Whenever someone hurts me, I completely retreat into myself. It's like my normally bubbly, easy-going, sweet personality vanishes. I barely talk and when I do, I make passive aggressive remarks to push the persons buttons, but pretend I have no idea what they're talking about when they accuse me of doing it.
Even when the person tries to be really nice to me to make up for it, I go out of my way to be cold and distant, but I do it in such a way that they can't quite put their finger on what's not right about my behavior.
2007-11-29 11:31:37 · 14 answers · asked by Original_Syn 6 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Wow, well at least you have the ability to be that introspective about your behavior.
I think your actions are pretty common (that's exactly how I am too) but I don't think it's the best way to deal with conflict. Obviously if you're asking this question, the way you handle these issues not only bothers the other person but you as well.
I think the reason you find it hard to forgive someone after they hurt you is because you don't deal with it directly, so you probably go over it in your head over and over until it's blown out of proportion.
Next time someone hurts you, try talking to them directly about how you feel. Don't be angry and confrontational, but be firm in expressing your thoughts. That way they will know what they did wrong and can take the proper actions to correct it, and you'll feel better because by talking about it, you won't be carrying it around in your head.
I hope I helped, and I also want to mention that this advice is only good for when someone accidentally hurts your feelings. If the person is intentionally cruel and hurts your feelings a lot, then it might be best to cut that person out of your life.
Good luck!
2007-11-29 11:41:22 · answer #1 · answered by queen_bee0042 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It does not sound like you withdraw.
You are choosing to behave in certain ways to have an impact on the other person.
I think of withdrawing as turning inward and not having anything to do with the outside.
It sounds like you may be angry at the other person for hurting you. You could try telling them they have hurt you and it has made you upset. I hope this helps.
2007-11-29 11:40:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. There is nothing wrong with getting upset when a person hurts you, but dont be passive-aggressive about it. Try to let a person know that you didnt appreciate how they made you feel and stop holding it inside and holding grudges.
2007-11-29 11:35:20 · answer #3 · answered by Beautiful Soul 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All that does is push people farther away from you and keeps you from developing healthy relationships. If someone hurts or offends you it is best to tactifully tell them what is upsetting you. Remeber we all say and do things we regret so try to be a forgiving friend.
2007-11-29 11:36:02 · answer #4 · answered by bree 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're a very sensitive person, but there's nothing wrong with that. Just remember to put yourself in the place of whoever hurt you. If they didn't mean to do it or really regret it, they don't deserve to be treated that way.
2007-11-29 11:34:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
A very wise woman once told me "Even friends can be unfriendly." Let her know how you felt. There are those that say mean things just to be mean. Everyone should be allowed a faux pax every once in a while. Withdrawn at first yes, let it fester, no.
2007-11-29 11:36:21 · answer #6 · answered by Franklin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just think "do I really want to pass this hurt on to some one else" or mabey the person who hurt you is doing the same thing as you and you just got caught up in it so WHY do the same when you can end it
2007-11-29 12:15:56 · answer #7 · answered by ஐKatஐ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm doing it right now also. My husband and my mom have each hurt me and I'm doing the same thing. I think it's a coping mechinsim
2007-11-29 11:35:07 · answer #8 · answered by momontheedge 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i dont even know why u are asking this question! just by reading this u should now that its bad. why are u so mean? i can understand being angry but not being cold and distant to someone who is trying to make up for it. i would LEARN TO FORGIVE!! it seems to me that u hold grudges way to easily and need to loosen up.
2007-11-29 11:36:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
subtract the amount of friends you have from the times you will be hurt in life = no friends if you keep behaving the way you are.
2007-11-29 11:37:04 · answer #10 · answered by colormehappy 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋