my mum thinks so and wants it to be just us! my future sister in law is bridesmaid so i think she would also like her mum to come (she is 14) why do weddings have to be this stressful?
2007-11-29 00:53:44 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
can i just add my future MIL really wants to come so if i did what my mum wanted i would have to tell her she couldn't come!
2007-11-29 01:06:37 · update #1
Why not look for a compromise , e.g you and mum go for a first look round to narrow the field , and then add the others when it gets to the final decisions !!
I hope you get it sorted out. Good Luck for the big day and your future happiness.
2007-11-29 00:57:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you aren't being unfair! Your Mum is being selfish. Your future sis in law needs her mum to help her pick a dress that is so simple to see.
Is it to pick your wedding dress? If it is that I can see a bit more why she wants it to be just you. Especially if you have to deal with prices of things, you know?
Can't you shop twice? Is that too hard?
Its unfortunate, but big deals like weddings do cause stress. My daughter got married last year and we didn't have any fights , but the money and all the details was really tough at times. Hang on, look at the big picture and don't let it get you down. Concentrate on what's important and that's the people involved. I'm hoping my other daughter elopes!!!!!! LOL
I would rather have a small wedding and give my daughter a good size check to help her get started. The first wedding cost over 7,000USD and that was not considered super big or super expensive.....America....It's crazy!!!
2007-11-29 01:06:00 · answer #2 · answered by LeslieAnn 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
What is the big deal if you mother in law goes? Why should you look to start problems before the wedding by not including her in watching you try on dresses. You don't have to get the dress she wants. Also her daughter is 14, who do you think is buying her the brides maid dress? Tell your mother to stop being ridiculous invite your mother in law. Spend the day shopping and go have lunch at a nice place. The planning of the wedding is what you make it. If you make it stress full that is what it will be. If you want to be stress free don't play games with peoples feelings especial your mother in law. Would you like it if your husband ditched your father or would you want your mother in law to say your mom was not welcome? That is not very nice nor is a good start for a marriage.
2007-11-29 02:03:27 · answer #3 · answered by Kat G 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It would be a nice thought to take your future Mother-in-law. The Mother of the groom doesn't have such an active part in the arrangements, and can easily feel left out. Very good for future in-law relations.
I had a friend who wouldn't let her groom's mother know anything about it. They never got on, and the marriage eventually failed. Another friend, whose Mum had died, took Mother-in-law, who was delighted, and treats my friend as the daughter she never had.
My daughter is planning her wedding in summer 2009. It will be difficult to include her future Mum-in-law, as she lives 250 miles away, but I try to make sure she is informed about everything. If she was around, I wouldn't object to her coming.
2007-11-29 14:33:59 · answer #4 · answered by steffi 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it is wonderful you want to include your future mother-in-law. I would of cherished that as I only have a son and will never be able to experience that. You are starting off on the right foot and you mom is being selfish.
Think of how much it would hurt her for you to take away the invitation. Especially if the bridesmaids are able to see it. I actually had that happen to me and was very hurt. It will be something difficult to forget but I can't sweat the small stuff.
2007-11-29 11:23:48 · answer #5 · answered by proud grandma 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is up to you in the end.
I personally would want just my mom to have to final say so about how I'd look in my dress or what kind I should get. You can have your future mother in law help pick out the bridesmade dresses, or other decorations, She can help her daughter .
I think you should have 1 day that is special for just you and your mom. You can have a seperate day devoted to your future in laws. You can show your future mother-in-law the dress if you'd like to see her reaction, but your mom and you should always have the final word about it.
You can take both your mom and future mother-in-law out to eat together as a brunch to let them get to know each other as they'll be in your life for a very long time to come. You want to be sure they can get a long, That time would give you some idea of what the future will hold for you.
2007-11-29 01:07:46 · answer #6 · answered by poetbjc64 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally I wouldn't try to look for a wedding dress AND the bridesmaid dress on the same outing. Selecting a wedding dress is a lot more time consuming then you may think.
I would take Mom along to shop for your dress on one day and then ask your future mother-in-law to join you and her daughter when you select the bridesmaid dress on another day.
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Weddings are only as stressfull as YOU choose to make them, Dearheart. If yours is getting too stressful...it's time to simplify or let others lend you a hand with things.
2007-11-29 01:09:53 · answer #7 · answered by Kaye 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's up to you, but your mum has probably looked forward to this moment since you were a little girl. I live quite a long way from my mum and she wasn't too concerned about getting involved in the planning etc of my wedding, which suited both of us great (much less stress), but if she insists, I reckon you should go with your mum.
2007-11-29 00:57:51 · answer #8 · answered by JoJi 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's entirely up to you - looking for a wedding dress is a special event and if you want your MIL to come then let her come! She may feel hurt if you tell her she's not welcome and if your sister in law is a bride's maid then even more reason for her to be there!
Share this special time with the women in your life and enjoy it, don't let it stress you!
2007-11-29 01:00:32 · answer #9 · answered by Taloollah 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you're being extremely fair!
I think it's great that you want to make sure both sides of the family are included. Your mum may be having odd feelings about losing you to a new life with your future husband, so just reassure her a bit.
You can have other days that just you and your mum spend together.
2007-11-29 00:57:57 · answer #10 · answered by toscamo 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋