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I started a new job three weeks ago and two people seem to have taken a dislike to me for some reason. One of them was shouting at me across the office for not doing something but I couldn't as the information required hadn't arrived. Today the boss called me in to ask why wasn't doing my work properly and said they complained about me. I explained the info hadn't arrived and said it was unprofessional for that person to shout at me across the office but that i wouldn't have mentioned it otherwise. I thought this was my dream job and these people are wearing me down with constant niggling. I haven't had any training on the computer system which is very specialised and yet they are moaning when I make a mistake. My previous job was senior but it was abroad. I took this job as I wanted to return home but now my life is a misery. They even made things up that the told the boss. I told him it was rubbish but why should he believe me over them? I don't want another job butwhat can I do?

2007-11-29 08:50:06 · 22 answers · asked by Daisy Chain 2 in Health Mental Health

22 answers

oh dear wot horrible people thay are , there wot you call in a click , and don`t wont any one to rock the boat ,belive me ive been there KEEP YOUR HEAD UP AND STAND YOUR GROUND , BE POSITIVE AND YOU GOT TO GET TO THE BOSS FIRST TO TELL HIM WHY YOUR WAITING FOR THINGS AND SO ON AND YES DONT` LET THAM SHOUT AT YOU ACROSS THE ROOM GO OVER TO THAM FACE TO FACE AND SAY THANKS FOR HELPING BUT YOUR NOT DEAF BUT THANKS ,AND SAY THINGS LIKE IT MUST OF BEEN AW-QUID WHEN THY FIRST STARTED TOO .YOU WONT THE JOB , YOU WONT TO KEEP IT ,MAKE A STAND SOME TIMES THINGS ARE TO BE LAUGHED AT TO SHUT THAM UP IF YOU CAN SORT IT YOUR SELF YOUR OK BUT IF YOU NEED HELP YOU WILL HAVE TO SEE SOME ONE THAT CAN LIKE H, R. OR IS THERE SOME ONE THAT WORKS THERE YOU CAN GET ON WITH ? YOUR BIGGER THAN THAM THERE JUST LITTLE PEOPLE , THINK POSITIVE .GET SOME POSTERS PUT UP IN THE HALL OR OFFICE ABOUT BULLY'S AT WORK IT IS AGAINST THE LAW AND YOU CAN TAKE THAM TO COURT IF IT CARRIES ON , AND THAY KNOW IT . X OH AND ME NOW , WELL PUT IT THIS WAY I WORK IN A BIG FACTORY THERE ARE NO CLICKS ANY MORE WE CHANGED ALL THAT ITS A HAPPY PLACE NOW GOOD WON OVER EVIL IN THE END X

2007-11-29 12:02:03 · answer #1 · answered by star 3 · 0 0

First of all - you need ot be sure of the expectations of the job - is it the one you want? Does it match the job you applied for? Are there changes you didn't expect? If so - these things will unsettle you and could make you feel nervous. If you are expected to work with complicated computer systems - to meet the expectations - you must have training - your workplace have a duty to provide you with this.

Today - make a list of the things that you do and don't like about this job.

Make a note of the incidents of bullying - the time - the place and the person concerned.

Write down how it made you feel.

You will need to say these things to your boss - be assertive, believe in youself and make an appointment. Rehearse - in other words - say these things out loud - in private - this will give you confidence.

Go in to see him/her with the list - if you have a trusted colleague - take them with you - are you in a union? If so, perhaps you could take a rep - but, in any case - you must be heard.

You can make an effort too - don't be afraid of your self - you are clever and able - you know you can do your job brilliantly. Put on your best smile - give everyone the best of yourself - walk taller - hold your head high - and allow yourself the right to respond in a way that helps you.

Never accept bullying. Verbal abuse is never acceptable and cannot be allowed to continue.

If you aren't happy after this, you can make other decisions.

But by looking at things in a different way - you will know you did all you could to make it work! Just be the star you are!

2007-11-29 23:12:22 · answer #2 · answered by silentium aqualis 2 · 0 0

Insecure people need to get something over on someone inorder to hind their own weaknesses in the game of one-up-on-you. People are usually targeted because they appear weak, low-self-esteem, or overly capable, which can just about include anyone. I would suggest giving the elusion of a support system, such as having a bunch of flowers sent with an impressive card. There is also such a thing as business who bring a person to one's home or office for a special message; anything which will show that you have support behind you. Of course, in some cases this could incite more jealousy, if there is jealousy of you in the first place. But if it's just a matter of those in the office thinking that you are weak or shy because you are new, then I'd suggest the former idea.

Regards,
~Milly

2007-11-30 09:28:53 · answer #3 · answered by Shofar-Quill 1 · 0 0

Tough spot to be in hey, reporting your issues to your boss is the right thing but they should be documented ask for forms on reporting incidents maybe through the HR dept if you have one. Dose your boss think there is a problem? if not then you are fighting an up hill battle. OHS is employers providing a healthy and safe work place be that mental health.ask about an employee assistance program to help council you through job stress. There are cases that have been won from people leaving jobs for this reason and the case was unjust firring because the employer refused to help the employee which forced them to leave. Hopefully reporting will make everyone see the light, nothing like having it in writing.

2007-11-29 09:02:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I would have approached the person who shouted, and been very firm, and said "Ted, I cannot begin the project until x, y, and z are here, but once that information arrives I will be right on it!" Bullies need to know, from day 1, that they cannot intimidate you, and by remaining passive, they feel they have you under their thumb. You need to remain calm, but stay firm- and stand up to them, with the facts. If one of the jerks questions you again, answer him/her, but also advise the boss: say, "Ted was asking about the Smith project, and I told him I'm waiting for x,y,z. I just wanted to keep you in the loop". He can't then be tattled to, and won't need to ask you about lies, since he'll know the truth in advance, from you.

2007-11-29 09:03:12 · answer #5 · answered by GEEGEE 7 · 1 0

I've been in my job for 10 years. I have fantastic supportive colleagues. When I started there I was given no support - the attitude seemed to be that if I felt that I was suitable for the job then I should get on and do it. I felt awful - I wanted guidance and support. Most of my colleagues say this is how they felt when they started. I hope we are getting better at supporting new colleagues, but sometimes we have to focus on the work at hand and supporting new people becomes less of a priority.
If you are working in a reasonable organisation, surely you will have the opportunity to discuss your job description and progress with someone. Please explain that you are doing your best, but that certain things are beyond your control or that you may need more time to learn their systems or whatever.
There is no excuse for bullying at work - it is illegal and if you feel this is the case please seek support from your union. On the other hand we all have our own idiosyncracies and need to get used to manging this in the work setting. I have started many jobs where people have seemed to be unsupportive and getting on my back at first, but it has always worked out. I do not like to think of anyone being bullied - that does concern me and I repeat that if this is the case seek advice of your union. Yet sometimes it takes time to work out the culture of the work environment. Remember, when you have started to feel comfortable you can change this culture.
I hope this job works out for you. People aren't always supportive of the new starter despite having been in the same position themselves. They may not intend to be nasty, their priority may be just to carry out the task at hand.
If it is a small organisation and is totally set in its ways, you may decide to take your talents elsewhere.
All the best.

2007-11-29 09:18:42 · answer #6 · answered by filmwatcher59 4 · 0 0

Your boss (if youre in the UK) has a duty of care to you, and that includes making sure bullies are dealt with. Have a word with the boss to say they are making you uncomfortable, are treating you unfairly considering youre untrained, shouting instead of dealing with matters professionally and properly etc. Dont go in mad or in tears, just be honest and straightforward. Tell your boss that you dont want to create a fuss by putting in a grievance and tackling it that way, and could he/she have a quiet word with them. That way theyll know that you know it cant be dealt with in a formal manner, but that your doing it informally so as not to get it put on their records. If theyve any sense theyll lay off you. If they dont then you might have to take the formal approach.

2007-11-29 08:57:36 · answer #7 · answered by jeanimus 7 · 1 0

Give them a thank you card and tell them how warm and welcoming they have made you feel, stick with it and let them slip up, because they will, also keep a diary of their behaviour towards you and show the boss when ever you are called in, keep the date and time of nasty behaviour towards you, if they start to shout go straight to the boss yourself before they do and complain about their attitude towards you

2007-11-29 08:59:34 · answer #8 · answered by JOANNE 2 · 2 0

Bullies consistently experience deeply inferior that's why they supply the effect of being for out somebody to p.c.. directly to purpose to deflect their own inferiority by using making somebody else seem worse off. additionally they supply the effect of being for a reaction. once you completely forget approximately approximately them, or much extra suited, snort at them and walk away shaking your head, that willpersistent them nuts and in the event that they are not getting an strengthen out of you after mutually as they are going to end. I kinow, i replace into picked on all the way by using college from 2d grade each and every of ways by using severe college.

2016-10-09 22:33:47 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

my experience with bullying in the workplace is standing up for yourself, if they make comments about you then confront them, if they do get nastier then you could take it further speak to the manager and if he/she isn't any help than you can call citzens advice and they can guide you to the next steps,
most of all don't let them get to you, they obviously are very self centred individuals that haven't got much of a life, show them that you won't take any of there s**t
good luck

2007-11-29 08:58:23 · answer #10 · answered by mizzmamma 5 · 0 0

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