

If he said the nephew was 15, the he was actually probably 13-ish.

After about 4 weeks your stepson will have completely forgotten about this man.
But you can't just take away the man cold turkey, you gotta replace him with something: sports, a club, volunteer work, etc.

Answer 9

You have already done what you had too. Now you just have to stick to your guns and not allow him to see him. Did yout el the cops that this guy is a sex offender because normally they are not allowed any contact with children. I would keep a close eye on him and i would still try to get someone to check him out.

Answer 10

LOOK, you don't really have any proof that this man is a molestor so NO you can't do anything. But if you are suspiscious just keep your son away from him as much as possible. Hopefully the man didn't do anything to your son. Tell your son that your doing this because you care and your just trying to protect him.
GOD BLESS