should i be guilty?

Question

im extremely motivated and have a big ambition, but i feel guilty at short regular intervals, then all the sudden i feel really confident and happy and full of energy, but when im convinced that im guilty it goes away
i have a super memory too
im kind of had a guilty feeling a few minutes ago, what should i do?
depression came when i was guilty of not letting my grandma know about my masturbation, and in the summer i got fired because i didn't smile, i was really down
these are the things im guilty about and it's not controllable

Answer 1

Don't tell your grandma about masterbating. It isn't an issue and she doesn't need to know. Getting fired because you didn't smile sounds like a little thing. You might think that if you have contact with the public that how you come across to people makes a huge difference in how the business thrives or not. So, if you can't do that, find another type of job.

Answer 2

You are mixing up words. Guilty means you made a mistake, and it is correctable. It is a good thing to have (a conscience) because you can then move on and not do the activity again. If you rob a bank, you are guilty. You serve your sentence, then feel guilty. No, now you are feeling shame.
SHAME means YOU ARE a mistake. And no one is a mistake. They may be the worst person in the world and feel guilty, but shameful people are made by others. People shame us all of the time. You did something, shame on you. You go to jail, shame on you. You are a wonderful person now, but you still feel that you ARE a mistake(not that you made a mistake, which is guilt, remember.)
We are shamed a lot in childhood. We get caught masturbating, Shame on you. No, no. That is one of the healthiest ways to get rid of sexual tension. Better than raping someone, I would say, wouldn't you. And yet our Puritan forefathers shamed us into thinking anything sexual other than marriage is bad.
As to getting fired because you didn't smile, there may have been more to it that they didn't say. So you felt shame. Not guilt because a lot of people don't smile. I'm a serious person and rarely smile. But I have no shame about it.
If you learn the difference between the two feelings: shame and guilt, you can then always determine which of the two feelings you are truly feeling.
I have much shame, but am aware of the difference so it doesn't trip me up. My shame comes from incest in the home. I was shamed over and over again and told it was my fault. That I WAS A MISTAKE... No, no, no. Wrong. I am not a mistake. And for that sexual acting out by my brother, do not feel guilt.
Hopefully, you can see the difference, talk to someone about it, and clarify this. It does not have to influence you anymore. YOU ARE NOT A MISTAKE.

Answer 3

I don't think guilt is ever a good choice. It's simply a waste of energy. What's done is done and can't be changed, ever. Looking at the intensity with which your emotions change, even in just a paragraph, I'm wondering if you've ever considered getting treatment for Bi-Polar Disorder? I don't mean this meanly at all, friend, but those are some SERIOUS swings from elation, pride, joy to despair, despondency and overwhelming guilt. Your emotional body sounds as if it's on fire! Are you just young and hormonal and adolescent, or is every day a roller coaster ride like this? Have you considered getting some body work and getting off the coffee/soda/sugar machine???? By the way: I don't recommend "letting Grandma know about my masturbation" ever. We don't want to kill the poor dears. Some things are not meant to be shared, dear one, and what you do to give yourself pleasure behind closed doors is none of Grandma's (or anyone else's) business, plain and simple, unless you're schtupping her cat.

Answer 4

It really doesn't sound like you have anything to be guilty about. You're motivated, big ambition you should be proud of that not ashamed. I can't say I understand how you feel because I myself have never had those feelings, but I do care and I would like to help in any way I can.

I also don't think you should feel guilty about masturbating; it is a completely natural human urge. We all need to relieve tension sometimes. It really is not a bad thing, don't be so hard on yourself. That's what everyone else in the world is for. Learn to appriciate yourself for what you can do instead of what you think you can't.

Email me if you like or if you need to.

Vanessa