I am 26 am not in love or maried , hell i have never had sex? and i don't wanna. i love kissing though.?

Question

am egyptian and am a muslim...we have alot of rules concerning the relation among girls and guys....

I don't know what to think about this issue? should i get married? arranged marriage? or just grow old alone?

Answer 1

There are good arguments for taking any course, Lola, although the choice of remaining alone is the most extreme. If you feel the calling to dedicate your life to Allah or to the care of others, then not having a mate can be admirable. But if it's only because you're not sure, or haven't had the chance to fall in love, then it's probably not the best decision you can make.

I'm not Muslim, nor do I know enough about the ways of the the religion to help you work this out through the teachings of the faith, but I do know a little bit about love and having a partner to share life with.

It is a wonderful, comforting and exciting feeling to have someone you can hold in your arms, depend upon, share passions with, stand along side through the joys and sorrows of life, and work with, as a committed team, to plan, strive for and reach your combined goals. It can also be heartbreaking, frustrating, tense and confusing at times, but generally the good far outweighs the bad. And if you wonder why the world is so obsessed with sex, you'll find out why once you try it. So I am encouraging you to try falling in love and see if you agree.

There are different ways to fall in love though. I have always done it the traditional western way: meet someone I fancy, get to know them, date, then get closer over time until the love envelops us.

But I have heard that arranged marriages can be just as blissful a process. Where the west has fully embraced the idea that love can fade, arranged relationships give the couple time to stretch out the courtship - what many of we romantics think of as the best part of being in love. The partners are encouraged to find things they can share for the rest of their lives, discover as many aspects as they can to love about each other, seek the most satisfying sexual experiences that will work over the long haul, and learn to change together instead of apart, as many of us others do. It's like a blind date in the west, except that it will be a lifelong adventure.

Love works in all religions, all cultures, all over the world, so following your family's traditions - or not - won't bar you from happiness. I think the fact that you are asking this question indicates that you want to find out what being in love is all about. Why not talk to a trusted elder who is wise about life where you are and see what they have to say? Choose someone you think will understand your situation and listen, not just tell you what you should do. I'm sure there's valuable advice all around you, but like love, you sometimes have to take chances to find it.

Good luck!

Answer 2

I think it's important to decide what you feel. You will know what feels right and wrong. Unfortunately people don't always listen to themselves and they do something to fit in or because they feel they'd look strange and not fit in otherwise. So stick to your guns, and if you don't feel in love, don't feel like getting married, don't feel like having sex, then don't feel you have to.

You won't grow old alone, even if you never have a proper relationship/marriage. You'll have family such as siblings, nieces, nephews, cousins etc. and you'll have good friends as well. So keep up with them, be good friends with them and treasure them. And those people are much better to grow old around than some crotchety old husband you have no real feelings for and only married because you didn't want to be alone. You never know though, someone might fall in love with YOU, and then you'll have to decide what you want to do.

You say you love kissing - but you're not in love or anything? You haven't led people along have you? I would say that is a mistake and inconsiderate, since it builds up hopes and then breaks hearts. If you've had previous relationships, you'll probably have others in the future as well, and then you might in the end find someone you feel you have a special enough relationship with to consider marriage and sex.

I know this whole answer may sound like a teenage magazine, but that's just stereotype. There's no reason you should have done x y z before you feel like it, or if you don't feel like it full stop. Keep peace with your own conscience and morals, and don't feel self conscious about anything you have or haven't done, that you felt was the right decision.

Answer 3

You should get married have sex have kids but preferably not arranged marriage and not to grow old alone. You might want to explore the other side of life, make a definition on a fun life a happy life. You could still be God-fearing even if you enjoy life. I think thats the way it should be. Good luck!

Answer 4

Sweety, that is such a broad subject to go over on here! It really comes down to what you want in the long run. Can you learn to love & be comfortable with someone arranged to marry you? If so, go for it! If someone comes along & sweeps you off your feet you may regret having been arranged. But you will still reap the rewards of family life. & as far as growing old "alone" LOL!! None of us are truly alone...you have friends &/or your family right!!!!! Just follow your heart..that's the best advice I can give you right now :)

Answer 5

this is why i hate rules of religion. we no longer live in the dark ages. just like the myth that "jews cannot have tattoos or else they cannot be buried in jewish cemetaries"

btw this is not true, people are growing out of the outdated "rules" of religions.

Do what you think is right, no one can answer for you if you should get married, stay single, or just stay alone.

Arranged marriages are stupid because who knows better than you who you'd be compatible with?

If you don't want to have a bf, then don't.

But it sounds like you want to find someone to love and get married to.

Sex is part of everyday life now and it may be difficult finding someone who will be with you for the rest of you're life without having sex. Unless they don't like sex either. Those types of relationships do exist, where they are not physically intimate.

Answer 6

You need to put yourself out there. Remember this is a newer generation, maybe you should be the first one to change some of the customs. I am from India, and I made some huge waves with my family, with the customs and all. I am married with a guy of my choice, who is not my nationality, we have a gorgeous little girl and if I had to do it all over again I would do it again. You have to take the leap, in order to make a difference in your life--if you are not happy in your present situation. Good Luck.

Answer 7

If you are invested and committed to your rules religious and otherwise, then certainly follow those. Sounds like maybe you are questioning whether those rules should continue given your age. You may be lonely? Meet some like-minded people, develop friendships and put yourself out there as a possible mate for some lucky guy. Let him find you. Be the be you that you can be, get it?

Answer 8

Hey...it's okay to not be in love at this age and not have sex for a muslim girl of your age...you should be proud...just open your heart to people who may find you worthy and then it just flows.. it's very very natural to feel all these emotions if you love someone....wish i had seen this question earlier..what is the status now am eager to know :)

Answer 9

I think you need to stop following so many rules and start following your heart. Religion can be a great part of life, but it shouldn't determine whether you're unhappy for the rest of your life. Start living for yourself and you might just happen upon someone to love. I'm sure the right guy is out there somewhere for you. Expand your horizon and let love in!

Answer 10

If you think the married life is for you, you should get married. If you think you'll be happier being single, you should stay single, but what ever you do - don't have sex before marriage. Anyone women who doesn't have sex before marriage and is a virgin, deserves respect from her husband/boyfriend, and would make a loving, loyal wife.