How do you handle a spoilt kid??

Question

The spoilt kid is my aunt's, she lives with me in the day and afternoon, and during the night she goes back to her own home. She's 7 years old this year, and her parents always quarrel at home(verbal abuse each other). Parents are getting a divorce when child gets older, and i think the kid is going through some hurts. Recently she cry alot, when she cannot get her own way, and she will throw things. Her father, her grannie(that lives with us) have been saying very negative things to her, like"It would be better off if you die (in chinese dialect)" etc. personally i've been a spoilt kid, and i had some misunderstandings and hurts from the aunt that lives with us, hence i tend to treat the kid the same way as how i percieve my aunt to treat me. Are there any ways to solve this situation?? How to handle her?? Thanks alot.

she is rebellious. How to handle her??

Answer 1

First of all, negative feedback will only make the situation worse. Since her parents are going through a tough time and are verbally abusive with each other, there's a good chance that she's learning the bad behavior from their actions, or is simply acting out in an attempt to gain attention. Many times when marriages are rocky, the husband and wife are so preoccupied with their relationship and the drama invovled that the children may feel ignored or even neglected. Sometimes a kid may out to gain attention, even if it's negative attention.

Another thing to consider: Before my parents divorced, I would witness their horrendous fights. Even though I was only 4, I learned early on that I could act out in a negative way and gain their attention. In my mind I thought that if I did something bad to get my parents' attention that my bad actions would bring them back together, because then at least they would agree on something!

What I think you should do is definitely not encourage the bad behavior, but certainly don't overreact. Tell her in a very calm way that her actions are not acceptable, and then give consequences....."If you do not stop, you will not be allowed to watch tv for a week", etc..

There are some people who encourage spanking. I think that depends on the situation and the adults.

Answer 2

um dont give her what she wants when he has a tantrum, let her cry it out. it can be healthy for them. maybe sign her up into a karate class or something fun, it will build her confidence, help her make friends and burn energy and anger. he should not be saying this to her, when he does stick up to him, no one should be made to feel unworthy of life and if he is doing this i can guarantee she will have issues when shes older. how did you feel when your aunt treated you that way? and you think that felt good so you treat her the same? i dont think so. be the bigger better person.

Answer 3

Yeah show kindness and patience but also boundaries with the "spoiled" kid and talk to her parents about the trouble they are causing her.Do not allow the kid to get away with bad behavior at your house though else they wont behave in public.