ok so my dad is living with this girl who is going to be my step mom but she hates and i mean HATES kids. BUT MY DAD HAS TWO! i dont want my dad to get hurt i mean they get in alot of fights!
what should i do Chatham_gurlz
2007-11-29 14:44:38 · 18 answers · asked by ♥♥♥♥♥♥ 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I DONT LIVE WITH MY DAD he want to see me i think but he never dose
2007-11-29 14:50:30 · update #1
my dad is 30 my step mom is 28 they do not fight in front of me but i know they do
2007-11-29 14:51:49 · update #2
If they're getting into a lot of fights, then the marriage is already doomed. Do you have the option of living with your mom or other family member? Speak to your dad about your feelings. Hopefully you can talk things through.
2007-11-29 14:50:28 · answer #1 · answered by ladydi_1987 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a rough situation and I'm sorry you're going through it. But you have a chance to demonstrate some real character and class here, even though it is going to be very hard. I disagree with the people who said you should tell your dad you don't like her, or not speak to her. The reality is that this kind of behavior from you is not going to change his decision to marry her, and all you will accomplish is strife and discord in the family.
You don't have to like your stepmother, but always be polite and respectful to her, even if that is the opposite of how you actually feel inside. You will show that you are the bigger person, and in the end, it will be better for all involved. Even if she is rude or unpleasant to you, kill her with kindness. Ignore anything she does that is inappropriate, and always speak to her in a civil tone of voice.
As for their fighting, just stay out of it. Don't get involved in their conflicts in any way. If your dad complains about his gf, just say politely, "I don't feel comfortable talking about this."
You shouldn't be put in this position at your age, but unfortunately your dad is putting his own interests in front of his kids. There isn't much you can do to change that, but you CAN show that you are a mature and elegant young lady in spite of the raw deal you've been given. When you're an adult and you have a chance to do things differently with your kids, you will. You'll be able to give them a stable household without this kind of chaos and drama, because you'll clearly remember how upsetting it was for you.
Good luck, and God bless.
2007-11-29 15:06:39 · answer #2 · answered by meatpiemum 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I am a step mom to an 11 year old girl and to tell you the truth it is hard I mean shes not my real child and I didn't have a bond with her right off the bat If he is going to marry her then YOU try ask her questions get to know her She might be jealous of you and your sibling
She wont be with your dad all the time
2007-11-29 14:50:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if you don't have to live with them then it may be best to just be nice to them. It may not last very long anyway. Ask to see your dad one on one - that's what he should be doing, spending time with you. If this girl is a new girlfriend your dad will not have much time for you right now as he is sorting out this new relationship. You want him to be happy so think in terms of how she makes him happy. He will spend time with you again after a while. Be patient. Call him so you keep in touch.
SORRY for your problems! It is horrible - I grew up in a mess worse than that after my mom died and I made it but it was not happy times at home. Time will change everything. Looking back now, I feel more sorry for my dad for having married such a terrible woman.
So keep your head high and out of trouble. Your own life - row your boat gently up the stream, as they say and you will be fine - there is no sense in making a lot of waves or being jealous.
2007-11-29 14:47:47 · answer #4 · answered by realme 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well my dad is dating a 19 year old girl and i am 21 so i know how it feels to really hate someone...This girl is trying to be a mom to me lol. I would just tell your dad how you feel but chances are he will listen but still marry her...So all you can really do is deal with it...I hate to put it that why but men don't think with there minds...Sorry Good Luck
2007-11-29 14:50:56 · answer #5 · answered by skittles_ga1986 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not a healthy environment for you.Will you be living with them? Can't you live with your mom or grandparents? If you must live with your dad and his wife to be then just leave everything to God.Trust me.Pray and leave things in God's hands.Surround yourself with great friends.Soon enough , you'll see yourself graduating from H.S and going off to campus.Good luck honey.Hang in there.You are stronger than you think .
2007-11-29 14:51:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Damn, this is a popular problem.
Explain this to your dad. If he is all 'jane is really a nice lady, suzi, give her a chance' (sorry for the bad fill-in names), try talking to your other sibling. If you both rebel, he might reconsider.
But if he doesn't, never speak to her. I mean never. Show you don't like her.
2007-11-29 14:49:01 · answer #7 · answered by Sucre Noir 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to your dad and tell him how you feel. If he does not listen, talk to an adult whom you can trust. You need to get your feelings out. Perhaps, live with a stable adult.
Call Dr. Laura 1800-DrLaura.
2007-12-02 03:34:10 · answer #8 · answered by SAHM/Part Time Tutor 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't do anything about their relationship -they have to solve those challenges themselves. But you owe it to yourself to talk to your dad privately about feeling left out. He may not understand your needs. Sometimes we have difficult times to live through. While you are looking forward to better times, do your best to improve who you are, find what makes you happy, and do your best to plan for it.
2007-11-29 15:29:16 · answer #9 · answered by Jeanne B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gosh, i know this is hard on you. But, he is an adult, and right now he may not be "seeing" things as clearly as he may later. Give him time.
You trying to tell him is not going to help, this is something he needs to see and realize byhimself, and you need to try and be patient. good luck
2007-11-29 14:48:38 · answer #10 · answered by do.drop 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋