Is it wrong for a married christian to watch porno? i am pregnant also...?

Question

i just discovered a bunch of videos on my husbands computer. i feel betrayed because he is the sweetest husband and i am confused. is this cheating at least mentally? i am very very very pregnant and am afraid to confront him i dont know how we have never really fought before. he is a good husband. we are devote christians as well. i dont think this is okay for him to be doing.

Answer 1

You need to confront him gently about it. and go to counseling this is a serious addiction. I am married and i understand how you feel. Its a very private thing and i am sure he will be ashamed encourage him that you are all he needs and read scriptures about it. ask him if he would consider counseling. tell him to seek God cause God can help him overcome. Blessings to you and your new baby and your husband

Answer 2

Pornography is scripturally unsound and is a sin. All sins are equal in the eyes of God with the exception of blasphemy of the Holy Spirit. Depending on who you talk to, that means either cursing His spirit or denying His existence. Your husband can be forgiven of the sin of pornography by the Lord, but will you be able to forgive your husband? Have a talk with him and tell him how you feel. It hurts, but you two can overcome this if you work together and seek the Lord's help if you both have the desire.

Answer 3

Is he hurting anyone by watching videos that most mature adults in Western culture have watched at least at some point in their lives? How long has it been since he himself got to engage in any of that kind of activity? Don't you think it's better that he enjoy a few harmless videos on his computer than finding a more "realistic" outlet elsewhere? Has it affected his relationship with you or his feelings for you at all? My wife and I watch videos like that together, and if anything they merely enhance our relationship (in the physical sense, of course). Adopting a prudish stance for the sake of being prudish--and making your husband feel guilty when he hasn't done anything wrong--isn't a good thing to do.

EDIT: The amount of thumbs-down I'm getting suggest that most of your other answers are very immature and judgmental, and see fit to pass judgment on others whom they don't even know. There's a difference between an addiction to porn, and just watching it from time to time. The earlier answer who pointed out the example of a glass of wine occasionally versus a bottle of Jack Daniels every night made a good point, and really, porn is much the same. If you were to watch it together, let it get you both in the mood as well as give you two ideas for each other--there's no harm in it. If he watches it so much that he doesn't pay attention to you and your sexual lives go down the toilet--that's when it's a problem. Many Christians either can't tell the difference or refuse to acknowledge a difference. Other Christians are more sensible (and mature) about it. It is neither unhealthy nor a sin in and of itself; it would be if it were an addiction, just like any other addiction would be. Be an adult and learn to tell the difference, and don't let immature and holier-than-thou opinions of others cloud your judgment as a mature adult.

This is something that you and your husband need to sit down and talk about, and something you both need to come to an understanding and agreement about. The opinions of others are irrelevant.

Answer 4

Yes, I'm sorry, it is a sin, because of the lust factor.

But no, I don't think it's cheating. My husband watches porn, too.

Don't confront him. Do talk to him about it. Just sit down with him at a time when you're both comfortable, and talk to him about it in the same way you'd talk to him about the weather. Don't attack him. Try to keep your voice level, and calm.

While it is a sin, and I'm sure you'd prefer him not to look at it, the best thing you can do is pray over it. And also bring up that being a Christian, he should be praying about it too.

I wish you luck.

Answer 5

First, to make sense of it for you. He has the videos because he wants you and is not getting enough of you. It is a way to channel his lust and meet his needs that tries to avoid hurting you or pressuring you too much. He doesn't want you to feel bad about yourself.

Second, to consider its moral uprightness. Lust is a natural instinct. What matters is how you control it. You're married and that is the traditional way to channel that instinct. But what happens when your libidos are mismatched?

My wife and I are Christians and we keep our thoughts on this out in the open. We both consider both masturbation and porn conceptually inocuous. Masturbation because it is another way to channel lust, especially useful in the absence of a partner or when libidos are mismatched. The age-old stigma against it comes from a long tradition of celibate men who viewed lust incorrectly as inherently evil and to be suppressed. There are zero verses in the Bible about masturbation.

As far as porn goes, even Western people used to have sex in front of each other, in front of the kids, etc. (Feudal Europe had some living arrangements that by today's standards would be child abuse!) It's not a new thing to be able to see nude people, or see them engaged in sex and to then feel turned on by it. That's been going on all along. What concerns us about porn is actually the people in the video. You are not watching people enjoying a health sexual relationship and you have no way of knowing to what extent the people are being exploited or to what extent it is hurting them spiritually to be involved in that action.

But our sexual attitudes are different even among hard core Christians than they were back in Biblical times. Women weren't supposed to have orgasms (some cultures still castrate young girls' clitorises for this reason) and romantic love was a trifle, only economically arranged acquisition of sperm receptical wives mattered. So it's tempting to read a Christian defending porn and cry heretic, but trust me when I say we're far better off now than we were and I do not say this without theological basis. Hell, in Paul's day no one expected there to be another generation, sex was not needed for procreation when they expected an imminent Second Coming (no pun intended). Christianity survived that not through sex but through proseltyzing. But we kept those silly interpretations until the celibate men said it was okay to screw as long as we didn't like it.

If you would like to challenge his use of porn (practically speaking, a bad idea given that it is one of the best ways to prevent a marital rift or affair over sexual differences) then tell him you are concerned not about porn itself but about the fact that the people involved in making it are sinning and are likely exploiting the women in it. What does it say about a person's soul and self esteem when they engage in some of the things you find in porn? Even better, tell him you guess this means he has unmet sexual needs that you want to fulfill for him (and if you can't say that I'd stay quiet).

Anyway, the important thing to highlight, again, is that it is not a slight against you. It is almost exactly the opposite - a hidden pressure release valve to keep from hurting you or straying in reality.

Answer 6

Yes, viewing porn, whether married or not, is not pleasing to God. It is of the flesh, not the Spirit. Porn is very addictive, and can easily suck men in. I do not know either of you, so it would not be my place to give you specific advice. I would suggest talking with your pastor about it, confidentially, he may help in confronting your husband concerning this sin, in a loving, gentle manner.

Answer 7

Mat 5:28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

You are allowed to point this out to him and tell him how what he is doing is adversely affecting you. Do not fight about it. Just point it out.

Just remember only God is perfect.

Answer 8

yes, it is very wrong...spiritual and emotional adultery...it is promoting the exploitation of those in the industry also....

this is not good Christian behavior...it is a very unkind thing to be doing behind your back during this "family"time...

he needs counseling...both of you can go to counseling...


clean the computer!!!

I lost my husband to that trash....he is an ex now.....it was more important that anything else in his life....


no it is not normal behavior of men...no it is not fun for the wife to watch with the husband....

Answer 9

If you are very, very very pregnant then it's probably been a while since you did anything that might have gotten you that way. Men need to flush the system periodically, not to do so is unhealthy. It's better that he's using internet porn to help rather than the lady down the street, don't you think?

Answer 10

It depends.

First, let's start with men. Men like to look at naked women having sex. This is not about love, it is about men and sex. If he loves you and has never given you any reason to doubt his love, this certainly isn't a reason to start.

Now, as far as pronography, the easiest way to look at it is like drinking. A little wine on occasion is not anything to be concerned about, it can even be good for you.
However, a liter of Jack Daniels every night is a serious problem.

Also, drinking alone can lead to problems. Offer to watch with him. This should reveal if he is comfortable with his decision and put your worries of being betrayed aside.