how to end a relationship?

Question

Ok so i have been wiht my bf for five and a half years and i wont to end it. Here is the reason he has cheated on me and lied bout it bout. But i saw him and he said iam lieing and hs new fling keeps calling me had to get her number blocked and know she uses his but he wont believe what a jerk. Any way i have tired telling him i dont wont to be with him but he wont accept it he keeps calling me nd comming over to my house i still love him but i cant take the lies. please help me i dont know what to do how do i end it i have never broken up with anybody b4. what should i say i have tired and he wont accept it. how do i end it before i get hurt more then i already am it also dont help i have depression any avice please it would really help.

ps no smart a.s.s remarks please

o yea he can look girls but he told iam not allowed to be friends with guys most of my friends are guys. he even flirsts with them in front of me

Answer 1

I'm sorry to hear that sweetie. You just have to put your foot down and tell him that it's REALLY over. Be persistent, tell him to go home if he keeps coming over and if you EVER feel threatened by him or his actions, call the police and get a restraining order. You deserve someone faithful to you :)

Answer 2

Document his calls, visits and any other contact so you have a record of what he is doing. After a couple of weeks of keeping records, send him a certified letter telling him he is not to contact you in any way evre again, that it is over. If he still bothers you, file a restraining order against him so he will get the message. Talk with a detective at your local PD to get advice on what all you need to do.

He will call you a liar and try to make you feel guilty because he knows he is guilty so don't let him get to you ~ stay firm and strong and find someone else who will treat you with love and respect and be thankful you found out about this guy before you married.

Good luck and sorry you ended up getting so hurt like this but I do admire your backbone :)

Answer 3

If he comes to the house again just be cold towards him and firmly say "Please stop coming to my house, you are harassing me and I will call the police if you keep coming here uninvited. I've told you it's over please accept it and move on". Don't engage in conversation with him anymore than this, just shut the door on him. Same if he calls your phone. Just say "I have nothing to say to you anymore, it's over" and cut him off. Just keep being firm and don't engage in conversation or it gives him hope. Hopefully he will get the message soon and back off because you are being consistent. I am sorry you hav suffered with depression, I have also has this and I know how horrible it is but in your case I am sure it was aggravated by your boyfriends behaviour. You are doing the right thing and valuing yourself and you know you can do better than him. It will hurt for a while but just keep telling yourself everyday that you are worth more and one day you will find it. x

Answer 4

You've already told him the reasons, you've already broken up with him by telling him you want to. That's the hard part.

Now you just have to stick to it, so he knows you're serious. Tell him you are finished with this relationship; you can't do this any more. When he comes over, don't let him in. When he calls, tell him it's over -- don't negotiate or explain or make excuses. You're done. End of story.

Be strong, woman. You're in the home stretch. All you have to do is stand your ground.

Answer 5

From your last remark, it seems to me that you have a complex problem with yourself and you need to say f*ck it when you feel like you are in between a rock and a hard place so my advice to you would be when you see him, tell him it's over and just have the courage to hike your leg up and let one rip!!! He'll get the picture!!!!

Answer 6

I would be polite but stern, make sure he knows that this time is for good. If he continues too push you then a restraining order may be a good idea.

Im sorry that you have too go through this, and you are going to be lonely for a while but you will get over it.

Answer 7

Somehow you need to say "Hey, I am breaking up with you". Then go into he cheated on you, lied to you, and you can't trust him anymore. Plus stay away from my house and me especially. Tell him that you are through with him and how you can't take it anymore. Talk to him and I know the words will come to you. Usually when you start talking it comes out with everything that you feel.

Answer 8

Well first I will say ending a relationship that has lasted for 5 1/2 years is a hard thing to do, especially if you still love him. Loving someone and leaving them is difficult. But your strong so you can do it. It is going to be hard so mentally prepare yourself for at least a few months of pain, find something that you enjoy doing and focus on it. For me I found someone else that I enjoyed spending time with and poured myself into that person. Luckily it was my older sister and her kids. I found myself spending lots of time with them going to the park or just doing all kinds of things with them. And most of all when your feeling lonely or when something comes along that reminds you of him and believe me that will happen alot, let those feelings out but don't call him. The easier way is to end it cold turkey you can't do it halfway you have to sever all ties even if it means changing your numbers not answering or blocking his emails and of course you have to call him over and tell him to his face, I love you but you have truly hurt me and I can not forgive you and I have to break up with you and I apologize if this hurts you but you hurt me and I can not get past it. So please to make it easier on both of us please respect my wishes and do not call me or come by my house and do not email me because I don't want to talk to you. I am tearing up just telling you this because I am not going to lie and tell you it will be easy because it is not at all easy. Five years is a long time and I know you just want to shake him and yell at him for hurting you but sometimes we screw up and don't realize what we have until it is gone. He may be a good guy but just not good enough for you. Best of luck and I have learned that you have to be hurt unfortunately a few times before you find your Knight. They say you have to have a little heartache and pain in order to truly appreciate him when he does come. Be strong and believe me your Knight is coming to save you and sweep you off your feet, you just have to sift through the crap before he is able to reach you!

Answer 9

Tell him it is over, you have no feelings for him and he needs to be an adult and leave you alone. Be polite but firm. Remind me that when a woman says no, she means no and if he choses to ignore that then he is harassing you.

Stand up to him. He is counting on wearing you down by staying in your life and pestering you until you give in. Best of luck.

Answer 10

Quite easy. Change your phone number and don't answer the door. His fling calls you? I would of given him such a kick on the a**, he wouldn't have been able to walk for a month! Don't go back to that piece of garbage!