Could she have lost her mind?

Question

My aunt died of a stroke six days ago. The funeral was today. Her daughter, my cousin loved her a great deal. When my uncle called her to tell her the bad news, she came home immediatley but never acted upset or shed a tear. My whole family came together to make arrangements, and there were some heavy moments when everyone was a mess with emotion, but not her. I asked her if she needed a hug or to talk but she resisted kindly. She seemed almost oblivious to the fact that her mother was dead. Her actions were quite odd; she was calm and collected during the wake, and the next day for the funeral mass she was pleasant even though it was cold and pouring rain. I stuck by her all through the ceremony. It wasn't until we all laid flowers on my Aunt's casket that she began to laugh. It wasn't just laughing-it turned to uncontrolable sobs and heaves. It's like she just cracked and lost it. I drove her home after the episode and she laid down. Should I take her to a doctor? I am very worried!

I think she had a nervous breakdown

Thank you all for such helpful advice. You are all blessed for giving me the time of day to hear me out. My cousin is fast asleep. I think she needs some rest. I will continue to monitor her for the next few days.

God Bless you all. I know my Aunt is smiling down right now. She was such a lovely woman. Only 45 years old.

Answer 1

It wouldnt hurt to take her to the Dr.
She held it in when she couldnt handle it and it took its toll on her. She might need some medication, but let the Dr decide that.

Answer 2

She probably did have a nervous breakdown. Your cousin was concentrating on giving your aunt a dignified farewell. She didn't have time to reflect on her feelings or let the reality set in. I didn't cry until the wake of my father's funeral. The best thing you can do for your cousin is be available. I would wait a week or so, then give her a call and take her out to eat. Only time and care will help her get through this. I don't think a Dr. needs to intervene unless her she is sooo sad that she can't get through her day. If you see weight loss/gain, anti-social behavior, thoughts of suicide, get help immediately. I am sooo sorry to hear about your families loss.

Answer 3

oh no hun, ive experianced it, when you start laughing its usually when you have just faced a moment in your life when you think "i did not expect this, not now, not now..." ive had it before, ive done the exact same thing as her. she is fine, yes she had a tragic episode, but after a few months it will be like that day never happed

1. Denial and Isolation. - "she resisted kindly. She seemed almost oblivious to the fact that her mother was dead"
2. Anger. - "I stuck by her all through the ceremony" you probably made her push out of denial and u angered her because now it isnt a dream
3. Bargaining. - begging and pleading to god for various emotional problems
4. Depression. - insane bawling, sometimes laughter
5. Acceptance. - i wish ur cuz the best

Answer 4

I am sorry for your family and I can understand the actions of your cousin in her grief very, very well. I didn't go to South Korea to be with the rest of my family in escorting my daughter's remains back to California. I didn't attend my sister's funeral either. I totally just "lost it" after all the family deaths that I experienced in just 3-years and 8-months . . . 10 (ten) in all. Please understand that we all grieve differently . . . Actually, while I was attending my mother's funeral, my daughter died from a brain tumor, within a week after her being diagnosed. No matter what it appears on the surface, it may be total turmoil inside. Make sure that you never turn your back on your cousin. You must love her or else you would not care to ask this question.

Answer 5

This is a normal reaction to the loss of a loved one. I'm sure she's upset about it, but she may resist showing her emotions in front of everyone. Also sometimes people go first into a denial state, which is okay. If she stayed in that denial state for a long time she might need to go talk to a therapist but I think she just needs time. Make sure she knows that you're there if she probably needs time alone to deal with her emotions so give her space also.

Answer 6

Everyone grieves in different ways. It probably took until the time you laid flowers on the casket that it sunk in. Laughing isn't an uncommon response. I remember at one time I went to a friend's funeral and had one random thought that sent me into hysterics during the funeral. My thought was "Thank God he lost his virginity first!" The whole thing was completely inappropriate but unbidden. It was the start of my grieving process for that friend.

I would suggest you keep an eye on her. If she starts to have total disregard for herself or others, there may be something more serious going on with her. But from your description, she'll be alright. She'll just need to mourn in her own time, in her own way.

Answer 7

everyone has their own way of dealing with grief and the sudden trauma of losing someone they loved dearly. she may have been thinking of some happy moments she had with her. grief is not only saddness, it's a whole mix of emotions. she might be laughing today, the next, she might be crying the whole day.

and it takes time. you can't expect your daughter to accept the loss right away or in a couple of days. she can take all the time she needs to deal with her emotions and loss. just try to be supportive by letting her know that you'll always be there whenever she needs to talk or a shoulder to cry on.

Answer 8

I'm sure right now is just a very difficult time for her and the pain has yet to sink into her right now, or it has sunk in and she doesn't know how to show it!!! Just give her a couple of weeks and make sure to pay close attention to what she is doing, if things don't get better or they get worse, ask her if she wants to talk to somebody to get some things off her chest!! When someone dies of a stroke, it's unexpected so just give her time and the support she needs and she will pull through!!

Answer 9

We all deal with our grief in different ways. When my mother was brutally murdered, I held together okay on the outside but I was like in a walking coma. My body functioned but my mind was turned off. I stayed like that for over a year. Please watch her. Maybe after a while she will come out of it on her own and come back to life. But she may need help dealing with her grief. Since you know her you will be able to notice the changes in her. Being a loving support right now is a big help. She is blessed to have family in her time of loss.

Answer 10

She is mourning the death of her mother. There is no such thing as an abnormal reaction (unless she is trying to hurt herself or others).

Just keep an eye on her. This is probably the greatest loss she has suffered so far and it will take some time to deal with it.

Answer 11

Poor girl, it hit her at the end of the day. She'll be alright, she sounds very strong. But maybe the doctor can give her a sedative, something to relax her if she keeps having these spells. Your mother passing away is a big blow to a person. I have always hoped that I outllive my children. Check on her and be a friend to her. God Bless you both.