2007-11-29 14:11:18 · 12 answers · asked by gena518 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I've never had the opportunity to meet my mother-in-law because I'm black. I called her when my husband was in Iraq. I always said hello and gave her my reason for calling. After telling me to never call her home I respected that which is hard at times I need to talk to my hausdand who is now back and staying with her. There was atime when I really needed to talk to my husband but I wouldn't call, but my girlfriend called for me and left her number for my husband. my girlfriend is black but sounds as if she could be white and I listen to my mother in-law carry on a conversation with my girlfriend for a good 20 min. It was hard but strange. I wished my in-laws could get past my color and realize I am not a bad person. I am hard working and took care of my 4 children. My oldest son is a yr away from starting law school, my younger son is in junior college and I have 2 girls at home one of which will be graduating in the spring. All I want was a chance.
2007-11-29 14:53:31 · update #1
Did she mention anything about your race in the conversation because if she did yes and if not she just doesn't like you.
2007-11-29 14:15:59 · answer #1 · answered by hi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not seeing the connection you're making here. Is there more to the story? Maybe she just thinks you talk too much when you call her.
*****
I just read your additional comments, and I can now see why you suspect racism. I don't know your entire situation, but is there any way you can gently ask your husband (without revealing that you suspect his mother of being racist) why he thinks his mom doesn't reach out to you in a way you deserve? I'm just playing the devil's advocate here, but maybe there's some other reason she treats you the way she does that you may not be aware of. However, based on the friend phone call example it looks to me as if your suspicions may be correct - and if they are, the only consolation I can give you is the knowledge that you have four wonderful children whose future husbands and wives will never get that kind of poor treatment (like you're receiving now) from you.
2007-11-29 14:14:01 · answer #2 · answered by Pooty Pootwell 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You really didn't make this clear. Are you and your husband seperated? Has she ever been rude to you. If she is protecting him by not letting you talk with him? This is wrong but not racist. It's an overbearing mother-in- law who should mind her own business.
2007-11-29 15:22:14 · answer #3 · answered by Laurie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not necessarily. She obviously raised a son who was loving and kind or you wouldn't love him. I feel it is unlikely that someone who raised a son like that never would have conveyed those feelings to her son throughout his childhood.
Maybe she just can't deal with any elses problems right now.
2007-11-29 14:25:15 · answer #4 · answered by Mama Mia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she doesn't like you for reasons other than your race. Did she show up to your wedding? Does she do or say anything else that would make you think she is racist? Why don't you come right out and ask her if she is a racist?
2007-11-29 14:47:06 · answer #5 · answered by Leather and Lace 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ya know, you could have given so more information, like why she said not to call her home and what your nationality is. You are not going to get any help with this question unless you do some editing.
2007-11-29 14:16:49 · answer #6 · answered by Solomon Grundy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she saids never call her home, I wouldn't go as far as racist but I would wonder why? "Is their something someone is not telling you, or better yet, are you on the up and up?
2007-11-29 14:19:27 · answer #7 · answered by kk 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
unfortunately the world is full of racism. as much as you would like to be friends with her, she will probably never change. why is your husband staying with her and not you? she should accept you because you are married to her son and if he is happy she should be too no matter what race you are.
2007-11-29 14:15:13 · answer #8 · answered by luciousgreeneyedlady 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
she might be a racist and if she doesn't want to take the time to know you and its not your fault...it's hers for being so closed minded,and by doing this is closing herself off from getting to know a great person.But if you still want to get to know this woman have your husband talk to her and see what the problem is,and why she is behaving like this,it might not be what you think.
2007-11-29 20:18:23 · answer #9 · answered by demonfirelife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That sucks. Are you sure this is the reason? What does your spouse have to say about it?
2007-11-29 14:15:19 · answer #10 · answered by KC 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋