I love my dad very much...But I dont think he loves me.
He recently moved to San Antonio Texas where he is living with his current girlfriend. I dont like her.
I think he is going to marry her...
But...My parents have been divorced since I was 7. It was very difficult. But it is more so now that I am older because I understand it all now.
He left. He didnt want the responsibilty of having children or a wife. So he cheated on my mom and left.
I know that he doesnt love me...what kind of father lives 1,463 miles away from his children and family?
He calls everyday...and tells me he loves me. But I dont believe him.
Because of him, I dont have a regular life. No daddy to cry on. No daddy for my little brother...
Do I need like a theripist or something?
What did I do wrong?
2007-11-29 14:32:08 · 13 answers · asked by Summer 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
When parents leave a child, it is very common for the child to believe it was their fault... and they take this belief into adulthood. It WAS NOT YOUR FAULT. Dad is a thoroughly self-centred individual and left for his own reasons. He wants it all and even wants a relationship with you, without looking at the consequences of his irresponsibility. Yes, it would be nice to have a father-like person in your life, and I'm sorry you don't have one at the moment -- but again I say to you, ITS NOT YOUR FAULT.
However, maybe some therapy would be helpful for you, it might help you come to terms with what's happening for you.
2007-11-29 18:34:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now that you are older, why do you blame yourself? You know
it was nothing you did. You know why he left. He didn`t want the responsibility. He may love you in his own way, that is why he left. So as not to teach you his bad habits. Him calling you everyday does mean something. He is thinking about
you. That is something.
You cannot blame his leaving on your not normal life. You have a life with people who love you. You are not very appreciative of those people. Many people go through life with only one parent around. They make there life happy because they do not feel sorry for themselves. There is always someone who is worse off than you. They find other people who have shoulders and use those to cry on.
Maybe you should seek counseling and find out why you feel like you do.
No one can make you unhappy unless you let them.
2007-11-29 14:43:51 · answer #2 · answered by Blessed 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For one thing, quit living in the past. You can't change it, so swipe the slate clean and get past it. I'm very sure that your dad loves you. The girlfriend you need to try and accept for his sake. You may not like her, but you have to think of his feelings and what she may bring into his life. In a relationship with your dad, you have to be willing to work just as hard at it as you expect him to. While it's difficult to have a relationship with someone so far away, it can be done. How badly do you want this? Children of divorced parents never have an easy time of it, so yes, I do suggest you get some type of therapy to help you get past your feelings of abandonment and hurt. Only then will you be free to pursue a real relationship with him. I feel for you, as I too come from a broken home. But it is because of this that I can say to you what I'm saying. If it helps any, I did everything I just said that you should do, and because of it, ended up having a very close relationship with my father before he passed away.
2007-11-29 14:42:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't understand it all - even if you think you do.
Your mom has been bad mouthing your dad - and your mom has NO RIGHT to tell you that he cheated on her or anything else that is "bad". This is why you feel conflicted. AND, this is the reason why parents are not supposed to bad mouth each other when they get a divorce.
You do not know his circumstances, his job circumstances, his financial circumstances, his legal circumstances... so you have no idea why he lives so far away. There are plenty of fathers that live far away from their children - that is quite normal in a divorce situation.
So, don't assume he doesn't love you because he moved far away.
It sounds like he loves you very much. I don't know many divorced fathers who call their children every day and tell them that he loves them.
2007-11-29 15:42:30 · answer #4 · answered by Dina K 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You didn't anything wrong. All you need is to be strong. Why don't you have a regular life?
You probably feel like having a void in your life or in your heart, but you'll eventually grow out of it, just don't let that void bothering you too much. Look on the bright side, you can still talk to your dad (at least). There are so many people who don't even have a dad to talk to.
Be happy and live happily.
2007-11-29 14:41:41 · answer #5 · answered by KarenaT 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the only thing you did wrong was thinking your dad left because of you or that it was your fault. sometimes people just cant make their relationships work and they have to do things for themsevles to be happy. it was selfish but what would you do, im sure you would want to be happy.
when he left he didnt leave you and your brother, he left his wife and if he calls everyday just to speak to you and let you know he loves you i actually think your pretty lucky and hes taking some responsibility. i know someone who has to call her mum just to speak to her because she cant be bothered to call her own daughter!
it is not up to you to pick your dads wives, try and be happy for him and be nice and make it work, if it were me yes id be upset but id want my dad to do what makes him happy and if she does that then you dont have too much to worry about.
he loves you very much, your his daughter he will always love and your brother unconditionally. if you want him in your life more maybe go visit him for a couple of weeks and share custody or ask if he can move closer.
2007-11-29 14:41:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not the cause of their breakup and no one is blaming you. If you feel really terrible about it, first talk to your mom and express how you feel. Only go to therapy if you really want to, but I think it will help you get over this situation and cope with it better
2007-11-29 14:39:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did nothing wrong,you can't control another persons actions.And if you feel overwhelmed maybe it might be best for you to talk to a counselor or therapist.But it really would be better if you tell your father how you really feel.
2007-11-29 20:11:08 · answer #8 · answered by demonfirelife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you didn't do anything...he is just choosing to move on and make a life...you can't blame yourself for him moving far and having a girlfriend...if he says he loves you he loves...be thankfull that he at least calls...my dad only sees me whenever I go visit him in the dominican republic and I live in teh united states...
2007-11-29 14:36:43 · answer #9 · answered by Gordita de Oro 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget your FATHER!! believe me..i you want to truly find out if he loves you try to go to texas (his house right?) in the summer...if he takes care of you and gets you what u want he loves you and if he doesn't then he doesn't love u
2007-11-29 14:49:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋