how do you control a manipulative, demanding & controlling type of girlfriend?

Question

My girlfriend is manipulative, demanding and controlling.

(i.e.) I cannot go to a mall sometimes even if i need to just because she doesnt want me to. Basically she wants me to follow everything that she wants. And if something happens or comes through that she doesnt affirm with im dead (insults,blaming and etc).
Maybe because she is so smart, intelligent, hot and beautiful. and she knows she is way better than me, and she is older than me too. What could i possibly do to control her attitude and tame her a bit?

For some reasons i really love her and i understand her. But its just too much sometimes and i dont think being patient is the key. What the hell should i do about this? i need your advices.. i appreciate it thanks.

actually, i have tried many things just to change the situation. its been 6 months and it never changed, she never changed. I spoke to her at first about the situation but it never worked. I told her all about what i feel in a gentle pace and the MAD pace. Still it did not work. We would end up in good terms but still it seems like she does not understand me. I tried to do what she does to me, did not work either. She knows to well that i deeply love her that is why she abuses that fact.

Thank you for the advices guys i really appreciate it.

Answer 1

Leave her if you're not happy.

Answer 2

My current girlfriend used to be that way, but she's not now. What fixed it was just a lot of communication, I don't like to be pushed around, and I made a point to tell her so. Therein lies the key, you need to be assertive! If you feel she's keeping you under her thumb, you need to first decide whether this relationship is worth working for, and if it is, then start speaking up. Just be extremely careful not to let a single word out in anger. The calmer and more collected you are during a confrontation, the better you can think, and the more likely you are to be hear and be heard. Not to mention, if she's worth anything at all, she'll respect your attitude, and that gets you big points. You have to respect her if you want to be respected; that does not however mean that you have to take her punishment lying down. If she just won't listen no matter what, then she has made the choice for you and it should be obvious what you need to do. But do empathize, that helps a lot, but you need to be able to differentiate between when she's just trying to help and may seriously be right, and when she's being obnoxious. My girlfriend and I have only been together a year and a half now, and it's been tough since the beginning. However, we both recognize that we love each other very much, and that is worth any amount of comprising we have to make. We used to fight all the time, or rather she would fight me, but I don't get mad really, I just stay rational and admit when I'm wrong, which is more often than I'd like to admit.

Answer 3

Leave? Are you a quitter? Didnt think so. Have some fun doin' what you want regardless of her opinion. The secret is to just not care about the complaining (its easy and fun). She doesn't care if she angers/inconveniences you, fu....orget that and end it asap. If you shift the situation so you can do what you want unquestioned, then great, you will have earned the respect you seek AND you still get to hit some hella nice boot. If not, shell bounce and you will have the same end result as leaving. Girls have no respect for someone who just pusses out and lets them run **it all the time. Good luck.

Answer 4

that's nt love. a woman is supposed to be loving, understanding, has the ability to love u for who u are nt what u are. a good woman has the compassion to care about u, care about ur feelings take & talk to u about things so that u both can come to a mutual decision. a good woman tells u the truth, trusts u, allows u to hang out w/ ur friends knowing that u will always love her & she does otherwise.

this girl doesn't care about u. she is controlling & manipulative. she sounds like a hypocrite to me. she is using u like a toy until something better comes along. when that happens she'll try & make u spend money on her or do something to give her a reason why u should be w/ her. don't do that dude. leave her now. don't wait. leave. get w/ a girl that cares about u & ur feelings & u do otherwise.

Answer 5

Grow a spine and stand up to her. You don't have to yell, or be mean, or act angry, but you do have to be firm in that you insist on doing what you want, and accept the consequences.

If she cannot take it, then she will leave. This may come as a shock to you, but many women will use this as a test to see how manly you are. She figures that if you cannot stand up TO her, then you cannot stand up FOR her either. If you keep being a push-over, she will get bored with you and eventually dump you anyway.

===edit===

And do not take it when she insults you. Tell her that it is not right, and you will not put up with it. If she keeps atacking you, walk away (or hang up). Talk to her later after she calms down.

Answer 6

do you want a long term relationship with her or just a fling?
if its just a fling:
allow her to do what she did and get her to the point you want her like bed her soon.

if this is a long term then I think its time for a lover's talk
-tell her that she puts her insecurity by putting you on a dog leash
its a dead end to any relationship and its choking you pretty soon you will be suffocating
-tell her that its time to advance into a more trusting and equal relationship

if the talk doesnt work
then play her game on her did everything she did to you and see how she react then you can point out how her way of treating you is hurting your relationship and feeling for her.

build her trust is the key to your relationship not patience you are already very patience to her insecurity.

Answer 7

You don't want to spend your life like this. You need to try to open her eyes and see that she is treating you wrong. If I wanted to go to the mall then I would. You may try reversing the roles and treat the same way she treats you. You may also leave her and see if that would open her eyes. She probably thinks that you will always be there and take her crap. If you broke up with her she may realize that she hasn't treated you the best and change for you. You should be in a relationship that makes you happy. Good Luck

Answer 8

let her know that she sometimes can be controling, demanding.. manipulative point out what she did to make you feel that way.. State the fact that you love her and u feel shes taking advanatage.. cause she knows u would do anything for her.... tell her that you just wanna be happy with her and not miserable and when she acts like that you are! ask her if theres anything about you she doesnt like.. suggest ideas and ways to prevent you guys from acting the way you do...

simple lol

u just need to communicate with her.. or she will never know?!?

good luck

kesha.

Answer 9

You can't control her, she seems very insistent on being dominant and she wants someone she can control. You will either have to continue doing what you're doing and obey her, of you will have to stand up to her and tell her you don't want to live this way anymore. Be prepared though, she may tell you it's her way or the highway. She sounds like a self-absorbed psycho to me.

Answer 10

OK first of all nobody is better than you. Where did you get that idea? From your overly controlling manipulative girlfriend?
If you need to go to the mall, go to the mall and tell her to deal with it. You need to stand up to her.
If you don't she's going to walk all over you!
Other than that, I say dump her, nobody needs to tell you when or when not you can do things!
Good luck!

Answer 11

Sounds like a power struggle you don't want to be controlled but you want to control her


to change the situation address the real issue

sounds like she has been lied to before and has trust issues