I see all the time on Y!A "Me & my boyfriend" or "me & my fiance" - as someone in their late 30's (not religious either), I feel like my grandma when having to ask this question...
Sure there are situations out there where someone doesn't want to be married and just wants to have a kid or maybe if you are gay & can't legally be married...
Sorry if this offends some, I just don't get it - my wife & I planned for all 3 and before that, a box of condoms and birth control pills doesn't cost all that much...
Is this the same in other countries outside the USA also, would like some answers from the international community as well.
2007-11-29 08:20:44 · 26 answers · asked by orangecat 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Amanda Nicole - yes there are extreme cases and your situation (as a know it all) I would bet the majority of people out there that are having kids aren't using 2 types of birth control...
2007-11-29 08:34:58 · update #1
Married & planned both babies too. I'm wondering the same thing....
2007-11-29 08:24:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 0⤋
I got married July 7, 2007. During our honeymoon was our first "try" to get pregnant. After 2 more tries we got it right and I am now 14 weeks pregnant due May 28, 2008.
I am also a little bit frustrated as well with the people that take having kids lightly as if it no big deal. I know that isn't true for everyone and some people are really great parents. My husband and I had nearly a 3 year engagement. My parents said I had to finish college - which was the right thing to do. So from May 2007- May 2008 I graduated college, got married, and will have a baby!!!!
I have some friends that were married when they got pregnant. I also have some friends that were engaged or were dating when they got pregnant. And yes, the ones that were dating or engaged were on birth control. It isn't 100%. But they all got married right before the baby arrived and everyone is living happily every after!
2007-11-29 08:31:51 · answer #2 · answered by Corbin's Mommy 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I was married for 4 years before I became pregnant with my hubby and I's first child. I think we were the only ones we knew that did. What gets me is the questions people ask. I.E. Is your son you and your husbands? Aren't you a little young to be a mom? Not like I am 14. Hello I am late 20's. Oh and my favorite, Were your parents upset when you told them you were pregnant? WHAT?!?!?! I was married. There was also the common, So you got married for the baby? I was married for awhile before. Someone asked my husband once if our son was his from a previous marriage. I mean people are just down right rude. I used to watch my three nephews while I was pregnant and you should have heard the things people would say.
2007-11-29 08:34:52 · answer #3 · answered by M 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Personally I don't believe in marriage, so hence I didn't get married before having my children. My partner and I are quite happy being in loving and committed relationship without a piece of paper. We have been together 8yrs and have two children and are currently expecting our third.
So I cant really judge others for their choices in life. And sadly not all contraception is always effective for everyone (some people are just extremely fertile) and yes others may make a mistake but at least they are responsible enough to own up to it and carry on with their lives and lovingly care for and raise their children.
Can you imagine what the world would be like if all those unmarried couples were forced to abort or adopt because they weren't married?
I think what really matters is that a child has a healthy and loving home whether they have two unwed parents, married parents or a single parent or gay parents. What matters more a child's health and well being or someones sense of morality?
2007-11-29 08:52:46 · answer #4 · answered by Monkey Magic 6 · 3⤊ 2⤋
I am a single parent of a 9 year old boy. I was using birth control at the time that I conceived him. I am one of the rare 1% cases that happen. The man I was engaged to for 2 years decided that my choice was either to have an abortion or it would be the end of our relationship. I would agree that it is better for all to have a stable home with both mother and father but it does not happen that way all of the time. I have chosen to not date until I have raised my son because I do not want to bring men in and out of his life, I want him to have stability. I have a college education, great job and we live a plenty good life so I think it really depends on each person and what the situation is.
2007-11-29 08:48:41 · answer #5 · answered by Chrystal D 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I totally agree and feel like I'm the rebel because I waited to get married to get pregnant. I just didn't want to be like all my friends and my mom!! My husband and I were married for over a year before we got pregnant. But I admit, we stopped using birth control right after we said our vows!
2007-11-29 08:53:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I completely agree! I wonder myself. Seems like just about everyone I know has kids and is not or never was married or even engaged before having them. What happened to settling down before having kids. You'd think it would be more stable for the child.. And yea', birth control is $12 a month. How hard can it possibly be.
2007-11-29 08:29:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
this is such a hard question becuase i agree and disagree, im gay, just got married to my beautiful wife and we are trying for a baby, i NEVER wanted to have a child before i was married, its just not right in my eyes, (although i know a child growing up with two mums is not the norm, our child will know how much we went through to make him/her and how loved he/her is)
HOWEVER.....
I also understand why people want to get pregnant before getting married, my friend has two beautiful sons, her and her boyfriend are happily living together, marriage just..... isnt for them, in his words' if i believed a piece of paper could make me love her more i would do it, but it doesnt, i cant love her anymore' how can you ever say thats not deservant of respect.... marriage or no marriage
2007-11-29 08:43:55 · answer #8 · answered by lisadepont 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ya I don't get it either...
My husband and I were married for four and a half years before we even thought of kids...and even then...once we decided it was time...we had a plan, and stopped using protection and started eating right and no drinking and we both got in shape...
I know accidents happen...but jesus...this is ridiculous.
I think the moral fabric of this country is so deteriorated ....that anything goes now a days and no one holds any value in the concept of marriage..."so since it doesn't matter...why wait?" seems to be the frame of mind....
I don't know...I feel ancient thinking this way too...but things really have gone crazy in this planet of ours...
2007-11-29 08:28:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 1⤋
well i know i am not exactly in the category since im a lot younger, but i am getting married to my daughter's father, just havent gotten everything set up yet. i know i should have waited and got married before having kids, but with my situation i was raped and got pregnant with my first daughter. and then with my second, it was honestly a bad situation that had a good outcome, i love my daughter, but i was drunk and cant remember what i did that night when i got pregnant with her. and yes i regret getting drunk but i dont regret my daughter. and now i am with her father seriously. we decided to give it a chance adn i really find that i love him and want to marry him. we just did some of this backwards, got pregnant and had a kid then get married, its all fine.
2007-11-29 08:30:22 · answer #10 · answered by Lil mzz green eyez 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My mother and father were not married when I was conceived, and I was a planned baby. They actually didn't get married until a week after my tenth birthday. I'm sixteen now, and they've been together for twenty years[and eight days] and they are still madly in love. I would be okay with having children before marriage, its not that big of a deal in my family.
2007-11-29 08:32:01 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋