Should I tolerate my mother-in-law??

Question

ME AND MY MOTHER-IN-LAW HAVE GOTTEN ALONG UP UNTIL ABOUT A MONTH AGO, MY HUSBANDS BROTHERS WIFE IS LIVING WITH HER, WHILE HIS BROTHER IS IN IRAQ, THE SISTER-IN-LAW IS CHEATING ON THE BROTHER WITH A STEP-BROTHER, WE TOLD MY HUSBANDS BROTHER ABOUT IT, AND NOW MY MOTHER-IN-LAW IS FURIOUS AT US, I WORK WITH HER, AND SHE HAS BEEN SO HATEFUL TO ME, SHE CONTROLS MY CHECK AND MY HOURS, THIS JOB PAYS GOOD, BUT I HATE COMING TO WORK, SHOULD I SAY SOMETHING TO HER?

Answer 1

Sometimes, in dysfunctional situations, the one that points out the elephant in the room is the one that everyone is mad at, even if that person has not contributed to the dysfunction in any way.
Your mother in law is probably the type to cover up 'indescretions' like that, and when you blew the lid off of it she probably thought you were in the wrong for that.
The same thing happened to me, I have a destructive mother in law with certain mental illness - everyone else tolerates and b!tches about her behind her back, and I have boundaries that I enforce. I never said anything to her, but I decided not to tolerate it, and now everyone is mad at me and thinks that I'm a jerk. And all I did was to not give in to her bullying!
Don't feel badly, don't act like you've done anything wrong. Your MIL should be angry with her other DIL for cheating, not you. Hold you head up high. If you can't stand working with her, perhaps you could get another job if something similar to the job you have is available?

Answer 2

1st since your job pays well I would be smart and keep your personal business away from work. I would tell her that she can not hold up your check and she dose not have to like you personally but this is a work issue and you will speak to her Superior about payroll if she gives you a problem. Think about it, do you really need to air your dirty laundry at work. 2nd why is your husband not dealing with his mother? It is his job to iron things out with his mother. I think you brother in law has no morals to sleep with his brothers wife and your sister in law is a real peace of work. I don't know why you and your hubby felt the need to tell her husband while in Iraq.

Answer 3

why is she mad? Because her son get cheated on or because you told him and he has enough stress and does not need to know yet? either way, she is wrong. You should not have to keep no one's secret and support something like adultery. I am sure you would appretiate it if someone told you someone was cheating on you. But most of the time, the one that opens up the can of worms gets burned. so maybe both you and your husband should approach her and tell her you had the best intentions for the family, but that you won't get involved like that again. But also make her see that what this girl is doing is wrong and hurtful and she needs to be ousted out of the family.

Answer 4

Since your brother in law is Iin raq I don’t think you should have told him. There going through so much over there and since he can’t deal with this issue with his wife at this point telling would not help. Now as for your mother in-law just get another job. I think you are spending to much time in other lives, invest in your own.

Answer 5

I would tolerate her but not say anything. You don't want to give her a reason to do something crazy.

BTW, she should be glad that you and your husband respect your brother-in-law. She should be furious with the cheater not with the two of you.

Answer 6

Yes tell her she needs to realize it is better her son finds out now,RATHER than when he steps off the plane gets home and then goes nuts and kills people.
Tell her you dont want to go to the employment agency and make a complain but you will if she doesnt quit abusing her role at work.

Answer 7

You need to leave that job and if she messes with your paycheck, she can get in trouble with the law.

Answer 8

You should mend things with your Mom in Law......some things are better off left alone.

Answer 9

Stay out of it completely.