I am 19 years old with a 16 month old son and im almost 4 months pregnant again and i am thinking about adoption because im not ready for a secon child at the moment? should adoption be an option for me?
2007-11-29 05:00:17 · 27 answers · asked by Tiffany J 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adoption
No.
You are obviously capable of parenting and think of the effects on your son and your baby to lose their sibling. Adoption should be a very last resort, not an 'option'
You can do this (you've done it already!)
2007-11-29 05:08:44 · answer #1 · answered by H****** 7 · 6⤊ 3⤋
Like you I am also 19 with a 10 month old son & just found out Im pregnant again (8 weeks) I am most probably going to continue with the pregnancy after my medical assesment ( have had bleeding & pain) I think Adoption should definately be an option for you if thats how you feel but remember all the things that go with it, I mean could you really give up your baby after giving birth to it? Constantly wondering if that baby was with a loving family or not? And the child will most probably want to get to know you when its older, and then there will be the questions like why did you give me up etc?
I personally couldnt do it, but obv abortion is not an option now youre 4 months.
I wish you good luck with whatever you decide, just make sure you make the right choice & do your research!
2007-11-29 13:10:47 · answer #2 · answered by Proud Mumma Lola 2 · 4⤊ 2⤋
Please talk to lots of professionals about this and do follow your gut. I placed my twins for adoption when my first child was 22 months old. The best decision I have ever made. I chose open adoption and have a wonderful relationship with my birth children. I was able to finish college and I was able to give my son everything that he needed. Having a child is a lot of responsibility on YOU, no one else. You may have people telling you that they will help you with the baby, they can't be there 24hrs a day with you. Even if you get the father involved, you may have to fight for child support. What I did was think about my future and that of the children I would bring into the world. What can I offer besides LOVE???
To all of the people with the birth control comments, like all of us don't make mistakes. I continue to work in this field and find many girls who keep their babies are under so much stress. Financially, physically, emotionally! Many of the mothers I see are unable to parent properly. Lots of yelling and spanking. All I think you need to do is think of your life and what you want to accomplish in the future. I am happy, educated and married with two children. Everything is open and ALL of my kids see eachother and talk all of the time. It worked for me. So follow your head, not your heart, if we all followed our hearts all of the time, no one would have been blessed with an adopted child. I feel your pain and best of luck!! :)
P.S. Being a mom is so much better when you are ready for it!!!
2007-12-01 22:41:40 · answer #3 · answered by earthmomma22 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I had my daughter at 19 yrs old. I got pregnant again at 23 and couldn't continue to live my life as I was struggling. For the best interest of my son, that is what I chose. He is now 4 yrs old and doing great! I released him to my best friend's mom and stepdad. Ultimately, it is up to you, but it is a great thing to do. I would contact an agency and just talk to them. You are under NO obligation - just talk to them. Feel free to email me if you want.
Take Care!
2007-12-03 11:43:32 · answer #4 · answered by Sarah C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only you can answer that question.
Please realize that it won't be an easy answer, placing your child for adoption. Yes there are people who want babies, but there are babies (and children) all over the world who want/need families, and you are under no obligation to place your child with another family. Don't let anyone guilt you into placing it.
I am a potential adoptive parent, and I know that the most important thing for any child is to be with their biological mother, sometimes that is just not possible, but...it may be hard to parent two children right now, but it may be in your best interest, and in the best interest of the child you are carrying to stay with you and his/her brother.
Good luck on whatever you decide. please don't let anyone guilt you, make you feel like you are not worthy to raise your own child. You are all ready a parent, so you know what you can and cannot handle.
*hugs*
2007-11-29 13:52:01 · answer #5 · answered by Morgaine 4 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Well that is up to you but how can you keep the first child and not the second-to-be?
If i was going to adopt out the one i was pregnant with i believe i would adopt the other one out too cause i would not be able to live with myself for doing that.
2007-11-30 03:23:42 · answer #6 · answered by ஐ♥Julian'sMommy♥ஐ 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should also talk to your parents and grandparents. If you want to keep your child, but feel overwhelmed and want help, family may be able to pick up some of the slack.
Raising two kids is a challenge, and sometimes something so simple as having someone come over for 20 minutes so you can get a shower can be a godsend.
If a few people can do a little bit to help, it keeps one person from having to do EVERYTHING.
2007-11-29 13:21:30 · answer #7 · answered by Darklighter 4 · 4⤊ 1⤋
I think adoption is a wonderful option for indivuduals that feel as though they cannot emotionally, financially, physically be able to properly care for a child. You are young and you already have one. If you feel as though a second would be completely overwhelming then it might be an option for you.
Bear in mind that giving up a child is very difficult, and you have to be 100% sure it is what you want to do. Give it lots of thought, talk to someone that you trust about it and whatever you decide be sure you know in your heart it was the right thing to do.
2007-11-29 13:04:34 · answer #8 · answered by jenny04105 3 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Adoption is always an answer...I am an Adoptee and my parents are wonderful.
The problem here is not the question of to adopt or not...but, to get at the root of why you keep ending up pregnant. No birth control method is 100% so, if you are having sex...then you are running the risk of more children. Have some restraint and stop having sex until you are ready to be responsible for more children.
2007-11-29 13:06:47 · answer #9 · answered by Jen M 6 · 3⤊ 3⤋
It is a tough descision to make - one that strangers on the internet cannot make for you. If you feel like you can't provide a suitable life for your child on the way, then there is nothing wrong with inquiring into adoption agencies. But do some soul searching before you finalize your descision. You don't want to make a descision you'll later regret.
2007-11-29 13:04:45 · answer #10 · answered by Liberty Belle 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
First of all you need to sit down and talk to the dad of this child and see what he thinks. If for someone reason you know you cant take care of this child then allow someone to adopt him or her. We adopted our daughter and are ever so tankful to the birth mom. She made the choice that she thought was right for her baby. Some may say keep it and some say allow a family to adopt but the choice is yours. IF you feel this is right for you then find a family that is what you want for your child.
2007-11-29 16:12:51 · answer #11 · answered by Amie M 3 · 2⤊ 3⤋