Were your parents were much older than usual ?

Question

Ever since I can remember, my parents were too old to keep up with me . Their attitude was always "Why go out and have fun when we can stay home ?" . They griped and complained every time I wanted to go to the movies, or to another town . I didn't like that, and I swore I'd never put my children through that . NOW -- if your parents are older than most, what kind of an experience was that for you ? Did your parents push themselves to keep up with you, or did you have to have to sacrifice so your parents could take it slow and easy ? Did your parents gripe and complain whenever you wanted to have fun ? Was having older parents a good or a bad experience for you ? Do you think it's okay for parents to be old ? Are there any difficulties with having older parents that I didn't mention ?

Answer 1

My parents (actually my grandparents adopted me when I was 2) were much older than my friends parents. They couldn't do a lot w/ me, but they were always the ones taking me & my friends places like sledding, skating, movies, swimming, or whatever. I remember my mom standing at the top of the hill in the FREEZING cold while me & my friends would sled down the hill & she always brought hot chocolate for us! So although she couldn't participate, she was always there!! :) I miss her soooo much!!

Answer 2

My parents weren't old by today's standards, but I was born in the mid 70s, and they were 35 years old at the time, and were several years older than all of my other friends' parents.
My household was more uneventful than my peers' - they stayed in on weekends, were really into just getting stuff done around the house, tv, visiting grandma, watching Wall St Week and other boring PBS shows on Friday nights.
I remember wanting to go to McDonalds, and my parents moaning and groaning because, eew, McDonald's - why don't you eat some of this asparagus? Or not wanting to order a pizza for delivery because they just couldn't understand that there was no charge for delivery! Kind of out of the 'loop' on a lot of things. We were the last to get a VCR, we were the last to get the latest things because they were older and unaware. It was a boring childhood, but overall I can't complain. I was well taken care of.
I think the most annoying thing about having older parents was that they didn't understand what it was like to be your age, it had been a long time since they were that age and just had a hard time relating. They wanted you to learn from their mistakes, if that makes any sense. They know, they are wise, why can't you just take what they say as the truth? Kids have to explore and learn on their own, you can't always take what your parents know as gospel. They didn't get that. Kind of stuck in their ways, not too understanding that, no, I'm not a delinquent freak, most everyone wears safety pins in their pants. LOL.
I think it's okay to be older, but let your kids be kids. Take them to Chuck E Cheese and let them go nuts in there. LOL>

Answer 3

My mom was 39 and dad was 45 when I was born. Money wasn't a worry because they'd already established careers. But they were always too busy working to spend that much time with me. I had the same problem as you, my parents always complained when I wanted to go out with friends or to the movies. I see now that they were probably just too tired. When I was a teenager, they were at the later stages of their careers and would rather have quiet nights at home than go on a holiday overseas.

I also had a problem of being able to relate to my parents. They seemed so out of touch with the ideas and feelings of my generation. While I was worried about guys, they were pressuring me to concentrate on getting a good job. I think having older parents made me mature faster and be a little more reserved.
There was a lack of communication between us when I was growing up but it wasn't a terribly bad experience.

I think it's okay for people to wait until they're ready for parenthood, but they shouldn't wait TOO long. When I read about women who have kids in the 60s I feel quite sad. As I've gotten older, my relationship with my parents has strengthened. I wish I'd tried harder to empathize with them more.

Answer 4

My parents were older and I had a similar experience to yours. They were always too tired and too old to do anything. They were very old fashioned and really had no clue and didn't care about how things were different for us.

The thing about older parents too, now that I am older, is that although I am still young and have young children of my own to look after, my parents heath is failing and I am having to care for them too. I nursed my father through two years of cancer treatment before he died and now my mother has Alzheimer's disease.

I think parents now are older but they are better in health, have more energy and are generally more in touch with the modern world. I don't think anything is wrong with having children, when you are older if you really feel that you can keep up with them and be a good parent.

Answer 5

My parents were significantly older than all my friends parents. I didn't experience the low activity level you describe but here is what I do remember:
Pros- they were much more confident having been through it all before (three of my siblings were adults w/ children of their own before I was born), because they were more mature I think their marriage was stronger, more established. They were more open and flexible than other parents.
Cons- friends thinking they were my Grandparents, and dealing with "sandwich generation" issues such as death and elder care way before any of my peers are even thinking about it.
As far as being "OK"- not for anyone else to decide. But with late in life parenting you have to think about the possibility of not being around for your children as long as you'd like and consider what responsibilities you would be leaving them with if YOU needed care.
In a perfect world everyone would make sure they are physically, emotionally and financially healthy before bringing in a new life but I think these would be even more vital considerations for older parents.

Answer 6

my parents are getting older and we don't do anything. they do the same thing to me as your parents do to you. the worst part is having to hear stories about how the did everything fun with your older sister who is favored over both you and your brother. my mom took my brother and sister everywhere and the only places we go are to the mall... about once or twice a year, and to walmart... what fun right?

it sucks.

-Emily