Why is being happily married?

Question

for 31 years a bad thing. Whenever I come on here, and people ask what age to get married, I always say I married the week after I turned 19. My marriage has lasted, and overall has been pretty terrific. Almost everytime I get thumbs down on my answer.
I always thought being married this long (and happily) was a good thing
Am I missing something here?

Thanks for the replies everyone. I agree 19 is young. But saying ALL young marriages end in divorce is not true.
BTW the baby of our family is getting married in 4 wks. (She's 26) has been with her boyfriend for 8-9 yrs. I keep asking her if she's sure. lol I guess it's just a mom thing

Answer 1

I think people are just thumbs down happy in here. I noticed the other day an honest and innocent question about "how you and your husband" met, and every single person had a thumbs down, how can you give a thumbs down for that? I dont think people realize the thumbs down feature is for "bad advice" like saying that having a port-o-potty at the end of the aisle for the ease of your guests is a good idea or for people who just go off and really unwarrantedly kind of b'itch at an asker or for trolls.

Don't worry, 31 years is an awesome achievment that so many people can only aspire to meet.

PS Watch, I'll get a thumbs down for this!

Answer 2

Marriage is like a hard job that pays well. If you put a lot into it, it goes well and it is fun. If you goof off, people get angry with you - and you risk getting fired. You are RIGHT about the sex part being hard. However after 20 years I like sex with my wife as much as ever. We just do it a little less often than in the beginning. The first ten years we average maybe 5 times a week. Now 2 times a week. But each time is good to great. I think for her also - I sure try to make it that way. Never cheated. Hopefully :) :) never will. 1. Marry someone you are attracted to or sex will be something you avoid and you will both be miserable. 2. Stay in shape/stay in shape/etc. Or find a guy who doesn't mind overweight women. And there are many guys like that. However - sorry for this but it is true - most better educated/higher income guys do not like heavy women. Don't know why that is just the way it is. 3. Marry someone who is adventurous and fun and ideally funny. Lets face it those factors are part of the bedroom experience. 4. Marry someone who makes an effort to bring you to cl***x every time. Some people end up in sexless marriages - if that happened to me I would either have open affairs - I would not hide affairs if my wife would not sleep with me - or get divorce. How some men live without sex is a mystery to me.

Answer 3

It's NOT the length of the marriage. What it is is that you are telling people 19 is a good age to get married in 2007.

Times have changed... A LOT.

Getting married after high school in the 70's was common. Many women, at least from what my mom told me, didn't even consider college as an option.

So much has changed... and it's not just about "women's lib". It's the economy and the options that are out there now.

So while 19 was a great age to get married in 1976... that is not usually the case in 2007.

The funny thing is that when I was 19, I was dating the man that I am now married to.... but we broke up and went our separate ways.

We got back together when I was 31.

WOW! We both changed in so many ways over the years. Thinking back, if we had gotten married back then and I never had the experiences that I did as a single woman, I would be a different person... and not the kind I would want to be. There was so much I didn't understand at 19. I would not have learned how and why I should respect this man that I married.

We grew up as single adults in a way that we would not have been able to together.

So there is really no reason to rush things... we ended up together anyways. LOL

Answer 4

People are jealous Barb! 31 years happy! Unheard of these days! I have been married 19 years and wouldnt trade anything about it, except maybe his snoring! I was married young at 20 years old. Now my daughter is getting married at 18 and people are always commenting on her age. My own parents are going on 55 Years, my husbands 45 years and my daughters fiances parents are on 37 years! I'd say my daughter and her fiance have a good chance! Some people do not think of marraige as a lifetime commintment anymore but those that have seen good marriages and see that it CAN work understand what love is all about (the good and the bad!) keep typing away and ignore those that give you a thumbs down! Many out there want your advice! I know I do!

Answer 5

I also married at age 19 but my husband left me when I was 22 for a younger woman. I guess it just all depends on how mature you are, you were obviously more ready for marriage at that age than some people are at that age, and times have changed where people now seem to stay at school longer and go on to further education so it can still seem like a very young age. I applaud you and congratulate you for the length of your marriage and the fact that you are happy, I don't think it is a bad thing, I think it's wonderful, but I guess people may view 19 as a lot younger than it actually is.

Answer 6

Alot of people tend to be uneasy about young marriages these days. The reason is that most girls at age 19 are a lot less mature than you were at that age. Also, young people tend to be encouraged to pursue a college education before the marry. And there are less guys willing to get married that young now than there were back then.

It's quite refreshing to hear that you've been happily married for that long though! Congrats!

***EDIT***
I should also add the my parents married 2 days after my mom turned 18. They would've been married earlier, if her parents had allowed. My dad was 22. They have now been happily married for 26 years and counting.

Answer 7

Because most people probably aren't reading that that was 31 years ago. It was a different world then- that was fairly common and acceptable. My mom married at 16- that was 44 years ago (marrige lasted almost 21 years). Still way to young, but can't change that now!
They are seeing "married at 19" and not "been married for 31 years". But times are very different now. My sister married at 21 and was considered old (at least where I live)when she married in the early 80's. I married last year at 25 and kept getting comments on why I was marrying so young. Amazing how times change!

Answer 8

If you have been happy and it has worked for you, then great. I think mostly you are probably getting thumbs down for answering questions others have posted about marrying young. It's nice when it works, but honestly if someone is her asking strangers if they are too young to get married it indicates the answer is probably yes. If they were mature enough to be married at 19 they would be seeking advice from family not strangers. Simply asking the questions here leads one to believe they are most likely not ready.

Answer 9

Goodness, it's not a bad thing! I have older sisters who married at your age, or a little older - and have been married over 30 years, and over 20 years - but it's because times were different then. For example, it took my sisters one year each to become a nurse and a teacher, not the four years it took me to get my degree. Also, the spheres of family and community were closer then, too. Our world was smaller, in an emotional and supportive sense.
I think, too, at your age, in that time, you would have been WAY more mature than girls are at this age.
Congrats on all those years!

Answer 10

Statistically speaking, marriages between people who are that young when they tie the knot do not work out. My sister-in-law and her hubby were also married when they were 19, and I think it's awesome that it has lasted 25 years! However, I would KILL my daughter if she came to me at 19 and stated that she wanted to get married. LOL Congrats on being in a happy marriage!