I just broke up with my bf of many years. I felt like we were together 'just because'... but now that it's over i keep going over and over the details. He had told me if it was up to him we could continue as we were. But he had admitted he wasn't in love with me, he did say he cared about me though. Compared it to how he cares for his dog, which is a lot, and frankly, sometimes it felt he cared more for his dog than for me. He was constantly depressed because he said there was nothing in this life that made him happy. He wouldn't compromise on anything that's important to me, he would tell me i should just let him be, not try to make him into me. But i just wanted to share a little more of my life with him...
He had told me he didn't like how i am, but that any other girl would be just as bad or even worse, so, what the hell.
He wasn't sweet anymore, he just made physical contact when he wanted sex. I complained about this, and he tried to be sweet a little... but it felt fake.
2007-11-29 04:26:33 · 10 answers · asked by jade 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yeah, he was very honest. I really like that about him, but it always made me sad that him being honest always meant knowing he didn't love me.
2007-11-29 04:39:21 · update #1
I'm so sorry to hear about your breakup, but I feel you are better off without him. I don't think comfort had anything to do with it. I think it was convenience. He had someone there that did things for him that he needed or wanted done. He loves his dog, but you've been with him for many years and all he can muster is that he "cares for you"! That's BULL!!! He doesn't like how you are? Why the hell was he with you?!!! The sex? He could get that on the street!! You are better off without that idiot!! I figure he loves his dog because a dog's love is unconditional. They love whoever feeds and walks them. You don't have to talk to them about your feelings and if the only time you spend with them is 20 minutes a week playing tug of war they're happy. Go on with your life forget about that jackass and find someone that you can talk to and who will love you for you.
2007-11-29 05:03:14 · answer #1 · answered by lionheart482001 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think everyone hits a point in their relationship where the passion kinds of dies off a bit.
You do end up being 'comfortable' with each other rather than absolutely dying to get it on together. This is part of the maturing of a relationship.
I understand what the guy meant when he said you were as good or worse than another girl, but I agree with you that you shouldn't have to accept this.
Move on, find a guy who has a bit of passion for you and try and leave this last relationship in the past.
These things generally happen for the best - go find someone better.
2007-11-29 04:38:45 · answer #2 · answered by tayhay 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who knows...it could be he is just depressed in general and is just comfortable with being in that state and is afraid to be happy as he never has been and it would make him have to grow as a person.
Instead of over-analyzing the why, let it go and move on and be happy with your life.
Realize you can't change another person or make them happy...it is their choice. Also realize just because he didn't have passion for you doesn't mean there isn't a guy out there that might, and by closing the door your with this guy, you are opening up a world of possbilities that you otherwise might have missed staying with someone that just liked you but didn't really love you.
2007-11-29 04:35:44 · answer #3 · answered by bottleblondemama 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
"He had told me he didn't like how i am, but that any other girl would be just as bad or even worse, so, what the hell."
Ugh. I hope that was just before you decided to break up with him, or I'm not sure how you lasted as long as you did. Maybe the depression prevented him from expressing his true feelings, or maybe he was just a jerk, but it doesn't really matter: you were understandably unhappy with continuing things as they were, so you did what you had to do for you. Try to put the past in the past and keep moving forward.
2007-11-29 04:31:33 · answer #4 · answered by MM 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Damn, that sucks. My bf broke up with me about a month ago and it has been really hard. Your bf sounds like he might be depressed or have other mental issues going on if "nathing makes him happy" as you said. I know this sucks to hear, but...if he really loved you and it was meant to be, it wouldn't be so hard, and it would feel right. My bf and I have been spending time together again recently, and I want so badly for things to work out, but I don't feel his heart is in it and it makes it so hard. Why be with with someone if they don't want to be with you?
We deserve better. Good luck :)
2007-11-29 04:31:32 · answer #5 · answered by The D 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Good for you for breaking up with him! I think most bad relationships last because of comfort. Just be happy you were smart enough to know what you deserve and now you can find what feels right.
2007-11-29 05:21:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He has probably had these feelings for a while and just didn't know how to break it to you. The "New Car Smell" of a relationship goes away pretty fast and then you are left with reality. He told you how he was feeling. If anything he was honest.
2007-11-29 04:33:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think he was with you for comfort and not saying you were easy but he had access to sex when he wanted it. It was sort of how marriage can sometimes get if you get too comfortable. I say let him go.
2007-11-29 04:40:18 · answer #8 · answered by tc22 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
mayybe u were the one not confortable
2007-11-29 04:29:18 · answer #9 · answered by Kimi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow this guy is an asshole. forget him boo!
2007-11-29 04:44:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋