Learning to let go of my 3 year old?

Question

My son is actually 3-1/2 and I think it is a good age to start school (daycare/preschool). Would you agree?

In addition, I work from home so running around after a 3 year old is distracting to say the least. :)

BUT...I fear for my son's safety. How many sad and tragic cases have we seen on the news where a child was abused or neglected by his/her caregiver? What about all of those sick pedophiles out there?! I just feel more comfortable if I were close to my son where I can keep an eye on him.

What can I do to ease my fears?!

Answer 1

your not ready. i had those fears a year ago when my son was that age. he is almost 5 now. and in school and i had no fears at all other than a school bus but he is fine and thriving. when the time is right for him to go you wont be scared

Answer 2

There's nothing you can do to ease your fears. You're a mother of a child in this sick and twisted world. EVERY mother is scared of those kinds of things.

Your son will be starting preschool in August. I'd just wait it out until then. You've hung in there this long, what's a few more months? Be sure that you meet the teacher prior to his first day of school. Voice your concerns (s/he'll understand) and make sure that s/he knows to contact you at ANYTIME if there is a problem. Your son will be fine and so will you.

Answer 3

Question for you:
Why do you think you need to 'learn to let go' of a three year old? You are the mommy! You are SUPPOSED to let him capture your heart and your mind! You are supposed to be his primary protector and his first teacher!
Now, no. When he is twenty, I don't want to hear that you are still dictating who he can date. But he is three. He still needs a mommy. Don't let the world tell you he needs to be 'socialized' (the same word we use for training puppies). God gave each child a family to experience their first society in.
I have had three children. With the first two, I was actually terrified to mother them. I didn't think I knew how. To compensate for this, I put them in daycare and worked full time outside our home. When I had the third, I quit my job (couldn't afford daycare anyway), and accepted full responsibility for my children. It wasn't long before I realized that putting them in daycare was one of the worst mistakes I have ever made.
I currently work from a home office, and part of my job is to visit daycares. Yes, they are clean, they teach the children, most do their best to offer loving care. But they can not replace a mother. In the infant room, the adult to infant ratio is 1:6. How can one person really care for SIX infants? Every time I go there, everyone is crying (well, not the adults, although if it was me, I would be). With the toddlers, the adults just aren't as close as a mother or father would be. That is the socialization they need at that age - someone who knows and helps shape their character.
You hear tragic cases all the time not only about daycares. I am not saying the care is neglectful. I am saying it just doesn't measure up to the care a parent can provide. The feeling I get when I go to most daycares is that the children are warehoused. They have toys, and food and get exercise. But they do not have depth of relationship. Is it any wonder that kids today don't know how to have relationships?

You don't need to ease your fears. You need to listen to your instincts. You only get ONE shot at raising this little guy. You can never go back and get those moments you'd miss. And nobody can love him like you can.

Answer 4

Ok well one good thing is that ur son is old enough to tell u if something happens to him. My daughter is almost 4 she has been in daycare since she was 2 b/c i was the same way. but remember u can always go pick him up early just to see what goes on every once in a blue moon.. It does help to ease ur mind..

Answer 5

My daughter is 3 and a half too...and I am starting her in Nursery school in JAn. I think thats the UK version of pre school...I also am very nervous about it...but I decided that the best way to cope was to shop around for the best Private nursery in the area...I have to pay a lot but it's worth it...I know that it is extremely safe, not overcrowded and with children from good homes...there are too many rubbish places where kids from backrounds which are dodgy go...I dont blame the kids of course...but the local free school has kids that I hear swearing...even at the age of 4!

Just find the nicest place you can and he'll be fine.

Answer 6

Avoid daycares. Now is a great time to get your child into a licensed and accredited academic Preschool. Send him to the best one you can afford. How can you tell which is best? They have a waiting list (for Sept 2008) and typically high tuition rates.

This way, you'll maximize your child's safety and minimize your fears. You'll get what you pay for.

Answer 7

When my daughter first started preschool (at age 2.5, 2 hours a day, 2 days a week), I went to preschool with her. It allowed her to transition to a group environment more easily, and it allowed me to really see how the class was run, how the teachers interacted with the children, how they handled discipline issues, etc. After a few weeks, I was comfortable enough with the teachers and the environment to leave my child there, and she was comfortable enough to be there by herself.

Answer 8

I would keep him home since you have concerns...there is no hurry, they grow up fast enough anyway. When you feel like the time is right, make sure you are in close contact with his care providers, talk to them all the time, make sure you know what is going on there. My two oldest went to preschool part time and loved it, but of course that meant I had less time with them before that started kindergarten. I think I am going to keep my youngest home longer. There are lots of good providers out there, but you have to find them and definitley learn alot about someone before you trust them with your child.

Answer 9

Well the first thing you can do is contact several daycares and interview them. See if you can get some of the mothers phone numbers and call them to see how they like it and if they ever have had any problems. Good Luck to you. My daughter is in a daycare and she is learning so much.

Answer 10

I was a complete basket case when thinking about putting my sons into daycare. I was/am a stay-at-home mom, but could sense that my older son seemed to be wanting more and I just didn't have the energy or time to devote to him ALL day long, in addition to trying to do housework and errands. I opted to put them in daycare part time (just twice a week) because I felt that the teachers (who SHOULD have some kind of education in child care -- make sure they do!) could provide my sons with additional activities that they were trained for. Ideally, these teachers are in this field because they have a love for children and love being with them. Don't get me wrong -- I absolutely love my boys! But at some point, they DO need to learn SOCIALIZATION with peers of their own age. It will make the adjustment to kindergarten MUCH easier and they will learn basic concepts of interacting, sharing, etc., that will benefit them greatly when they do start necessary schooling. Don't deprive them or hold back from starting them based on YOUR feelings of sadness, apprehension, etc. It's a fact your kids are going to grow up at some point and they can't be with you forever. Even at this young age, they will really have fun at a licensed, reputable facility with kids their own age. My older boy especially can't stop talking about "school" (daycare). He comes home singing new songs, telling me about how much fun he had on the playground, telling me his new friends' names, and telling me all the activities they did. (He is 3, by the way, and I first started him in daycare at 2.5 years old.) Putting your kids in daycare will be MUCH harder on you than the children! But once you see how much they are learning and how much fun they have, you will be glad. At first, they may cry when you leave and that just TEARS YOU APART! But you have to leave immediately after hugging/kissing them. Once you come back to pick them up, the teacher will tell you they stopped crying shortly after you left! I promise! That first step is the hardest though, but soon you will come to love at least some free time to yourself. I think the first time I dropped my kids at daycare, I cleaned the whole house from top to bottom with all my nervous energy I had worrying about them! It was a slow day! But now, I think, "It's time to pick them up ALREADY???" ha ha Good luck.