Friend or no friend??

Question

I got married a little over a year ago. I invited a good friend of mine from high school to the wedding, We were good friends in hs but we didn't really see each other once we went off to college (only 1 or 2 tms in 4 yrs) however, remained in contact online here and there. I had told to her about the wedding before we even had an exact date..told her it would be in October sometime. I also sent out save the date cards.
Once invitations came out she replied with a yes for her and a date. Well, less than a week b4 the wedding she called me and told me that she was unable to come to the wedding due to work. (I still had to pay for her and her dates meal) I am was and still am very hurt by the situation. I sure as hell know that if she had gotten married I would have asked for that date off in advance. She was given months to take the day off.
She sent my hubby and I a wedding gift and I wrote her a thank you but she has not made any chance to contact me since then. What do you think?

When we talked online she would say stuff like that I am getting married and she hasn't even had her first boyfriend yet...sometimes I think she was just jealous and couldn't deal with it....other times I wonder if she was hurt I didn't make her a bridesmaid.

She was included in my shower and other parties I had related to the wedding. She came to the shower.

hmmm...you might be right....I never thought that if she really did have to work that maybe she was embarrassed about it and thought I hated her.

Answer 1

Sometimes things like work come up at the last minute. It's life. Should she have gone to your wedding and have gotten fired for doing so? How would YOU have felt if that happened. She does care, otherwise she wouldn't have sent a gift or attended the shower. Maybe she's embarrased and thinks you hate her now because she didn't attend your big day? What about her life too? If she was fired she could have lost her home, car, etc....look at the bigger picture besides your selfishness.

Answer 2

Thats the chance you take with having someone cater a wedding - you have to have a set number of people confirmed by a certain date...doesn't matter what happens afterwards.
I am sure that she wasn't the only person who had last minute change of plans.

The fact that you are still mad about it is just a waste of your time. You yourself said that you barely stayed in contact before you got married, so why be upset about not hearing from her now? She probably knows you are upset about her not coming.

If she made it to your shower and didn't to the wedding, I would say it wasn't intentional on her part. You need to get over it and stop holding onto things like this, its not worth your time.

Answer 3

she had the courtesy to send a gift so she may not be that bad--depending on the gift. also, you didnt say if she called out b/c she couldnt get the day off or....maybe something serious came up with work. if she is jealous...better she not come at all right?? if you care so much to write an essay about it...have you tried telling HER how you feel? you seem to care just that much.

Answer 4

At least she had the respect and decency to call you ahead and let you know she would not be attending. Her date may have cancelled and she was embarassed to come alone or maybe she really did have to work. Give her the benefit of the doubt and let it go!

Answer 5

maybe that she needed the money and could not afford it.
if she lives close go out for lunch and just talk it over.
maybe there was a crisis there was a crisis there.
well i think yall are the same way in high school only a little drifted.
keli

Answer 6

i think something serious just came up at work and she couldnt get out of it