Children and spanking?

Question

Do you agree with spanking children as a form of discipline or do you see it as child abuse? Have you found forms of punishment that actually work. Do you feel it should be a parental choice or against the law? Were you spanked as a child? Sorry for so many questions at once but I wanted some views on this issue. Thanks for all your answers.

Very interesting to see who you all have voted thumbs up and down. I appreciate all your thoughts on the subject, and I am aware this has been asked many times before but it has recently come into the news again as becoming unlawful in the USA (though they say it will not be).

Answer 1

I believe that spanking is a great form of discipline for certain events in life for others it's not so good and there's an age range where it is effective. It should be a parents choice to spank their child and that it shouldn't be against the law. I can say one thing though people are correct in order for it to be effective and for it to work you can't use spankings when you're upset, angry, etc.....
I don't think it is a form of child abuse unless it gets out of hand. I was spanked as a child and it worked well. Of course there are other forms of punishment that work well with each child, you have to remember every child is different just because one punishment works for one child it doesn't necessarily mean it's going to work on another. Also, I would never use a belt on my child. It would be with the hand or a wooden spoon that's it.


People who are anti-spanking like to say it causes other things such as lack of self-confidence, the only way to solve problems is with violence, etc........ From what I've seen if a spanking is done properly no child is going to think that and from experience I was never violent with anyone and never thought it was right to use it against anyone because my dad taught me that hitting someone is wrong and he also taught me how to manage my anger.

Self-Confidence is another story in itself and it has nothing to do with spankings even if the anti spanking group sites studies from surverys done by children who were spanked and who have low self-confidence it's a correlational study which means you can't deem causation from it.

The studies more then likely didn't take into account other factors that can lead to low confidence in a child. I can list tons of reason why a child would lack confidence in themselves such as being made fun of in school, being teased, harassed, negative thoughts that are put in their head from those people who are teasing them, etc........ In order for a child to really boost confidence in themselves is to change their thinking.

Answer 2

I was not spanked growing up, and although I never gave my mom any major problems, I know that there were definitely times when I needed to be spanked. I feel as if she was too easy, and let me get by with too much. That resulted in me doing things as a teen that I likely would have never done, had certain things been instilled in me (by spanking) when I was growing up.

Some children require spanking, while other children do not. I definitely would try other means of correcting the child before reverting to spanking, however there are times when spanking is necessary. I now have 2 children. My oldest child is one who pushes ALL the boundaries, and will often overstep them when she sees fit. No matter how much I tell her, or punish her (taking away privelages, adding extra chores, etc), she will continue to do what she wants to do. She definitely requires spanking at times. When I spank her, I don't usually have that same problem again. With her, I could talk and punish until I'm blue in the face, and she will continue to do what she wants until she either knows that she's going to get spanked, or she actually gets spanked. With her it's always a battle of wills. On the other hand, my youngest child is very sensitive, and it really hurts her feelings when I either verbally chastise her or punish her. She actually prides herself in being a good child. For the most part, all I need to do is talk to her or punish her in some form. She usually does not require spanking, and I could probably count the times when I've had to. It really depends on the child.

Spanking is definitely the choice of the parent. I personally believe that most children require spanking at one point or another. It definitely should not be against the law, because I believe what the Bible says, "spare the rod, spoil the child", and I don't think the law should interfere with a person's beliefs. Beyond that, if we don't correct our children effectively when they are young they will grow up to be unruly adults, and the police will have no problem BEATING them and or locking them up. With society in the terrible state that it's in, parents should most definitely have the authority to discipline their children in any manner (within reason and overall safety of the child) that they see fit in order to produce upstanding, productive, and morally sound adults.

Answer 3

I got spanked. The term they use in the south is beatings, so in the south, a beating and a spanking are the same. Anyway, they are very effective if used appropriately. It should be parental choice, and I can tell you ALL parents should spank from time to time. I taught Sunday School, and KNEW which kids got spanked at home, and which parents didn't believe in spanking. The kids who got spanked were well behaved, and the others were spoiled brats. I have spanked kids from time to time, but not while teaching Sunday School. It was always with parents permission. I never put up with a tantrum that lasted more than a minute or two. The kids got warnings first, then the third time was the charm. Those kids respected me. I also know not to babysit for those who don't believe in spanking, because I know I'll not get respect from those kids.

Time outs, the reward system, etc might work when a kid is three, but they stop working after a while. Just ask those who thought they were effective, until their kids got older.

What are you going to do when your kid takes your car without permission and hits another with it? Are you going to say no dessert, no stickers, or put them in a 5 minute time out? Probably. A spanking parent would make sure their kid gets what's coming to them. The kid will know not to do that again, because it doesn't want another spanking. A kid from an anti spanker might, because they'll know there's no real punishment. Taking priveleges away and grounding doesn't work after a while, either.

What are you going to do if you are at the beach or something like that, and your 5 yr old runs off, and you spend 20 minutes looking for them? Put them in a 5 minute time out? Tell them they can't make sand castles? Not much of a punishment there, huh? A spanking parent would make sure to smack their bottom so the child knows not to do it again.

Answer 4

good question, yes I was spanked infrequntly as a child, but yes. I have 3 children and I have spanked them because I really think sometimes it is the only thing that get acroos to them, now I am not talking about beating children, just a normal spanking but I do understand that some people take this way to far and abuse their children, which I definately do not agree with. I feel it should be a parental choice, but there are always circumstances, so this is kind od a tough question.

Answer 5

I feel that there is spanking and there is beating. BIG difference. Some children need a spank once in awhile and it is totally up to the parent. When they over step the boundaries then someone else has to step in. I was spanked as a child but I think it was excessive sometimes. I do not spank my children because there is no need to. Other forms of discipline seem to do the trick.

Answer 6

To me, it all depends on the way you spank. I do not think it should be against the law. There is a big difference between abusing your kids and spanking them. I was rarely spanked when I was a child but when I was I knew my parents meant business (and by spanked I mean a slap or two on the butt nothing else). And when I cursed I got soap in my mouth- I then knew not to curse. I hate when people become judgemental on this issue. Maybe if more people believed in punishing children (not only spanking but time outs etc) maybe we wouldn't have so many children screwing up and misbehaving. Too many people interfere with how others raise their kids. Whatever works for you and your kids.

Answer 7

Spanking is spanking. A spanking is a mere swat or two on the bottom, totally not constituting child abuse. There is no psychological nor physical harm from spankings. Abuse, on the other hand, leaves psych and physical scarring.

It's definitely parental choice, there is nothing against the law with spanking.

We spank our children, but only when they have done something very wrong.

Answer 8

I agree with spanking as child as long as your spanking them and not beating them, a lot of people don't know the differance... I spank my son on his diaper ... the diaper is thick enough that he doesn't really feel it but he knows he was wrong, he's 15 months and so far its the only form of discipline I have used other than time outs and telling him No... I don't have to spank him often though... Like I said he's 15 months so i warn him when he's doing something bad normally twice before spanking... First warning I just tell him no while he is doing whatever he is not suppose to do that way he knows what he's being hollered at for, second time I do the same thing as the first time, but I ask him "You want your butt busted"? Nine times out of then that works and he doesn't do it again... As he gets older I will do other methods like things away that mean something to him, but at 15 months I don't think he would really understand that yet and I have to do something so he doesn't think he can get away with whatever he wants, and if all I do is tell him no over and over again he'll realize thats all I'm going to do and he'll continue to do it.... I do think it's the parents choice though, and I don't tell people who say I dont spank my child that they need to or that they're wrong for it, and I don't expect people to tell me what to do with my son... If its your child, it should be your choice on how to disicpline them

Answer 9

I think spanking with belt is pure abuse. As for spanking, I spanked my son, he is the older of the 2, I spanked him when he was around 5/6. I think it hurt me worse than him. I was spanked, sort of made me scared of my dad, for fear of being spanked. I don't spank my daughter, she is now 5, and I never have. I've been successful with other ways of disipline. For me, why do something that hurts them vs. learning what they did wrong, and also hurts me , my feelings, guilt, when I spanked my son. I think it should be up to the parent to an extent, but some believe in paddle, belt, etc.. or really hitting hard with hand, so it makes it touchy. and in my view abusive. i don't like spanking!!!!! The only time I didn't feel bad about it, is when my son ran in the street, I spanked him right there in the middle of the street. Better to have a red butt, then a flat kid. So I think there is a fine line and it is a touchy subject.

Answer 10

Spanking has long been the hot topic. I was spanked as a child, and it didn't scar me. I spanked my children as well, probably not as much as I was, but I did spank. They aren't scared either. It is my right as a parent to discipline my child as I see fit. I don't believe in beating a child, but a quick tap on the bum never hurt my kids. I used spanking as a last resort, just as my parents had. I sat my kids in the naughty corner long before it was the in thing to do. They would have to say their ABC;s, 123's and when they got old enough, the Lords prayer. I tell my children now both in their teens, I punished them as I saw fit. They agree. The don't remember the spankings they actually remember the corner more than anything. If we as parents allow the lawmakers the ability to take away our rights as parents, where will it stop........