I Need Help Please ASAP!?!?!?

Question

Ok so my son is 4yrs old and he has ummmm a thing for our toilet. Every chance he gets he flushing something down it. We have tried numerous different toilet lid locks and each with the same result, he can figure them out within minutes of us putting them on.
He has flushed, jumbo legs blocks, a candy bubble gum dispenser, travel deodorant,400 q-tips,a ball, one of his Thomas toys, his Thomas wooden whistle and the list goes on and on.
Its not from lack of supervision, he'll be going pee or poo and then he sneaks a toy into the toilet and flushes it and then tells us about it.We watch him very intently when in the bathroom but we don't go in because we have always taught himt hat the bathroom is private. Should we start going in now? We have to take our toilet off to get whatever he flushes down about twice a month. We have tried everything as a means of punishment but nothing works and we won't spank what should we do now? I'm at a loss......

we have even explained that the only things that go in the toilet are pee,poo and toilet paper and sometimes if you have to throw up but he still doesn't get it and when you try to punish him he has this big victory smile on his face like he did some great thing, uuugggghhhh

we have taken his most prized toys away from him, we have used time outs, made him stand at the bad boy door(which he hates) and none of these have worked effectively, he just takes his anger out on his bigger brother. when we went thru this before we supervised him everyday all day for 3 weeks with not a single toy flushed until now, i won't spank because its a form of violence.

Answer 1

If you've taught him that the bathroom is private, I wouldn't start going in with him now because it might confuse him, but I would check him before he goes in there, make sure he doesn't have anything that can be flushed down... if he continues to find ways to sneak toys in, like some of the others have said, take his toys from him and don't give them back until he's learned its not okay to flush them down there... You could also try a little bit of reverse physcology (don't know if thats spelled right or not, or if thats what it's even considered...) but tell him that only babies flush things down the potty and if he wants to act like a baby you can go out and buy him a pack of diapers and he can wear them again, or threaten to put him back on the training potty just like babies go on... At four, he probably doesn't think of himself as a baby and doesn't want other people to either... make a big deal about how only big boys who act like big boys and don't flush toys down the potty can use the big potty... It works great on a lot of kids his age because like I said he doesn't think of himself as a baby and doesn't want others to think of him like one either. it could help solve your problem and theres no spanking involved! =] hope that helps a little

Answer 2

I would begin by supervising him every time he goes to the bathroom. Tell him he cannot go to the bathroom by himself until he can be a big boy and not flush non-potty items down the toilet. When he can be a big boy, then he can go alone again. Your child has found something that he feels that you cannot control. And so far, you have not found a way to control it. Pat your child down each time, check his hands and pockets. He has got the control, you have to get it back.

With most control issues, you simply must be VERY calm, take control... do not allow toys into the bathroom. You supervise, and DISCIPLINE him for all unwanted behavior. Be VERY CONSISTENT, and don't show any emotions such as irritation, anxiety or unhappiness during these bathroom sessions. Be an emotional robot, and show him that he doesn't have the control over you.

If your child is literally smiling and laughing when you are disciplining him, you are not disciplining him effectively. You have to find some method that gets his attention PRONTO. Most people get their bluff in by spanking occasionally. If you choose not to spank, you had better find something that works fast. Your child is obviously smart enough... he doesn't need to LEARN not to flush things, he already knows. He needs to be effectively DISCIPLINED for doing it. Find the effective discipline, and you'll have no more problems. I wish you the very best!

Answer 3

I admire your conviction about spanking. I don't share the same belief, but I admire it anyway, lol. The next time the toilet needs to be removed, make sure he is close enough to hear the very loud (and deliberate) complaining and alternatives...for example (best I could come up with in lieu of swatting his hands) "WHY DOES HE ALWAYS DO THIS? MAYBE WE SHOULD MAKE HIM DO HIS BUSINESS OUTSIDE. OR, BETTER YET, MAYBE THE DOCTOR COULD GIVE HIM A SHOT OR SOMETHING TO MAKE HIM STOP PUTTING THINGS IN THE TOILET!"

If he hears that, he might not buy the idle threats, lol, but, you never know. Expressing extreme displeasure and forming it into anger doesn't mean that violence must occur, but it sure makes a convincing sight if you can pull it off.
Good luck.
And, I'm doing ok, lol...thanks for asking.

Answer 4

Take all his toys away and tell him, since he just wants to flush them away, you'll give them to other little kids who will want to play wiht them. Sounds harsh, yes, but he's obviously not taking anything else you do or say seriously. Also, you might want to consider getting a door lock, with a key that only you have. Make him ask permission before using the potty then, unlock the door for him and stand in there with him until he's done. He'll get tired of this really quick and, hopefully, he'll get the hint. Good luck!!

Answer 5

hiya, i had a similar problem as yours not as bad though tg, so what i done was after trying ever thing from the bold step to me taking away toys etc, i Told him that i was going to buy a potty and he only laughed caus he didn't think i would, so off i went got the potty. He said he needed to go so out with the potty i came. he used it, and i said what would your little friends say if they saw you there on the potty, his reply was they would call me a baby Mommy, now this hurt both of us, so i gave him another chancel but told him if he ever put anything down the toilet again that he was going to have to use the potty for longer next time. He never done it again. The best of luck i know its not easy lol x

Answer 6

Oh, wow. He probably finds the swirling facinating, or did at one point and now it is a compulsion for him. I do not envy you. The best I would say is that you are going to have to start supervising him. Or perhaps detach the chain for the flapper so he CAN'T flush, and you go in after him? One or the other, because it sounds as if this is getting tedious and could get quite expensive if you don't stop it.

At four, I'd spank, but that is my personal belief, and I know a lot of people don't belief in spankings, so ...

Good luck to you.

Answer 7

One things for sure, If your discipline is not working then something more ratical is going to have to happen. You don't believe in spanking but will take a toilet off at least twice a month. MMMM. I'm not saying you should spank but if he knows he can get away with this Just think about what he will be doing at 10 then 18. Sometimes you spank out of love. You don't enjoy doing it but sometimes it is to teach a lesson. You have to be scared of consequences. If you are not scared of the consequences what is to stop you. Nothing. My daddy use to always tell me when he spanked me this hurts me more than you. I never imagined that what he was saying was true till I had to spank my little one. It is heart wrenching but My son will be better off b/c of it.

Answer 8

You may have to end up watching him when he goes into the bathroom. I know it's something you don't want to do but that may be your only option. Maybe once you start doing it he won't like it and quit is flushing frenzy. He's old enough to know better. Try taking away some of his toys in his room, or other privileges. And of course, be consistent with him.

Answer 9

how about one of those child proof locks for the door knob. its a big round while thing that slides over the door knob and you have to put pressure on both sides in order for the door to be able to open, easy for adults, impossible for kids. then keep the door shut.
if not, he will keep in up as long as you let him, why not a spank on the bum, and tell him no, or time out if you dont spank. he is 4, and should very well no better by now, its up to you to diciplin

Answer 10

Put a latch high on the bathroom door so he can not get on on his own and if he has to go watch him. Also take away his toys if he does it again. Good luck