what happens in heaven to the 72 virgins after they're not virgins anymore?

Question

funny answers appreciated although a serious one will get best answer

Answer 1

what do you mean they are not virgins any more? there is NO sex in heaven, Riegan

I think whoever gets 72 virgins in heaven plays chess with them for eternity

Answer 2

Answer #1: I think all the males that believe in this care about is that they are the only man the woman has ever had. [Though it seems like 72 harolts would be better because they know what they're doing and it's not like you can get an STD in paradise, right?]

Answer #2: I think most religious people believe that God can and does restore virginity. I am a Christian now but back in my Evangelical Christian days I have seen many a rape victim or girl who had sex and repented and committed to chastity be told that if she lets God heal her spirit he will restore her virginity in a real sense. I can only assume that logic exists somwhere in Islam as well.

Answer 3

Well now that is a very interesting question, and one the most people will shy away from. You see when these young men go to heaven and meet their reward of 72 virgins it sets in motion all kinds of happenings. First off they get their reward and go to a private room where one by one each one of these ladies is deflowered. It is unclear how long this takes, but it probably depends on the man, I would guess 90 to 120 days on average. Then comes the very difficult part as the door to the room is opened all in heaven immediately begin to curse, humiliate, and stone these women for engaging in sexual relations before marriage. This is perhaps the worst thing they could have possibly done. Just about the time these women are about to die from the stoning the all merciful forgiving god comes along and with great anger orders everyone to stop the stoning at once. He then turns his attention to these former virgins, spits fire out of his mouth, roars with great anger, telling the frightened girls they have brought disgrace on his paradise and immediately sends them to hell where they will be punished for the rest of time for bringing shame to heaven. He then turns to the male and welcomes him to heaven and praises him for the good deeds he accomplished on earth.

Answer 4

I assume you are talking about the Virgins that the Martyrs receive when they get into Paradise in Islam. What always perplexed me is the overall Vagueness of the Qu'ran regarding these Virgins, as Women do not go to Paradise. So who exactly are these virgins?! And why are people literally blowing themselves up to get these virgins?! The only way for a woman to enter into Paradise is through Martyrdom...which is actually the only way ANYONE can guarantee their spot...but men and women don't share Paradise, so I don't know what kind of Virgins these guys are gunning for, but I think many will be in for quite the surprise when they get there.

Answer 5

When we get to heaven, our bodies are to be made perfect, so wouldn't that make us all virgins? Wait, does that mean only 72 of us will get to heaven??? Just kidding, but I figured I'd add a couple more stupid questions to the mix. lol

Answer 6

In Islamic teaching, the concept of the 72 Virgins comes neither from al-Qu'ran nor from the Hadith. As such, it is not properly a part of Islamic teaching.

However, for those who do hold to this teaching, 'virgin' is not quite the appropriate translation. Like so much else, in translation, much is lost. These are not other people's spirits, they are spirtual beings of pleasure, who cannot lose their status as such just by the act of sex. In essence, they are perpetually virgin even though they may participate in the sexual act.

Answer 7

I am not in it for the points...

There are no virgins there! Glorified bodies in heaven are beyond physical, sexual and/or reproductive action and sensation. Heavenly bodies live only to worship and glorify the Lord.

You cannot put earthly, human limits and qualities on beings that are pure spirit and heavenly. Earthly definitions and desciptions do not apply in heaven. It's kind of like asking what brand of soft drink Jesus Christ drinks. The two are mutually exclusive of each other.

Answer 8

What's the matter, haven't you ever heard of the moonlight bunny ranch?

Honestly, I'm not sure it's ever disscussed. That's a heck of a question, my guess is the guy is stuck with 72 women he has to teach how to have sex. After learning 72 women what to do in bed I'm guessing the guy's too worn out and spends the rest of his eternity by himself staring out the window while the women fight over who gets to watch the game on TV.

Answer 9

I saw on G4 tv the other night that the 72 Virgins were actually really, really nerdy GUYS and when the muslim got to heaven they asked him to play chess. He replied with:

"Damn you Osama!"

It made me laugh, but still I think it was a low blow towards Islam. I don't endorse it, but it made me laugh.

^.^

Answer 10

The become born-again virgins. Heaven is into recycling.

Answer 11

as soon as they become selected and then 'used merchandise' they wink out of existence and are replaced with another genuine virgin

For the rule after all requires virgin

which proves beyond a doubt that the God that set that up is just as dysfunctional as the Christian one

Because the poor guy can talk and flirt forever with enticing candidates but let him be drawn into an actual relationship and consummate the sharing of himself with her to be in a deeper relationship = it instantly disappears

Thus keepers cant be used
and used cant be keepers

sounds like just another hell to me

actually I always wondered if he was supposed to deflower each every day so that they can be recycled

rules rules rules everywhere you go rules rules and more rules eh?