I'm not a very religious person myself, but I have realised that my sexuality has become a bit too much for me to handle, let alone for my partner(s). No, I'm not addicted to sex, but I'm *this* close to becoming such.
So I made a resolution to refrain myself from ANYTHING and EVERYTHING sexual, but I'm already failing ~cries~ I just can't help thinking about doing somebody. Please pardon my language, but I'm really under pressure and can't help myself.
My question would be how do you cope with the rules of your religion regarding sexuality? Like, for example, most Christians and Muslims consider pre-marital sex a sin. How do you guys acomplish that? I so envy you on your strength of will.
2007-11-29 08:35:13 · 27 answers · asked by Poppy Pickette AM - VT 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Wow! Great responses, thanks guys :)
~spanks Zey Bone for feeding her appetite :P~
2007-11-29 08:52:50 · update #1
I was a virgin when I married.....just a small regret....
I actually envy you for your experience and liberty or freedom....
globally, your faith should rest and give you peace in the notion that your creator loves you no-matter what....ever have a parent or close family member treat you this way?.....take this concept to perfection and that is what your Creator has for you...
my own 2 cents would argue that some of these sexual restrictions are fairly new, and manmade to religious theory....not divinely appointed ....but that's for you to explore...
2007-11-29 09:17:35 · answer #1 · answered by bluesbrother74 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
It's a mindset. If you don't have the sociological background to see the boundaries between social respect, casual affection and intimacy, it will be very hard to tell them apart. For you, sex is casual, so what is "intimate"? Do you see the problem?
Some people draw the boundaries very tightly, keeping everything sexual in the "intimate" category and leaving almost no room for "casual". Others have few or no boundaries. And most people, I imagine, have a firm (if undeliniated) idea of what acts go in which category.
Of course, people don't all agree on the boundaries. One person's warm gesture could be another's sexual assault. So it's up to your partner as much as you. You both have to understand what change is being proposed and why. Otherwise, you may be hearing, "Why are/aren't you doing this? Don't you love me?" because of the misunderstanding.
Regular indulgence in a special pleasure makes it ordinary. Too much sugar, grease, alcohol, pot or sex is not good for you. That's the theory behind abstinence. Without a little withdrawal, tolerance builds up and the endless search for the next high goes on and on, throwing the psyche/spirit further out of balance.
Keep in mind, religious people are human. One way of coping with a self-imposed rule is hypocrisy, breaking it on occasion while still honoring it in public. But having the rules and practical reasons for them helps one keep them. Sometimes the reason is avoiding a penalty. (That keeps most people from violating traffic laws.) Sometimes the reason is the cultivation of the pleasure of anticipation or discrimination. One saves the pleasure for a special occasion or a special person. (Note the word "special", much nicer than "ordinary".) You're going to have to figure out what your rules and reasons will be, and then you'll have to instruct (or find) a partner who can share them. The goal is control of your life. The method is up to you.
Keep in mind, there are many other ways of showing affection than sex. Try developing some of them. Note also that talking with a partner ABOUT sex is usually much harder than sex itself.
2007-11-29 09:07:06 · answer #2 · answered by skepsis 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Well for one it's not just about religion. It's about a moral compass.
As far as how to refrain from doing it. Busy your mind with other things, ie studing about your favorite subject, read a book, take up a new hobby.
Also dont put your self in a situation for these things to happen. Do group dates and make sure a female friend takes you home.
Now most would say i'm nuts but, one of the things that helped is pleasuring my self. It kept me from going out and looking for someone. In the begining it was done almost daily, by the time i got married it was once in a great while. It also taught me what kind of touch i enjoy and made me more aware of how i wanted my husband to touch me.
2007-11-29 08:44:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
Oh my gosh, for starters I hope its only one partner. You must realize the danger out there. You know, if a person is infected with STD they won't tell. Remember that. It is extremely hard to cope with an active hormone but there is hope. As what the others say, you need to focus on anything that is heavenly spiritual. I know its hard. Many here will definitely not agree with what I tell you but I will tell you. When you got that strong urge and you just can't get a grip on it, you just have to release it. I am not saying to think dirty or masturbate, but just let it go spontaneously. You know what I mean. Its better to do it like that then to go and "do it" with someone else and pay the consequences for the rest of your life with a disease. A strong urge like that needs to be released in a healthy way. I hope you understand what I mean. May peace be upon you.
2007-11-29 08:58:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Mariam Magdalene can be the worst and supposedly hopeless case when Yahushua rescued him and taught him to ask forgiveness to Yahweh.
IF you are a believer, you will depend on Yahweh's Holy Spirit, the way Yahushua depend on it on the temptation he gone through. It's a matter of self discipline. It's like avoid burping loud when you are eating.
No person can change their bad lifestyle alone. You have to BEG for Holy Spirit to guide you. Always pray hard. If ever you feel hot next time pray and take a bath. No kidding, I am like that before. Lastly, you must get married with somebody you love so that you can have a wonderful sex and family life.
2007-11-29 08:50:10 · answer #5 · answered by Ramuel 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You know, It's not as if all us atheists sleep around. I never thought it was a good idea to fool around much at the height of the aids epidemic so I waited to find someone I really liked before I did anything and I eventually married that person. It wasn't a problem and I don't think I exercised any feats of will. You just make a decision and stick to it. And don't think I'm not very sexual -- I can't get enough .
2007-11-29 08:44:02 · answer #6 · answered by dddbbb 6 · 6⤊ 1⤋
why is it so wrong to enjoy sex? dont feel guilty. just have safe, sane and consensual sex and everything should be fine. religions are too old for this modern world. let love controls your sexual life, not some thousands of years old book.
in modern world we use birth control. thousands of years ago they didnt had any birth control, so they got babies and a baby needs both parents, so they set a rule that you have to marry to have sex. now this is over, we can use birth control now. then its also about STD. they put a rule that two people should be together and not cheat each other. well today we go for a STD test and see if someone has it or not. we can even use condoms today!!!! and a person can be born with STD and they dont know that they have it. a religion tells you if someone has STD? thats why we do tests today.
religions are too old for this modern world.
2007-11-29 09:06:43 · answer #7 · answered by baywatch 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Sexual desire IS one of the most powerful forces... That I believe God created....and the purpose is for Pro-creation.... This is for the purpose of "making babies"... although recreational sex isn't too bad either.
However, sex should be maintained in a healthy marital bond.
Controlling ones self??... well I do understand your problem. I think if I were young again.. and with all the STD's out there.... that would certainly help me control my desires.
That being said... if you desire the strongest possible bond between you and your spouse... don't throw yourself away....
Ok this is where I make a personal admission... My wife and I waited until we were married... it was tough but we succeeded. And our bond was very strong.... I am 58... sadly my wife died...and I do miss her...
And over the years.. I have talked with those who have not been... as chaste.. and I heard sadness in their hearts and voices because they didn't wait.
Best advice.. talk to someone you trust on this issue.. perhaps they can help over come some of your feelings..
Blessings to you..
2007-11-29 08:52:48 · answer #8 · answered by Looking UP 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Good question. I have just made a covenant with Heavenly Father (God) by giving up a "loving" common-law relationship of 7 years, and keeping the Law of Chastity. This was so that I could prepare my body to house the Holy Spirit at Baptism, and the Holy Ghost at Confirmation.
If my man wants me again, he will have to marry me, first. The Holy Spirit can only live in a clean body. We can all feel the spirit from time to time, but it cannot stay until we treat our body like a home. I also gave up smoking, drinking (alcohol) and caffeine. Nothing goes into this body that should not go into a pregnant woman, whose body is a home for her child.
2007-11-29 08:45:40 · answer #9 · answered by D L R 3 · 2⤊ 3⤋
I don't know if it's 'strength of will' exactly. For me, it's mostly God's grace. I'm as tempted as anybody, maybe more than some. But the Lord gave me a GREAT wife (32 yrs in June) and He has helped me recognize and stay out of situations where I'd lose control.
Oddly enough, I don't find that praying about the temptation helps all that much. Probably because it keeps the temptation at the forefront of my thinking. Instead, I ask God for something else to think about, a distraction. Very often, that means getting alone and immersing myself in my Bible.
2007-11-29 08:42:59 · answer #10 · answered by r_moulton76 4 · 5⤊ 3⤋