I have recently been told that I have developed a heart of stone. Everyone knows that it is because I have been hurt before but no one seems to realize that I need to protect myself from heart breaks. What are your thoughts, do heartbreaks make you harden your heart or do you take the risks and still allow people in who could possibly do it again?
2007-11-29 07:39:28 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Man this question hits home with me .I thought I was married to the perfect woman we both had good jobs 3 kids,nice things and one day she just took off with another guy .Left me with 3 kids 4,7,8years old.Did not see her for a year but she called me after being gone a month and said sorry she was just not cut out to be a mother and wife .I raised 3 kids by myself .They are now 18,17,and15,and in collage or on the way.I had that heart of stone big time and refused to ever be hurt again. One female friend of mine that was all ways there for me and I dated on and off was kind of special but I refused to get closer with her of the chance of going through all that again even though my heart felt it was right.Anyway I realized I had to move on and she is now my wife that could of been many years back.Everybody gets hurt and it sucks but maybe it's cause your meant to be with someone else. Be care full and go slow but don't let your possible soul mate slip away.It all most happen with me.
2007-11-29 08:02:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Being in a similar situation, I would say that protecting your heart is not a bad thing, but not allowing anyone in is also not good. It takes time but you shouldn't be afraid to take a risk...when you're ready. Only take a risk if you think it's worth it and if you're going to start a relationship, let the person know upfront that you have been through some heartbreak and that it'll take you a little time to open up. If they want to be with you and if they are worth it, they will stick it out until you are ready. I was with a guy for 2 years and found out that he was cheating on me with over 10 people. Most of whom i knew (worked with or were mutual friends). After that, I was very closed. I didn't want to let anyone in. I met a guy who wanted to date me but i just wanted to be friends with him because I wasn't ready. Well he waited...6 months actually and we've been together for 2 years now and he was completely understanding throughout the entire process. It'll pass :)
2007-11-29 07:49:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Quite honeslty, I've had a heart of stone since I was about 4 years old, and my parents let me know it.. and I was okay with it.
For some reason, when I meet someone special, my heart used to thaw. It wasn't so bad.. until it froze again. After that, I realized it was meant to be in a freezer for the rest of my existance.
But don't let that get you down, that's just what I've decided will be best for me. I think you need to decide what's best for you, and if you feel like a risk is worth it, never back down because of fear of getting hurt.
2007-11-29 07:44:40 · answer #3 · answered by ♫ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is understandable that you have built up a wall after being hurt. It is sad to think of never allowing yourself to be open to happiness and love. Maybe the person or people who have hurt you in the past should not be allowed in for a second attempt but you could meet new people who you don't have a history with
2007-11-29 07:43:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A "heart of stone" prevents you from connecting with other people. It can make you insensitive to their feelings. It is hard to be vulnerable when you've been hurt before, but you need to find a balance between watching out for yourself and being open with the people around you.
2007-11-29 07:42:47 · answer #5 · answered by truefirstedition 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
risk factor: 10!!!! the real problem is not people breaking your heart but you breaking your own heart, having trust in people or people that you love is just part of being human its your life and you might not have a second chance of getting your heart broken 10 times more.......something like that
2007-11-29 07:44:57 · answer #6 · answered by coyoteskin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
heartbreaks teach you to harden your heart until one day you wake up and realize that you really do want to be loved. It s a process called life
2007-11-29 07:44:10 · answer #7 · answered by nyjae 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its wrong to have a heart of stone because you will miss out on some beautiful loves.
2007-11-29 07:44:33 · answer #8 · answered by ♥Šωèé†íé♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can relate totally to your sentiments. I'm 65 years old and still guard against heartbreak. It's made me not just a cynical old man, but a relatively unhappy one as well. Let love in, I guarantee you won't be sorry.
2007-11-29 07:46:24 · answer #9 · answered by 428 Moore 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, as the song goes "the first cut is the deepest" so I think its fairly normal to be guarded after being hurt. I know I am/was.
Just try not to become cynical about the world and the people you interact with. Its ok to be guarded, but dont be antagonistic.
2007-11-29 07:42:20 · answer #10 · answered by Phil M 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋