what do i do?

Question

I have a 21 year old son. he is always in trouble hang out with the wrong people and wont get a job. he is always got people in front of my house wanting to beat him up. he has been shot at and everthing ealse. i dont talk to him anymore cuz im so mad at him. now today my husband just called me and told me that a car load of gang members are in front of my house and calling him out because he got some girl really drunk and took advantage of her. i dont want him to be homeless or live in the river bottom but what do i do. his father and real mother have never carred for him just me but i dont know how much more i can take. anyone ealse have a problem child like this? if so what did you do.

Answer 1

21 yrs old is NOT a poor little baby boy anymore.Time for a reality check hon.You either get raped and murdered by the gangs who decide they will teach this 21 yr old punk a lesson, which is likely eventually.Or you get a backbone, pack his crap and take him to a homeless shelter and tell him NEVER to come back until he straightens up and makes something of himself.He will either learn to like the homeless shelter or get on his feet or end up in prison or dead, at least THIS way he wont be taking YOU with him.

Answer 2

Whether you want to admit it or not, until you put your foot down and tell him that you are not going to accept this kind of behavior in your house any more, he is not going to change. You are enabling him. You are going to have to practice some tough love and tell him that he is 21 years old now and if he doesn't get a job and start making something out of himself in a specified amount of time (set a deadline) then he is going to have to find somewhere else to live. And stick to it. Some people don't grow up unless they have to and he needs a hard lesson in reality from you before he gets one from a gang member.