My aunt took in this boy (everyone in my family seems to take in other people's children) and he has problems, I grew up with my grandma, her adopted child and several cousins younger than me, so I know what I'm talking about, he does the most bizarre things. He will do stuff that inflicts pain upon himself and he hits, bites, and physically attack my little brothers and cousins. All my aunt says is "DONT HIT MY BABY" if they hit him back. She always says "He just 2-years-old" I know from experience there is a difference between "Terrible 2" and just plain ---weird. If a 1 year old understands, "DO NOT TOUCH, IT'S HOT" Than certainly he should understand. My other aunt says ignore it because she was unable to have children, but my grandpa told her get out and don't ever bring her back, and she asks me if she can stay with me for a while, i agreed and when I came home from work he was coloring on my wall and all she said was "DONT HIT MY BABY!!!" and I told her to leave, was I wrong?
2007-11-29 12:20:42 · 9 answers · asked by Deontaye G 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
No you weren't wrong mom needs to discipline the boy.
2007-11-29 12:24:28 · answer #1 · answered by ziggy_brat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Had this been my Aunt, I would have told her
(1) I wasn't going to 'hit her baby' but that her baby would be spending the next two minutes in the 'simmer down chair' located in the corner (psychologists recommend 1 minute per each year of age) as he needs to learn there are boundaries.
(2) I would then hand my Aunt some cleanser, a sponge and point her in the direction of the 'art work', suggesting that she enlist the aid of her ward to help teach him right from wrong.
If my Aunt took offense, she would be welcome to leave; however, I would insist that the damage be repaired.
A child will often inflict physical pain on themselves when they experience an emotion they do not know how to deal with and physical discomfort is something with which they are more equipped to cope. Often they will lash out at others for the same reason. This child simply needs to learn alternative ways of coping with anger and frustration.
**Consistent** discipline in the form of a time out, not hitting, is essential. Another parenting technique that is effective is 'redirection'. Ex: You see the child headed toward the wall with crayons, quickly intervene and steer the child toward an acceptable activity, like coloring on a pad paper or a new activity or toy all together.
2007-11-29 21:03:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No you weren't wrong.
I have a neice who takes foster children. One of the children she actually adopted.
One of the things I have learned from her experience (I thought she was too young for this at the time) is all of these children need love and guidance. Discipline ( if applied correctly) is part of this guidance.
Don't feel bad about your decision. Your aunt should have respected your home and should have made sure the child respected it as well.
2007-11-29 20:28:40 · answer #3 · answered by gail s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This child has had a different lifestyle than you have in his young age. It seems obvious to hit back but think how he learned it...I spank my children but maybe 1 time a year! There are other ways of dicipline! This child is trying to find his limits. Also he is figuring out who will HIT him and who will not. Your grandmother knows his background. Ask her. Ask her what alternatives she has when he acts out. He needs a stable, non violent, loving but diciplened home. Try to be more open minded. You may be different when you have children but you will also learn not all children are the same! Even my kiddos!
2007-11-29 20:34:45 · answer #4 · answered by MeShell 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, the way your Aunt is handeling this the child is bound to have terrible behavoir problems. What she will find out in time is that no-one will want her to come around. I think you were right. I wouldn't upset my household with this kind of stuff either. No you were not wrong. Why is she moving around with him anyway. Maybe she shouldn't have him if she cannot provide for him.
2007-11-29 20:42:17 · answer #5 · answered by c h 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not sure.....from one stand, no , not at all, u were nice enough to let her stay in ur house, and she won't even do u the favor of controlling her kid.
in another since yes. she had no where else to go. as long as she replaces/cleans everything the child messes up, hey, let him go wild, she'll just have to keep replacing it. but i wouldn't have kicker her out, especially with a kid. don't feel bad though, i prob would have done the same, until i realized how i felt in foster care, and realized how being unwanted can feel.
think about it, let her stay, just tell her to replace everything.
2007-11-29 20:47:42 · answer #6 · answered by MM 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you were right to be angry and react. I think she should discipline her child before he gets bigger and things really get out of control.
2007-11-29 20:26:56 · answer #7 · answered by Erin 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No you werent wrong and you need to tell her she is a bad mother and one day she will be saying to her kid"please quit stabbing mommy with that knife hon it hurts...please stop...oh call 911 for mommy"
2007-11-29 20:39:39 · answer #8 · answered by Joe F 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no i don't think you were wrong everyone should know right from wrong even your aunt. sometimes discipline is necessary
2007-11-29 20:27:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋