dear all you yahoo answers, i really need your help. my cousin whos 16 is expecting a baby around christmas time. yes, i said 16. her and her boyfriend have decided to keep the baby. i myself ain't so happy about it her life is completely ruined if you ask me. i'm older and i always thought i would be the one who would have a child first. i'm 20 but my boyfriend and i are still in college and we are getting married in the spring. but were not ready for children. anyway whenever she talks about the baby or about naming the baby, i try to be happy for her but i'm hurting in the inside. also, she asked my boyfriend and i to be the god parents. how can i get over her being pregnant first? and i'm really mad about her being 16 and expecting a baby.
2007-11-29 09:48:15 · 64 answers · asked by Jennifer 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
believe it or not, i know exactly how you are feeling. i am the eldest of three girls. i am 27 years old, and just had a little girl 9 weeks ago. i have known since i was young that i would someday want a family. i am the aunt to three neices (ages 6, 4, 2) and two nephews (18 months, 5 months). i was extremely jealous, angry and hurt that i wasn't the first daughter to have a grandchild. but i have come to learn that each child born to a family is a blessing. it may not seem like it now, but in time you will love having a baby around. congratulations.
2007-11-29 14:57:56 · answer #1 · answered by beaker8580 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well I can't help you on the get over the fact that she's 16 and pregnant other than it's already done and you can't change it all you can do is accept it now... I can tell you that I was 16 when I was pregnant and my son did not ruin my life, I still graduated high school, and plan on starting college next semester, a baby does not ruin your life, you can ruin it by using the baby as an excuse but it still not the babies fault, be there for her and be supportive, talk to her about finishing school and make sure she understands that she can do it, if you can't be there for her and supportive your just going to bring her down, be happy that she wants you to be a part of the babies life.
2007-11-29 09:53:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously, many people would be feeling the exact same way you are. That is a very young age, but what she needs right now is support. I wouldn't commend what she did, but since it already happened, it wouldn't help to get mad about it. Be a positive role model in her life, and it seems that she looks up to you to some degree since she asked you to be the Godparent. Sit down and talk with her open and honestly, and tell her that you are there for her, but she needs to be responsible and let her know that she is going to be missing out on some of the best years of her life as a "kid". She needs to love the child and not give up. Although she was faced with this at such a young age, the baby is still a miracle of life and you were placed there for a reason. Embrace it and try to guide your cousin towards the right path. Best of luck and I hope this helps.
I don't want this to come off the wrong way, but I don't understand why everyone is saying that you are jealous. You clearly stated that you and your boyfriend were not ready for children, which is very respectable. Just wanted to clear that up. Ok, well I hope everything goes well.
2007-11-29 10:03:10 · answer #3 · answered by La lele 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jealousy is an awful thing esp. when it's someone you purport to love. If she is happy to be pregnant then who are you to judge.
Love her like the older person I'm sure she looks up to. It's a very special thing she's done by asking you to be a godparent. It shows how much she loves and trusts you. You need to research just what being a godmother entails but more importantly you need to put things into perspective. She hasn't stopped you from becoming a mother. That's YOUR choice. You and your partner decided to wait because you thought that was the way to go in your relationship. Rightly or wrongly your cousin chose a different route. Support them in what is coming because they will need all the help they can get at such a young age. Good-luck to you when you do decide to start your own family and remember you might need someone there for you . Let it be her.
2007-11-29 10:04:50 · answer #4 · answered by linda c 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What's done is done......you can't change it. I applaud her for having the courage to go through with the pregnancy....it won't be easy to be a parent at such a young age. Hence she needs your love and support....she has reached out to you and wnats you to be a godparent because she trusts and respects you. You should trust and respect her back. Life is not a race or a competition. Just think that when it's your turn you'll have had the benefit of some practise, and your baby will have a playmate. Stop being selfish and be supportive. What would you want for yourself if the situation were reversed?
2007-11-29 09:58:01 · answer #5 · answered by honey 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi. I'm Ozzie. Here's the way it is. She's 16 . W=W=W=Way too young to be a mother. She's a baby herself. But, unfortunately, she's gonna have a baby of her own. See, a toddler doesn't know much about cars and streets and all that. But, he can still walk out into one. Same scenerio. She asked you to be God parents. It could help her. And, believe me, she needs help! Don't deny the baby because the mother is too young to understand. Being a God parent is for the baby. No matter what the age of the mother is...the babies are all new borns. It needs help. Your cousin asked you because she looks up to you. Forget the ignorance and step up. Be 20...not 16. You'll be glad you did. Make a positive o ut of this. There's enough negatives in the works already.
2007-11-29 10:17:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe she made a bad decision.. but she's 16.. it's not that weird that she's sleeping with her b/f.
It may shock you, but I can guarantee it shocked her even more. Obviously.. she's having this baby.
Ok.. so you're jealous. So what? That's expected.
If one of my cousins (im the oldest, btw) had a baby before me.. id be pretty jealous, too.
BUT -- you have to be there for her... like, you have to, ya know?
She needs you now more than ever.
maybe you should tell her how you feel.
That will make everything a lot better.
Tell her you're upset b/c she's having a baby first AND b/c she's your cousin & you love her & don't want her to ruin her life.
* Take pride that you're waiting.. you'll have a baby when you & your bf are READY..
* Maybe she's one of those girls who just rocks at being a Mom.. like my best friend.. she had her babies (twins) at FIFTEEN... but.. she was so good with them... and now they're a year old & she's even better. She's just one of those girls. She's even taking care of her brother's 4 year old. I'm so proud of her.. & maybe your cousin will turn out to be that kind of girl (WHICH IS NOT BAD)... it'll work out.
2007-11-29 10:03:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seriously, who would be jealous of teen pregnancy?! You people that are answering that this girl is jealous are extremely stupid. Who would want to have a baby while trying to finish high school?! We all know that this girl is going to end up a high school drop out and will probably be on welfare for the rest of her life.
Teen pregnancy is an awful, awful thing.
To answer your question, all you can do is be strong for her and try and be a positive role model. She made a bad choice that might ruin the rest of her life. You need to be there for her to convince her to stay in school and go to college so she can make enough money to support her. Just do everything you can do get her back on the right track. I am sorry for your situation and I really hope everything works out. Good luck hun.
2007-11-29 10:05:36 · answer #8 · answered by alilley07 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Ok, first of all, you don't have a right to say your cousin has just ruined her life. You are no one to say she cant better herself once the baby is born. After a few years she may finish school, go to college, get a good job. It's not fair to say she will ruin her life, bc this may better her.
Now, I can understand how u feel. I am 25 and my sis is 18. She got preg before me, and at first it bothered me sooo much that she was preg. first. However, I start to think about WHY i have no kids yet and its because i dont want them just yet and I want to be financially stable first. I want to travel more first. So eventually, me figuring out that im not ready for kids, made me be able to handle my sis situation better. Im am disappointed she got preg so young, but I pray that God will help her and I will always be there for her.
Your cousin needs all of your love and support right now. What is the point of being jealous that she is having a baby first? So wat. When you have your baby, everyone will be happy and excited too and more proud because you waited and did things right. So leave the jealousy behind you and just be there for your cousin. It will get easier. Good luck and God bless! :)
2007-11-29 09:55:21 · answer #9 · answered by J. Lee 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Are you mad about it or disappointed? I'm glad you are one of the people that is concerned about raising children in this day and time. So you are concerned about your cousin and the baby, and don't see the world through the pink eyeglasses of a teenager, nothing wrong about that. There are many things that can go wrong. You seem like a good person, and being there for her will make her life and the babies better. You will get over being mad with time, and chances are there will be times in the future you will get mad all over. After all you don't got those pink glasses on :o)
2007-11-29 10:00:57 · answer #10 · answered by sabina-2004@sbcglobal.net 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋